If the chef uses rotten eggs and adds salt instead of sugar, the cake’s going to turn out to be a bloody mess.
That’s the lesson learned from meet-the-parents week on Married At First Sight, as fans finally worked out what’s wrong with these ‘children’ by studying their parents.
So why does Hayley walk all over David? Why does Michael get away with murder and does Steve tell everyone to shut up, or just Mishel? Let’s find out.
What happened? It’s meet the parents week, where we try and work out what went wrong with these ‘bad eggs’ by meeting the lucky cluckers who hatched them
Hayley and David
Glass case of emotion: ‘I’m so fustrated (yes, F-U-S-T-R-A-T-E-D) with Hayley’ David told producers to start the episode
Hayley and David don’t do anything ‘vanilla.’ Their grasp of the English language is about as rough as their bedroom encounters and they wouldn’t have it any other way.
‘I’m so fustrated (yes, F-U-S-T-R-A-T-E-D) with Hayley,’ David told producers at the start of the episode.
The show cut to ad break on a cliffhanger, so you KNOW it must have been something huge.
His complaint turned out to be something like: ‘I was just tryna watch the entire Rambo series and Hayley just wouldn’t stop talking.’
‘She was all good during the first three movies, but we get to number four and she starts yapping about how the sun’s already out and she’s tired.’
RamBORED: His complaint turned out to be something like: ‘I was just tryna watch the entire Rambo series and Hayley just wouldn’t stop talking’
‘What does a guy have to do to get 10 hours of interrupted silence these days? I miss the early 2000s.’
The tension continued at family lunch, where we finally worked out what was wrong with these two.
Hayley’s dad is a quiet type whose interests include posting in the Sons Of Anarchy forums, helping distant relatives move and being walked all over by his children.
The problem: The tension continued at family lunch, where we finally worked out what was wrong with Hayley. Meet her Dad, Dale and best friend, Bek
Her best friend Bek is a John Aiken type who likes to try and solve problems by pointing out the obvious.
Joining David were his farm mates. There’s ‘Rake’ (the bigger one), and Biffo (the little one with big arms but no bite).
David tries to explain how he’s losing his mind because Hayley ‘never lets me finish my…’
David’s backup: Joining David were his farm mates. There’s ‘Rake’ (the bigger one), and Biffo (the little one with big arms but no bite)
She won’t let me… David tried to explain how he’s losing his mind because Hayley ‘never lets me finish my…’
‘Potatoes!’ Hayley interrupted.
‘No, not potatoes,’ he clapped back, ‘senten…’
‘Nah, it’s potatoes, mate,’ Hayley decided.
‘Potatoes’ Hayley interrupted. In the end David just took a leaf out of her Dad’s book and just kept his mouth shut
After being silent the whole time, Hayley’s dad finally spoke up.
‘David, it sounds like you’re saying it’s all Hayley’s fault?’
Hayley, you trained him well.
But as lunch wore on, Dad worked out that everything was, in fact, Hayley’s fault. He decided not to push the issue.
‘Hayley wouldn’t like that,’ he explained.
He speaks! After being silent the whole time, Hayley’s Dad finally spoke up: ‘David, it sounds like you’re saying it’s all Hayley’s fault?’ Hayley, you trained him well
Michael and Stacey
Here’s trouble: Michael was ‘freakin out,’ over at his mum’s place, because Stacey brought her best friend Brooke, and she hates him
‘I’m freakin’ out, because Stacey’s brought her best friend Brooke, and she hates me,’ Michael explained at dinner.
There for support was his Scottish mother, Julie, who lets him do whatever he likes as long as he visits once a week to help her delete photos off the Iphone.
It doesn’t take long for Brooke to bring up Michael’s drinking.
‘Stacey may look 35, but she’s only 26, but she acts like she’s 35, do you get me?’ she said.
The enabler: Brooke brought up Michael’s drinking. Michael’s mum admitted it was a thing, but somehow turned it into a positive: ‘He’s a bit of a free spirit and that can be a bit intimidating’
When he didn’t ‘get her,’ she simplified to: ‘Stacey’s done with all the partying.’
Michael’s mum agreed with this – she even had the bail bond receipts to prove it.
But she managed to pivot her opinion to make it a positive thing about her son.
‘Michael is a bit of a free spirit and that can be a bit intimidating for a girl,’ she said.
What she really said: ‘I don’t mind picking my son up from Star Casino three nights a week, because the security guards call me “Mrs. M” and respect is all I ask for,’ she basically said
So that’s why Michael gets away with murder, because all mum needs is a son who loves her.
‘I don’t mind picking my son up from Star Casino three nights a week, because the security guards call me “Mrs. M” and respect is all I ask for,’ she basically said.
Mishel and Steve
Mishel SPEAKS: Over at the retirement home, Steve is forced to stop telling Mishel to ‘shut up’ in social situations, because she had one foot out the door at the commitment ceremony
Over at the retirement home, Steve is forced to stop telling Mishel to ‘shut up’, because she had one foot out the door at the commitment ceremony.
The morning before family lunch, she brought up another issue.
‘You didn’t want to go to Bondi beach with me, but I’m going away for a week and now on Facebook I saw you’re going to Bondi with the boys!?’ Mishel probed.
A new issue: Mishel brought up another issue in the morning: ‘You didn’t want to go to Bondi beach with me, but I’m going away for a week and now on Facebook I saw you’re going to Bondi with the boys!?’ Mishel probed
‘No, I’m not going to Bondi!’ he clapped back.
‘I’m going to Coogee! It’s different.’
Steve broke down in tears after a boring lunch with Mishel’s kids.
No I ain’t! ‘No, I’m not going to Bondi!’ he clapped back ‘I’m going to Coogee! It’s different!’
‘Aw, what’s wrong?’ Mishel asked.
Steve was upset because he misses his own children, who he seems to have left in England to pursue his dreams of being an Australian barber.
‘I’m just happy that you’re opening up to me. I think that it’s all positives. It was just an emotional day,’ Mishel said.
‘Oh shut up Mishel’ Steve whispered.
Teen tears: Steve broke down in tears after a boring lunch with Mishel’s kids, because he misses his own kids. ‘I’m here if you need,’ Mishel said. ‘Shut up Mishel,’ Steve replied
Connie and Jonethen
Who cares about these two?
That’s a legitimate question, if you care about this boring saga, email Alex.Michael@mailonline.com and I’ll start paying attention when they’re on.
Who cares about Connie? That’s a legitimate question, if you care about this boring saga, email Alex.Michael@mailonline.com and I’ll start paying attention when they’re on