The mother of Julian Cadman, the seven-year-old boy killed in the Barcelona terror attack, has revealed her ongoing grief for the little boy who never got to grow up.
Jumarie Cadman, who was badly injured in the August attack, told The Daily Telegraph she still struggles to understand why she lived and her son did not.
‘I just want Julian back, I don’t know why I survived and he didn’t,’ she said.
Jumarie Cadman (pictured right) lost her seven-year-old son Julian (left) in the Barcelona terror attack in August this year
The mother-of-one was with her son in Spain for a family wedding when he was killed and she was left with devastating injuries from a rented van which drove through crowds on Las Ramblas
Mrs Cadman, 43, and her son were in Spain for the wedding of her niece when Moroccan-born Younes Abouyaaqoub smashed a truck into crowds in Las Ramblas, killing 13 and injuring 130.
Julian was to be page boy at the upcoming wedding, and Mrs Cadman revealed she still had the clothing she had purchased on their trip for the celebration.
The Sydney woman was left with a shattered pelvis and legs, and underwent extensive surgery in Spain before returning to Sydney for further treatment at Westmead Hospital.
Mrs Cadman said the pair had just left a store when they were swept up in the devastating attack, and she felt her son’s hand be pulled away from hers
In Barcelona, a hired van (pictured), registered to rental company Telefurgo, rammed into scores of holidaymakers and their children. The crumpled van is pictured in the aftermath of the attack
Mrs Cadman says she doesn’t sleep anymore, and misses her son Julian ‘every hour’
She said when she first returned home, she was unable to get past the front door.
Pictured: Younes Abouyaaqoub, 22, the mass murderer who drove a van along Las Ramblas
Twice she had to return to the hospital, before finally making it indoors through the back garden.
‘The hardest [part] was going into Julian’s playroom, his bedroom – I managed with the help of the hospital social worker,’ she said.
Nearly three months on from the attack, Mrs Cadman’s grief has not begun to subside.
She recalls the moment she lost her son vividly, telling The Daily Telegraph she had just bought her son a toy after what she described as a ‘lovely’ day.
Moments later, as they left the store, his hand was pulled from hers and he was swept away in the attack.
‘I don’t sleep, I miss him every hour,’ she said.
‘I loved being a mum, but it’s all gone.’
Islamic State claimed responsibility for the attack, and while 22-year-old terrorist Abouyaaqoub managed to escape authorities for five days, he was eventually shot dead.
It took Mrs Cadman three attempts just to get into the family home in Sydney when she was released from hospital, as grief overcame her (pictured: Julian Cadman)