Several women have taken to Reddit to reveal what it’s really like to be in a serious long-term relationship, the good, the bad and the ugly.
In the AskWomen subreddit, reddit user –Kfrey asked: ‘What’s the most difficult part of a serious relationship?’
And the question has prompted a huge response from other women eager to share their personal experiences.
Honest: Women have taken to Reddit’s AskWomen subreddit to reveal the worst things about being in a ‘serious’ long-term relationship
Losing a sense of independence was a common theme with the women commenting on the thread, with several referencing how difficult it is to not lose a sense of self.
Redditor awallpapergirl wrote: ‘Sometimes it’s not as difficult, and you naturally fall into tandem. But it can be very hard to know when you’re compromising together versus compromising yourself in the inevitable issues. I had peaceful, easy relationships for years that I later realised were so easy because there was no resistance from me generally losing my sense of self entirely as a very passive person.’
This also resonated with littleorangemonkeys, who shared that she still struggled with the concept of making personal decisions with the other person in mind.
She wrote: ‘From little things to “hey wanna grab drinks this weekend? C**p did SO and I already have plans?” to big stuff like moving states for a promotion.
‘Your opinion isn’t the only one that matters anymore. And even if your opinions mostly are the same, you still have to stop and think about someone else whenever you make a decision.
However, she added that it was ‘worth it’.
And m_bella shared: ‘When should their opinion influence certain decisions. When should just their ‘being’ influence your decision making. Thinking of them, but not completely changing what you truly want/need because of them.’
Compromise was a common theme throughout the thread, with many women sharing that they struggled with it, regardless of how long they’d been with their partner.
Sisterhood: Most women agreed that compromise and communication were the biggest factors in a long-term relationship
Redditor FlyingNeonPoop shared: ‘Knowing the difference between sacrifice and compromise. For me, personally, I still struggle with this. Sometimes, I will cut back on something for the sake of my husband’s happiness or comfort, and I’ll catch myself joking about how much I sacrifice for him.
‘A part of me will believe that, so I constantly have to remind myself that it’s a compromise, not a sacrifice. My husband compromises in numerous ways for me without cracking jokes or complaining, so I should do the same for him.’
And abqkat agreed: ‘I think that it sure is easy to compromise with someone that you’re compatible with, and that is the advice I give to people in discussions like these.
‘You can compromise on little things, but your life shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice, and you shouldn’t compromise on foundational, fundamental parts of yourself.’
For user anotherhappypotato, this equated to not being selfish.
She explained: ‘When you realize that it’s not just all about you anymore, you now need to factor in two people. I always tell my friends that if you’re too selfish, you shouldn’t be in a relationship.’
The topic of communication was also repeated several times, with many women sharing that being able to talk to a partner was vital if a relationship was to survive.
Redditor surena_taro shared: ’Communication. It’s key to everything. Mess it up and it won’t work or it’ll be hard for it to work.’
While Jewels133 had this advice: ‘Communicating like a mature adult, when emotions are high and you really just want to throw something, stomp your foot and hit them. And choosing not to because you love the person and don’t want to hurt them.’