News, Culture & Society

West Ham try horse racing commentary with Richard Hoiles

A handful of West Ham players got into the Cheltenham spirit as they discovered how hard a job as a horse racing commentator really is.  

Joe Hart, James Collins and club captain Mark Noble joined Patrice Evra with ITV to put their commentary skills to the test, where they attempted to make sense of what on earth is going on during a horse race. Unsurprisingly, it’s quite difficult.

Joining ITV’s horse racing commentary pro Richard Hoiles in a racing special for Betway Insider, each Hammer tried their luck while the rest watched in a waiting room.

West Ham sent a handful of their players to try their hands at horse racing commentary

The Hammers players were shown the ropes by ITV's Richard Hoiles in a racing special

The Hammers players were shown the ropes by ITV’s Richard Hoiles in a racing special

Captain Mark Noble goes first as he tries to make sense of Cheltenham's 2015 Mares' Hurdle

Captain Mark Noble goes first as he tries to make sense of Cheltenham’s 2015 Mares’ Hurdle

Skipper Noble went first, and made a pretty good effort of it too, making several football analogies as he went, but lost his way somewhat towards the end, when the only phrase he could think of to describe the finish was: ‘It’s going to be tight.’ Which he repeated three times. 

Next up was Hart, who – as opposed to his normal fiery and emotional state on the football pitch struggled to muster any excitement over a photo-finish race. The only piece of excitement coming from his mic drop after the race concluded.

Hoiles gives the Hammers players some basic tips before they each have a go

Hoiles gives the Hammers players some basic tips before they each have a go

James Collins (left), Noble and Joe Hart (right) watch on as Patrice Evra has a go

James Collins (left), Noble and Joe Hart (right) watch on as Patrice Evra has a go

Collins and Noble sit together as the latter enjoys a joke with his teacher Hoiles

Collins and Noble sit together as the latter enjoys a joke with his teacher Hoiles

Evra was by far the worst as he even got the identity of the winning horse wrong for his race

Evra was by far the worst as he even got the identity of the winning horse wrong for his race

Collins was the most-likely to pursue a career in horse racing after his inevitable retirement, confusing his team-mates with some terminology such as ‘on the bridle’ which left Noble baffled in the waiting room. 

Evra was by far the worst, with the majority of his turn consisting of noises and ramble, which was hard to make sense of.

‘Where is going? Where is going my boy,’ he shouts in desperation, utterly bemused by the spectacle he is supposed to be giving fast and efficient commentary to.

‘Come on, come on, go on,’ he continues, before getting the winner of his race wrong. ‘I don’t even know what I’m doing here,’ he concludes. No, Patrice, we don’t either.

Evra admitted at the end of his race that he had no idea what he was doing

Evra admitted at the end of his race that he had no idea what he was doing

The French defender struggles, shouting: ‘Where is going? Where is going my boy’

Noble shows his excitement as Hoiles demonstrates how to commentate effectively

Noble shows his excitement as Hoiles demonstrates how to commentate effectively



Read more at DailyMail.co.uk


Do you like it? Share with your friends!


Comments are closed.