A bride’s wedding day is perhaps the biggest of her life, so the last thing she needs while preparing for it are niggling worries about things that could go wrong.
TV agony aunt Deidre Sanders shared her advice for making the build up as stress-free as possible on This Morning on Tuesday, as she answered calls from anxious brides-to-be fretting over everything from family feuds to unwanted guests.
She also shared a solution for a bride keen to honour the memory of a dearly departed parent on their special day – while keeping her other relatives happy.
One bride was worried about how her fiancé and daughter were going to get on her big day and asked for advice
Agony aunt Deidre Sanders was on hand to dish out problems to solve wedding day dilemmas from This Morning viewers
Most brides will have experienced a headache or two over their guestlist, and one caller today explained she was considering un-inviting the best man’s girlfriend – over a ‘questionable’ past remark in which she claimed the groom had made a pass at her.
‘I feel quite uncomfortable inviting her to the wedding,’ the caller, named only as Sally, told Deidre.
She added that although the comment was made a ‘while ago’, she remained concerned that the woman could cause unnecessary drama at the wedding.
Deidre said she would normally advise the caller to confront the woman over her claims, to explain that she was ‘ultimately wrong’.
‘But for the sake of the ongoing future of his mate, I would move on,’ the agony aunt reasoned, urging the bride-to-be to leave her on the guest-list for the sake of her husband-to-be’s friendship with his pal.
‘I would think “you petty silly girl” who said this just maybe said this to cause trouble and big herself up.
‘Move on from it, but I’d avoid her in future as much as you can.’
A wedding day can prove to be a headache when planning who to invite, dealing with family arguments and problems that could arise on the day
One concerned widow called the ITV daytime show to reveal her concerns over poor relations between her fiancé and her daughter from her first marriage.
Helen, who is getting married next year, explained that her daughter and husband-to-be struggle to be in the same room as one another – making her understandably concerned about them sharing space at the top table on her wedding day.
She said that her daughter was still struggling with the loss of her father the year before.
‘They are both as bad as each other,’ she said of her husband-to-be and her daughter.
Deidre suggested that she should have a ‘serious talk’ with both parties – but separately.
‘Tell her “I know the man I’m about to marry gets under your skin, but my wedding day is precious to me, I would so appreciate that just for that one day… you can swallow it down and be there for me and accept how you feel about him – but this is the direction that my life is going.”‘
The TV agony aunt, who regularly appears on the daytime show, advised Helen to leave it up to her daughter to decide if she wanted to play a part in the wedding on the day.
Helen said she was happy to be a bridesmaid, prompting Deidre to urge her to tell her groom: ‘Tell him to “suck it up and put a smile on your face and be there for me”.’
DEALING WITH LOSS
One bride-to-be who is coping with the loss of her mother told how it’s left her with a further dilemma on her hands.
She said she was afraid her step-father, who was married to her late mother, would no longer feel he belonged at the wedding.
Amanda explained that her biological father would be walking her down the aisle, but that she wanted to make sure her step-father wasn’t ‘left out’ of her special day.
Deidre suggested that because the two men have an amicable relationship, her step-father and father should both be seated at the top table.
She also recommended that as her father would be making a speech for her, and the best man a speech for the groom and bridesmaids, that her step-father could make a toast to ‘absent friends’.
‘I really believe we can script our weddings how we want to. I would create an extra toast,’ said Deidre.
This Morning airs weekdays on ITV at 10.30am