BBC sports presenter Dan Walker defends female World Cup football pundits

SKYSCRAPERS AND JUNGLE

First things first – where actually is Panama? Well, it’s the southernmost country in Central America, bordered by Costa Rica to the north-west, Colombia to the south-east. 

The population is just over four million, nearly half of whom live in or around Panama City, which, with its gleaming sky-scrapers, is allegedly the money-laundering capital of the world. 

Some 40 per cent of the country is jungle and it’s the only nation where you can see the sun rise over the Pacific Ocean and set on the Atlantic.

Panama is the only country where you can see the sun rise over the Pacific Ocean and set on the Atlantic 

TANGLED HISTORY

The official language is Spanish, so it’s unlikely many of the England lads will be chipping in with the penalty box banter. 

Spain colonised the country in the 16th century, but it broke away in 1821. Then it gets complicated. It joined a union of nations known as the Republic of Gran Colombia. 

This was dissolved in 1831, with Panama and Colombia becoming the Republic of New Granada and later Colombia. Panama seceded from Colombia in 1903.

A SQUAD OF OLDIES

So have we got a chance? Put it this way, Panama have never qualified for a World Cup before – and they aren’t very good. 

Only footie anoraks will have heard of any of their players, and whereas England has one of the youngest squads in the tournament, Panama’s is ancient by comparison. 

Centre forward Blas Perez (who has played for 19 clubs over 20 years) is 37, and the chap who comes on for him is 36.

Panama have never qualified for a World Cup before, making this year a first 

Panama have never qualified for a World Cup before, making this year a first 

WONDER OF THE WORLD

Their canal makes ours look like trickles of water. The 48-mile Panama Canal – considered by some to be one of the Seven Wonders of the Modern World – connects the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, saving ships 7,800 miles by avoiding Cape Horn. 

Completed in 1914, it generates one third of Panama’s economy through tolls.

NATTY HEADWEAR 

So do the players wear panama hats before the match? No, since they are not actually made in Panama. 

They originated in Ecuador and their history goes back to the Incas. They may have got their name because they were often transported along the canal. 

During the American-Spanish war (1898), the US government ordered 50,000 of them for troops heading for the Caribbean. The British upper classes adopted them as fashionable summer hats.

A DUBIOUS BOSS 

Panama boss Hernan Dario Gomez once attacked an unidentified woman, hitting her at least four times at a pub in Bogota when he was manager of Colombia. 

Understandably he was forced to resign. He later took his native country to the 1998 World Cup before becoming manager of Ecuador, which also reached the finals in 2002. Both countries were eliminated at the group stage.

Panama boss Hernan Dario Gomez (pictured) once attacked an unidentified woman

Panama boss Hernan Dario Gomez (pictured) once attacked an unidentified woman

TAX SCANDAL

The so-called Panama Papers were 11.5 million leaked documents that identified offshore companies. 

The leak (from a law firm in Panama) in 2015 revealed widespread tax avoidance among the political elite. World leaders implicated included Russian president Vladimir Putin and the prime ministers of Pakistan and Iceland. 

Also named was Ian Cameron, father of David, who ran an offshore investment fund, and Argentina’s World Cup star Lionel Messi.

GREEN CHICKEN BROTH

The national dish is sancocho, a chicken broth flavoured with the central American herb culantro, which gives it a greenish colour. It is served with rice and a bottle of hot sauce on the side. 

Some people believe it works wonders for a hangover, so perhaps the England team should have some to hand if they win again.

POCKMARKED DESPOT

Panama’s most notorious politician was the pockmarked Manuel Noriega, the army officer who ruled as dictator from 1983 until 1989. 

He was overthrown by an American invasion, but holed himself up in the Vatican’s embassy in Panama City. 

On Christmas Day he endured ‘music torture’ when the US army blasted him with punk and heavy metal. Sensibly, he surrendered after ten days.

CANOE FRAUDSTERS

A British man, John Darwin, faked his death in a canoe accident near Hartlepool in 2002 to claim £25,000 in insurance, but then resurfaced in Panama five years later. 

He and his wife Anne planned to open a hotel specialising in canoeing holidays. 

Their scam came to an end after Panama’s visa laws were tightened. Darwin returned to the UK and walked into a police station, claiming to have no memory of the past five years. 

Both were convicted of fraud and sentenced to more than six years in prison – very much up the creek without a paddle.

Pictured: John Darwin and his wife Anne are pictured in Panama in 2006 

Pictured: John Darwin and his wife Anne are pictured in Panama in 2006 

 



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