Hoda Kotb has shared intimate details about adopting a daughter at the age of 52, candidly admitting that she has ‘done the math’ and thought long and hard about what becoming a mother at an older age means for her beloved Haley Joy in the future.
The 53-year-old Today host and children’s book author also recalled the moment that she first raised the idea of adoption with her longtime partner, 59-year-old financier Joel Schiffman, after spending years believing that parenthood would never be in the cards for her.
Speaking about the couple’s little girl, Hoda said that, despite the barriers and struggles they might face as older parents, she will be ‘forever thankful’ to have Haley Joy in her life, and is focused completely on ‘being grateful for [however many] years we have together’.
Love: Hoda Kotb has shared intimate details about adopting a daughter at the age of 52. She is pictured with Haley Joy, now one
Emotional: Hoka, 53, opened up to Femail about welcoming Haley Joy into her life along with her partner Joel Schiffman, after thinking parenthood would never be in the cards for her
Honest: The host also got candid about being an ‘older mom’, and how she hopes to spend as much time as possible with her beloved daughter
Hoda, who was diagnosed with cancer when she was 42 years old, came out of treatment unable to conceive.
She was originally nervous to bring up the topic of adoption to Joel, but resolved to have the emotional conversation nonetheless.
‘I remember when I went to speak to Joel about it… my heart was pounding. I think I was afraid of the answer, to be honest. But I knew I had to say something, I had to ask,’ she said.
‘When I went to speak to him, he could tell there was something up, and I think he was just thinking, “What is happening?”‘
Family: Hoda adopted Haley Joy, a Valentine’s Day baby, in February of last year, and shared her big news on the Today show
Joy: Since becoming a mother, Hoda has been incredibly happy, and has shared many sweet photos of her life with her daughter
Conversation: Hoda recounted the moment she told Joel (pictured with Hoda, Haley, and Hoda’s mother) that she wanted to adopt a baby with him
Emotional: The anchor described how nervous she was before telling Joel she wanted to explore adoption with him, and how he agreed right away
Sharing: Hoda has been over the moon since becoming a parent, and has shared her happiness with her viewers and followers through regular updates
Sweet: The mother has now written a children’s book, I’ve Loved You Since Forever, inspired by the adoption of Haley Joy
Eventually, Hoda told him she wanted to pursue adoption with him, and made it clear he should feel free to take time to ponder that possibility.
‘Take a day, a month, a year, whatever you need to think about it, and you can just let me know when you’re ready,’ she said, recounting the conversation. ‘And he just looked at me and said, “I don’t need a day.”‘
Hoda was overwhelmed by Joel’s immediate commitment.
‘I could have died,’ she added. ‘I was crying so hard, I soaked his T-shirt. It was incredible. And they have an amazing relationship.’
Joel and Hoda welcomed Haley, a Valentine’s Day baby, in February last year. Since then, the Today anchor has shared dozens of snapshots of her new life as a mother, and has been radiating happiness.
‘I am lucky that I have an incredible life partner who was so supportive and so open to it,’ Hoda said of the adoption.
Total agreement: While Hoda told Joel he could take his time to consider adoption, he told her he didn’t need to ponder it at all and was on board right away
Busy: Hoda (pictured with Al Roker) traveled to South Korea earlier this year to cover the Olympics in PeyongChang
Becoming a parent later in life has also come with a moment of reckoning for Hoda.
‘I think any older mom who says they haven’t done the math is probably lying. I’ve absolutely thought about it and what it means. What it means for the future,’ she said.
‘But my dad passed away when he was in his early fifties and I was in my early twenties… I was a junior in college. It was sudden, and scary, and terrible. But the seeds he lay for me during those 20 years, remain with me today. The things he taught me are still a part of me now.’
Hoda, who recently shared her joy at hearing Haley say ‘Mama’ for the first time, is focusing on the present, and in transmitting her key values to her cherished little one.
She has also written a children’s book, I’ve Loved You Since Forever, inspired by her experience adopting Haley. The book is currently at the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list in the children’s picture books category.
‘My goals are just to be with her for as long as I can,’ she added. ‘To love her forever – of course – and to help her become the person that she is meant to be. Which I can already see is going to be someone who is kind, and good, and smart, and funny, and wonderful.
‘I will work with what I have, I will be grateful for the years that I have, and I thank God that I have her in my life at all. I’m so thankful for the time that I get with her.’