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‘Consensual non-monogamist’ only dates bisexual women

A father-of-one has defended his decision to only date bisexual women – saying it allows him the freedom to share partners with his girlfriend. 

Global auto exporter Elan Ram, 36, from New York, met his girlfriend Kat Horton on dating app OK Cupid last year and the couple regularly share their bed with other women in an arrangement they call ‘consensual non-monogamy’. 

Kat, 26, from Alabama, agreed to embark on an open relationship with Elan which means they can both see other people without being accused of cheating. 

The pair insist that there is no jealousy between them as long as the trysts are purely sexual and that they sleep with other women together ‘as a couple’.

Elan, who has a ten-year-old son named Pierce, also teaches other couples how to embark on a similar lifestyle.

Elan Ram and girlfriend Kat Horton, right,  regularly share their bed with other women in an arrangement they call ‘consensual non-monogamy’ (pictured with another woman)

Lifestyle choice: Kat (right) agreed to embark on an open relationship with Elan (centre) which means they can both see other people without being accused of cheating

Lifestyle choice: Kat (right) agreed to embark on an open relationship with Elan (centre) which means they can both see other people without being accused of cheating

‘I’ve had a rule for many years that I will only date a girl who likes girls because I don’t want to cheat, and I know it’s healthy for me,’ Elan said.

‘Whatever respectable girl I find for us to go out and meet, we will find the girls together. I’ve found the perfect partner for this.

‘I always ask if a girl likes other girls right at the beginning because I don’t want to waste money and time on dates if a girl doesn’t like girls.

‘I know there are girls out there that want to have a threesome with her man. Why should I be with a girl that doesn’t want that? Especially when they’re out there.’

Elan added: ‘I don’t cheat on my girlfriend, we only do stuff together and a good way to manage that kind of relationship and avoid jealousy is that after sex with another woman, when Kat walks out of the room, I’m not going to grope and kiss the other girl when she’s not there.

Kat and Elan with another woman on a night out. The pair insist that there is no jealousy between them as long as the trysts are purely sexual and that they sleep with other women together 'as a couple'

Kat and Elan with another woman on a night out. The pair insist that there is no jealousy between them as long as the trysts are purely sexual and that they sleep with other women together ‘as a couple’

Elan and Kat with a recent conquest. The father-of-one said of their arrangement: 'I've had a rule for many years that I will only date a girl who likes girls because I don't want to cheat, and I know it's healthy for me'

Elan and Kat with a recent conquest. The father-of-one said of their arrangement: ‘I’ve had a rule for many years that I will only date a girl who likes girls because I don’t want to cheat, and I know it’s healthy for me’

‘When she comes back, I don’t want her to think that every time she walks out of the room, I’ll start rubbing and kissing other girls. It’s a way of managing jealousy and building trust.’

Kat said: ‘Consensual non-monogamy is my preferred relationship style and my relationship with Elan is the most fulfilling I’ve had. We respect each other’s boundaries and I feel incredibly secure and content,’ she said.

‘Our relationship is solid, and our girlfriends have only enhanced that. The dynamic of being with one dominant male partner and only engaging with other girls together is ideal for me, as opposed to being completely open.’

Elan and Kat’s method of picking up girls involves going to bars and using dating apps.

‘I find girls for us and I’ve been living like this for so long I have chick friends that like my vibe and are happy for me when I find a girlfriend,’ Elan explained.

Elan and Kat on a recent night out. Elan says of their relationship: 'Whatever respectable girl I find for us to go out and meet, we will find the girls together. I've found the perfect partner for this'

Elan and Kat on a recent night out. Elan says of their relationship: ‘Whatever respectable girl I find for us to go out and meet, we will find the girls together. I’ve found the perfect partner for this’

The couple regularly meet with other women. Explaining how their relationship works, Elan says: 'I always ask if a girl likes other girls right at the beginning because I don't want to waste money and time on dates if a girl doesn't like girls'

The couple regularly meet with other women. Explaining how their relationship works, Elan says: ‘I always ask if a girl likes other girls right at the beginning because I don’t want to waste money and time on dates if a girl doesn’t like girls’

Defending his relationship with Kate (pictured), Elan said: 'I know there are girls out there that want to have a threesome with her man. Why should I be with a girl that doesn't want that? Especially when they're out there'

Defending his relationship with Kate (pictured), Elan said: ‘I know there are girls out there that want to have a threesome with her man. Why should I be with a girl that doesn’t want that? Especially when they’re out there’

‘I started having this rule ten years ago and I just knew that there are bisexual girls out there and I deserve the best – I know it sounds a little cocky but if girls want a guy that they can have fun with, why not be that guy?

‘We have many ways to meet girls; we either meet them online, at bars, or a third way is that I have a lot of female friends that are bisexual that I’ve had sex with before.

‘I’ve also had threesomes with my other girlfriends and they are lifelong friends that come into my life and are happy that if I meet a girlfriend, they agree to have sex with us.

‘Some of the rules today is that we only do stuff together and when I text girls and flirt, I always say in that text message ‘we’ are doing this, or ‘we’ are doing that. Everything we do is together with other girls.

Elan and Kat enjoying the company of another woman on a recent night out. Elan explains: : 'I don't cheat on my girlfriend, we only do stuff together and a good way to manage that kind of relationship and avoid jealousy is that after sex with another woman, when Kat walks out of the room, I'm not going to grope and kiss the other girl when she's not there'

Elan and Kat enjoying the company of another woman on a recent night out. Elan explains: : ‘I don’t cheat on my girlfriend, we only do stuff together and a good way to manage that kind of relationship and avoid jealousy is that after sex with another woman, when Kat walks out of the room, I’m not going to grope and kiss the other girl when she’s not there’

Elan says of his relationship with Kat, right: 'Our relationship is solid, and our girlfriends have only enhanced that'

Elan says of his relationship with Kat, right: ‘Our relationship is solid, and our girlfriends have only enhanced that’

Elan and girlfriend Kat with another woman at a Halloween party. Elan said of his unusual lifestyle choice: 'Many guys say they want to live like this but don't really want another girl. If their girl is bisexual and wants to live like that, then she should say it in the beginning of the relationship'

Elan and girlfriend Kat with another woman at a Halloween party. Elan said of his unusual lifestyle choice: ‘Many guys say they want to live like this but don’t really want another girl. If their girl is bisexual and wants to live like that, then she should say it in the beginning of the relationship’

‘My girlfriend is a type of bisexual that will never date another girl. There are bisexual girls on the Kinsey scale [also known as the Heterosexual–Homosexual Rating Scale] that would date other girls and I never date that kind of girl as I don’t want my girlfriend to leave me for another girl.’

Elan and Kat are currently living together and while their close friends have been accepting of their lifestyle, they have received some negative comments from Elan’s friend’s girlfriends and wives.

His son, Pierce, has grown accustomed to his relationship.

‘My son is very accepting and asks if we are going to have a girl over tonight and is happy if we do,’ Elan said.

Elan with son Pierce. He says of the ten-year-old: 'My son is very accepting and asks if [me and Kat] are going to have a girl over tonight and is happy if we do'

Elan with son Pierce. He says of the ten-year-old: ‘My son is very accepting and asks if [me and Kat] are going to have a girl over tonight and is happy if we do’

Elan, who has a ten-year-old son named Pierce (pictured on holiday together) teaches other couples how to embark on a similar lifestyle to him and girlfriend Kat Horton

Elan, who has a ten-year-old son named Pierce (pictured on holiday together) teaches other couples how to embark on a similar lifestyle to him and girlfriend Kat Horton

‘A lot of my friends’ girlfriends and wives look down on me.. But my good friends that have strong minded wives and girlfriends have been good with it and I’m still friends with – I really cherish and respect those women.

‘I never get jealous of her with other girls because I know she would never date one. Sometimes when we drink and if I talk to the girl a little too long there is a little jealousy and she gives me a look, then I recognise that I reign it in.

‘I want people out there to know that you should say what you want at the beginning of the relationship. I have a lot of girls that approach me and say, ‘I want my husband to be like this’.

‘Many guys say they want to live like this but don’t really want another girl. If their girl is bisexual and wants to live like that, then she should say it in the beginning of the relationship.’

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk


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