A 25-year-old dietitian has opened up about his life-long battle with anorexia and reveals fears he will ‘never be free’ of the disease.
Alex Rodriguez was just 10-years-old when he was first consumed by intrusive thoughts, self-loathing, and an obscene obsession with food and exercise.
By 14, the youngster from Melbourne was so unwell doctors had him under 24-hour surveillance just to keep him alive.
He thought he had finally regained control of his mental health and ‘gotten over’ the insidious disease when his life was once again derailed after he headed off to university to study nutrition.
Speaking to FEMAIL the dietitian described the disorder as being similar ‘to an abusive partner bent on taking away his agency, control and support network’.
Alex spent years trying to get better and admits even now he sometimes slips into unhealthy thought patterns but has learned how to push them out.
Alex Rodriguez [pictured], 25, from Melbourne, was only 10-years-old when he was first diagnosed with disordered eating
‘My eating disorder goes back to when I was very young,’ he explained. ‘I was an anxious kid and had very low self esteem.’
Alex’s parents got divorced when he was 10-years-old, and the stress of a broken family coupled with being bullied in primary school lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
‘I felt like everything was pure chaos and life was out of control. That’s when I started turning to food because it was one of the only things I could regulate.’
‘I became super obsessive about food intake and how much I was exercising.’
Alex was taken to a dietitian for the first time when he was 11 – and said he was extremely fortunate that the professional was able to get him back on track.
While Alex was not medically at risk for the rest of his teenage years, he had only just started understanding the long journey he would need to embark on to truly recover
But things began to go downhill once more during Alex’s adolescence.
‘My anxiety, low self esteem, and obsession with food came back when I turned 14,’ he shared. ‘I started to build my identity around being ‘fit’ and ‘healthy’ and I started running a lot.’
‘I had lost a lot of weight and became mentally unstable,’ Alex recalled. ‘I was out of control once again.’
Alex eventually had to be admitted to the hospital and spent four weeks in in-patient care.
‘I felt like I’d begun the next chapter of my life after leaving the hospital.’
While Alex was not medically at risk for the rest of his teenage years, he had only just started understanding the long journey he would need to embark on to truly recover.
The man soon realised that the risk factors for his disordered eating were still present during his time at university.
Though he had previously fixated on looking lean and running a lot, Alex’s new obsession took the form of wanting to look as muscular and strong as possible.
‘That’s when I realised I truly wanted to pursue full recovery. I still had an extremely negative body image but I wanted my eating disorder to stop impacting how I lived my life.’
‘I really needed to learn who I truly was and live how I wanted to live instead of the way my mental illness was making me,’ Alex said.
Alex now lives in Queensland and works as a full-time nutritionist and dietitian.
Alex now lives in Queensland and works as a full-time nutritionist and dietitian
Even though he is well into his recovery, the man admitted to occasionally falling into the thrall of his illness.
His advice for people who are struggling with disordered eating is to realise that even though full recovery is possible, the road towards it can feel hopeless and never-ending.
‘Life is better when you have recovered, but the process will feel hard and uncomfortable because your eating disorder is being challenged.’
‘Listing out and looking at the internal reasons why recovery was important to me really helped.’
The dietitian urged people to ask themselves: ‘Why do you want to recover? What will be better? What is your disorder taking away that you’re not willing to live without?’
‘Perfectionists can often feel like they need to achieve everything at once, but it’s definitely a step by step process.’
Alex is also a recovery mentor at River Oak Health in Queensland where he helps patients with the use of dietetics, psychology, and art therapy.
Alex’s advice for people who are struggling with disordered eating is to realise that even though full recovery is possible, the road towards it can feel hopeless and never-ending
Alex is extremely mindful of how disordered eating was perceived in popular consciousness.
‘Society stereotypes eating disorders to be limited to thin white women,’ the professional nutritionist explained.
‘While that form does exist and is deserving of help, it minimises the experiences of people who do not meet that presentation.’
The dietitian emphasised that marginalised groups – men among them – were often dismissed and invalidated.
‘A lot of popular culture reinforces disordered eating and exercise, but it’s not normal at all. I remember missing out of social events and turning down food from my friends and family because it wasn’t in line with how I thought I needed to eat.’
‘Men aren’t expected to have eating disorders, which is why many of us dismiss genuine concerns and unhealthy behaviours.’
Alex is also a recovery mentor at River Oak Health in Queensland where he helps patients with the use of dietetics, psychology, and art therapy
Alex also revealed a surprising correlation between people with disordered eating and those who study nutrition.
‘It’s really difficult, because I’ve seen so many people who are so preoccupied with food that they become nutritionists,’ he said.
‘But it’s a double edged sword – when people start their degrees and become so obsessed with the content material that they develop eating disorders.’
Alex’s keen interest in biology and science – and desire to help people – is what originally inspired him to go into the profession, but a part of his decision went back to his preoccupation with food.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, contact the Butterfly Foundation on 1800 33 4673. Talk to someone now.
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