Breast cancer sufferer reveals difference in treatment with husband

When Ana Macedo-Brown heard the doctor say the words she’d been dreading since finding a lump in her breast, she didn’t think things could get worse.

That was until her husband, Dave, took her hand outside the consulting room and said: ‘Well, that makes both of us. I’ve got cancer too.’

In a devastating turn of events, Dave, 64, had been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and had kept it a secret, four days before Ana, 56, his wife of 19 years, learned her news.

Six years on, Ana and Dave are cancer-free. But their shared experience sheds light on the starkly different ways in which the medical profession, and indeed wider society, treats these two types of cancer.

As the Mail revealed last month, prostate cancer is now a bigger killer in this country, with more than 11,800 men dying from the disease every year, compared with 11,400 women dying of breast cancer. Despite this, it receives half the research funding and treatments trail a decade behind.

Ana Macedo-Brown was diagnosed with breast cancer just four days before her husband, Dave Brown, was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Their differing experiences have shown men with prostate cancer can face a harsher, lonelier world than breast cancer patients (pictured together at their home in Galashiels)

From conflicting advice at the point of diagnosis to a lack of after-care, men with prostate cancer can face a harsher, lonelier world than breast cancer patients. Here, two cancer sufferers tell their very different stories . . .

Ana’s story

Ana Macedo-Brown, 56, teaches English as a foreign language. She married Dave in 1999 and the couple live in Galashiels, Scotland. She has one grown-up son from a previous marriage.

‘I was lying in bed when I found the lump,’ Ana explains. ‘It was a little hard blob in my right breast. I didn’t know what it meant — I had no symptoms and I felt healthy.’

Ana put it out of her head but a week later she mentioned the lump to her brother, who insisted she go to A&E to get checked out.

‘They were very thorough,’ she says. ‘Straight away I had MRI scans, a biopsy of my right breast — and then one of my left breast as they found something irregular there as well.

‘I also had a full bone scan to see if anything had spread to my bones or other organs.’

Ana knew Dave — who had gone to his GP complaining of erectile dysfunction — was undergoing some tests, too, and took comfort in the fact that she wasn’t going through this unpleasant process alone.

Dave was by her side when she learned it was cancer, but it was only after she received her news that her husband said: ‘Actually, that makes two of us, as my tests were positive for prostate cancer’. She recalls: ‘He gave me a cuddle and said: “Don’t worry. We’ll get through this.” ’

The couple then began treatment simultaneously. Ana started chemotherapy, which aimed to shrink the tumours in her breasts, followed by a lumpectomy to remove the cancer — and, finally, reconstructive surgery.

All three stages of her treatment have seen significant innovation and cutting-edge advances in recent years, thanks to the £529 million of government and charity funding which has been channelled into treatments for breast cancer since 2002.

While Ana was called in to see her consultant for a detailed explanation after diagnosis, Dave was called and told his diagnosis before being told there would be a letter (pictured: the pair on their wedding day in 1999)

While Ana was called in to see her consultant for a detailed explanation after diagnosis, Dave was called and told his diagnosis before being told there would be a letter (pictured: the pair on their wedding day in 1999)

Prostate cancer, by contrast, receives less than half the funding — just £227 million since 2002 — and treatment options (which include prostate removal surgery and radiotherapy) are often diminished by the time a man seeks medical help.

On average, men with prostate cancer wait four times longer for diagnosis than women with breast cancer.

‘I felt numb but I was never scared,’ Ana says, of her reaction to her diagnosis. ‘The doctors were very clear and reassuring. I never thought I was going to die.’

Nevertheless, the chemotherapy left her feeling dizzy, drained and nauseous.

‘We kept one another going,’ Ana says. ‘The worst thing for me was losing my hair. It started to fall out in the first round of chemo.’ Nurses from the Macmillan Cancer Centre, at the Borders General Hospital, helped Ana find a wig that made her feel comfortable and confident.

‘I gave my wig the nickname “Anita,” ’ she explains. ‘She meant I never had a bad hair day.’ In fact, from the moment of her diagnosis, Ana found herself surrounded by a supportive network of doctors, nurses and volunteers, who helped her stay positive and upbeat, even in the darkest days of her illness.

She went to her local Maggie’s Centre, a drop-in cancer support service, twice a week, where she attended writing workshops, relaxation classes, nutrition lectures and make-up sessions, offering beauty tutorials to women battling cancer. ‘It really helped my self-esteem,’ Ana explains. ‘It was great to have something to focus on — I looked forward to it so much.’

Both her local ward and the larger hospital in Edinburgh, where she had her operations, had ample literature available for breast cancer sufferers.

‘I was able to find information on post-surgery exercises, on how to move forward after cancer — it was all there,’ she explains. ‘I felt hugely supported.’

Volunteers from the Lavender Trust, part of the charity Breast Cancer Care, a UK-wide initiative supporting sufferers, also offered aromatherapy massages — a seemingly small gesture which, Ana says, made her feel pampered during those gruelling times.

Instead of being guided through the process by a single doctor — as Ana was — he saw two consultants who laid out the different options, and then left it up to him to make a decision

Instead of being guided through the process by a single doctor — as Ana was — he saw two consultants who laid out the different options, and then left it up to him to make a decision

All in all, she says, there were myriad services on hand for when she needed help — or just a listening ear.

Friends, too, rallied round. ‘People offered to take me to hospital if I needed a lift,’ she recalls. ‘The odd time, a neighbour would drop in a home-made meal for tea. There was always someone to talk to.’

In May 2013, 11 months after her diagnosis, Ana finally got the all-clear. Astonishingly, she and Dave were in sync again: he had been cleared of cancer just two weeks previously. ‘It was the most wonderful news, but neither of us felt the elation we thought we might,’ Ana admits.

‘We had a bottle of champagne that we’d been saving up, but we didn’t fancy it. We both felt so exhausted.’

After almost a year off work, Ana eased back into her job at the local teaching college — once again with the support of Breast Cancer Care volunteers, who kept in regular contact to make sure she was coping.

The long-term support available for breast cancer sufferers, even several years down the line, is prolific, with telephone, online and face-to-face counselling available for anxiety, depression and adjustment issues.

In 2015, Ana took part in a 20-mile charity walk to raise money for breast cancer research, with Dave, as ever, by her side.

Since then, the couple have done another epic fundraising walk, joining the ranks of almost a million people nationwide who participate in annual charity walks to raise funds and awareness for breast cancer.

The couple have completed an epic fundraising walk together, joining the ranks of almost a million people nationwide who participate in annual charity walks to raise funds and awareness for breast cancer (pictured)

The couple have completed an epic fundraising walk together, joining the ranks of almost a million people nationwide who participate in annual charity walks to raise funds and awareness for breast cancer (pictured)

Both are disheartened there is nothing comparable for prostate cancer.

‘It’s a real shame,’ says Ana. ‘We would definitely do it if there was. We’re lucky that breast cancer has a high profile.

‘But when you’ve had both cancers in one family, you realise the difference between them.’

Ana says she has witnessed a chasm in the way male and female cancers are perceived.

‘All through my treatment I was going to these support groups — I don’t know what I would have done without them,’ she explains.

‘They boosted my mood and helped me keep going. But there weren’t nearly as many on offer for Dave.’

She adds: ‘Dave kept his cancer to himself, whereas I was more open about mine.

‘Now, he talks about it a lot with other men — but at the time he kept his head down and got on with it. There is a stigma surrounding prostate cancer. Having been through both, as a team, and survived, we know how important it is to speak up.

‘It’s the only way to fight this horrific disease.’

Dave’s story 

Dave Brown, 64, is a construction consultant from Scotland. He has three sons (aged 25 to 31) from a previous marriage.

‘Being a man, when I first noticed something was up with my prostate, I tried to ignore it,’ Dave explains.

‘I’d been having erectile dysfunction for a few weeks but I thought it would get better on its own. It was Ana who told me to go and see the doctor.’

Dave made an appointment with his GP, who referred him for a blood test — an early-detection mechanism which measures the amount of prostate-specific antigen (PSA) in the blood.

The doctor also did a biopsy, using a needle to take a sample of tissue from his prostate gland.

The blood test is a modern diagnostic tool, designed to detect early signs of prostate cancer, while the biopsy — which is invasive and can be painful — is required to confirm cancerous cells.

While Ana spent her days going to cancer support centres and taking part in workshops and classes, Dave’s outlet was to accompany his wife to these sessions as there was no equivalent group for men

While Ana spent her days going to cancer support centres and taking part in workshops and classes, Dave’s outlet was to accompany his wife to these sessions as there was no equivalent group for men

Unlike breast cancer, where an MRI scan is carried out as a matter of course, men tend to have an MRI or bone scan if the results are uncertain.

Still, Dave never feared the worst. ‘I was fit and healthy and had no warning signs,’ he says.

A week later — quicker than many men — he got a call from his consultant at the Borders General Hospital.

‘He said: “You’ve scored high in the tests — it’s cancer.” And I said: “OK, where do I go from here?” He said there would be a letter.’

This low-key diagnosis was in stark contrast to Ana’s, who was called in to see her consultant for a detailed explanation.

Back home in Scotland, Dave started treatment for his cancer in August 2012.

Instead of being guided through the process by a single doctor — as Ana was — he saw two consultants who laid out the different options, and then left it up to him to make a decision.

While every cancer is different, treatment options for breast cancer tend to be dictated by medical professionals, whereas prostate cancer patients are often given a choice between different routes, a situation some say leaves them feeling confused or anxious about picking the ‘right’ one.

Dave explains: ‘I was well-informed but I had to decide for myself which route I wanted to go down. I saw one consultant who told me what would be involved if my prostate was removed, and another who explained the alternative route, which involved drugs and hormone injections.

‘I decided to go for the second one — it seemed less invasive than surgery.’

After the first phase of treatment, Dave endured an eight-week course of radiotherapy, which would — with the help of targeted implants in his prostate — eradicate the cancerous cells which doctors had found in muscles surrounding his penis.

While Ana spent her days going to cancer support centres and taking part in workshops and classes, Dave’s outlet was to accompany his wife to these sessions as there was no equivalent group for men.

While there is a growing number of prostate cancer charities around the UK, primarily Prostate Cancer UK, one of the biggest challenges these organisations face is encouraging men to seek — and then accept — their help.

While women tend to be more natural ‘joiners’, many men struggle alone.

Nor do they take up offers of longer-term support which can help them return to work and reintegrate into ‘normal’ life post-cancer.

Dave insists Ana’s cancer was ‘much worse’ than his, a mindset common among prostate cancer sufferers, many of whom see their illness as an admission of weakness.

‘I treated it as a cold, basically,’ he says. ‘I just knew I had to get on with things and I didn’t want to let it stop me.’

While his wife sought solace in friends and neighbours, who were only too eager to help, at first Dave didn’t confide in anyone except his sons and immediate family, thanks to the stigma of the illness.

When he told members of his local rugby club, he was surprised by how many had similar stories.

‘I didn’t think I knew anybody who’d had it,’ he says. ‘But when I did talk about it afterwards, so many men came out of the woodwork and said: “I’ve got that,” or: “I had it and I’m doing fine.”

‘Men don’t talk about it as much. For us it’s a macho thing, a pride thing. We don’t want anyone feeling sorry for us.’

Like Ana, Dave got the all-clear in May 2013.

He continued to have blood tests and injections for two years but is now medication-free — and says the only after-effect is a loss of muscle control meaning he is sometimes caught short.

‘It’s nothing compared to what could have been,’ he says. ‘I’m alive and that’s what matters.’

These days, as well as working a 12-hour shift (he decided to go back to work two years after his diagnosis), Dave channels his energy into walking.

This year, he’s set himself the challenge of walking across Scotland. ‘It would be good to do it in aid of prostate cancer,’ he says. ‘You see a lot more events raising money for breast cancer, it would be nice to even it out.

‘This experience has taught me that prostate cancer can be beaten. There is nothing to be scared of. If more men knew the risks, what to look out for and how to tackle it, we could save a lot of lives.’

Support people affected by breast cancer by signing up for a 10 or 20-mile charity walk at breastcancercare.org.uk/ribbonwalk 



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