Alan Dershowitz reunites with his late client Jeffrey Epstein in hell which Senator Mitch McConnell uses as a sauna in the cold open for Saturday Night Live – the first new episode of 2020.
Dershowitz, the famous defense lawyer whose roster of past clients includes Epstein, OJ Simpson, Mike Tyson, and Claus von Bulow, has been one of President Trump’s fiercest defenders on television.
He will make a presentation before the Senate on behalf of the president during his impeachment trial.
The show portrayed McConnell and fellow Republican Susan Collins, the senator from Maine, as weaklings who rig the impeachment trial for President Trump, who did not make an appearance in the sketch.
The two meet in the Senate chamber to discuss the trial.
Adam Driver (left) portrays Jeffrey Epstein and Jon Lovitz (right) plays Alan Dershowitz in the opening sketch of the NBC hit comedy variety show Saturday Night Live
‘I wanted to see what you thought of the Democrats’ case,’ McConnell, who is played in the sketch by Beck Bennett, says.
‘Well, I was upset that Adam Schiff said Republicans are afraid of standing up to the president,’ said Collins, who is played by SNL cast member Cecily Strong.
‘If Trump ever tried to intimidate Susan Collins, I’d say…’
Collins’ voice then trails off as she does a mock scolding while looking down at the ground.
In real life, Schiff, one of the House impeachment managers, accused Republicans of failing to hold Trump to account before they were afraid of him.
‘We all know this impeachment proceeding is a sham and a ho-ax,’ McConnell says in the sketch.
‘Republicans are simply requesting a fair trial – no witnesses, no evidence.’
The Senate Majority Leader continues: ‘That way we can acquit President Trump and focus on the real criminals in this country – teenagers who try marijuana.’
Collins then chimes in, saying: ‘Well, the evidence against Trump is pretty damning so I’m still on the fence.’
As Collins finishes her thought, she winks her right eye as if to indicate that she has already made up her mind about acquitting the president.
‘Don’t worry,’ McConnell says. ‘Our star defense attorney is presenting his case on Monday.’
McConnell then invites Dershowitz to ‘rehearse his arguments.’
Dershowitz is played in the sketch by Jon Lovitz, the actor and comedian who became famous on Saturday Night Live, appearing on the show between 1985 and 1990.
‘Jealous?’ a preening Dershowitz asks McConnell and Collins as he enters the scene.
‘It’s wonderful to be here – because I’m not welcome anywhere else,’ Dershowitz says.
In real life, Dershowitz has complained in the press about being shunned by his former friends and colleagues because of his frequent defense of Trump in the news media.
‘[There are] a lot of haters out there for no good reason,’ Lovitz’s Dershowitz says.
‘But, like I said to my client and my dear friend Jeffrey Epstein, haters gonna gate.’
When McConnell suggests that it might be best not to mention Epstein, Dershowitz tries again, saying: ‘President Trump is a lot like another client of mine – Sir OJ Simpson.’
Simpson is the former professional football player and actor who was acquitted of killing his ex-wife and her friend in 1994 despite DNA evidence tying him to the crime.
In real life, Dershowitz was a member of Simpson’s ‘dream team’ of lawyers.
‘Can you not mention your previous clients in connection with the president?’ Collins says.
‘It’s not a great look.’
To which Dershowitz replies: ‘Hey, “It’s not a great look” is printed on my business cards.’
He continues: ‘If I learned one thing from my time with accused wife killer Claus von Bulow, it’s that appearances can be deceiving.’