Amanda Kloots has continued to be open and honest with her followers on social media after losing her husband, Nick Cordero, last week to COVID-19 complications.
And the actress opened up to her followers about how ‘scared’ she was regarding her ‘new normal,’ on Sunday morning.
The 38-year-old said she held a beautiful small memorial service for her late husband on Saturday evening and was ‘hit hard’ when one of their favorite songs played.
Opening up: Amanda Kloots took to social media on Sunday where she confessed that she was ‘scared of her new normal’ following the death of her husband, Nick Cordero
‘We had a small memorial yesterday with close family and friends,’ she began the lengthy post.
‘I said, “Nick would have wanted this to be a celebration. Let’s try to laugh, share great stories and sing for him and to his memory.” He would have loved it. It was beautiful and perfect. His spirit was definitely there.’
Amanda went on to share that she was ‘hit hard’ when the son, I’m Here, from the Broadway show, The Color Purple, played.
For Nick: ‘I said, “Nick would have wanted this to be a celebration. Let’s try to laugh, share great stories and sing for him and to his memory.” He would have loved it. It was beautiful and perfect. His spirit was definitely there’
Truth: ‘Truly, I am scared. Scared of my new normal, of the pain, the loss and being strong enough to get through it. But, I know Nick is up above routing for me, believing in me and hoping for me’
‘We listened to the song, I’m Here, from The Color Purple. Nick and I saw this show on Broadway years ago and we left the theater in tears, speechless,’ she penned.
‘As it was being played last night the lyrics in the second half of the song hit me hard.’
‘Truly, I am scared. Scared of my new normal, of the pain, the loss and being strong enough to get through it. But, I know Nick is up above routing for me, believing in me and hoping for me.’
She continued: ‘He wants me to LIVE this new life and he wants me to be the best version of myself for our son.’
‘I promised him in the hospital that I would try to do that. So, when I heard these lyrics yesterday I thought, “Ok. When I’m doubting if I can get through this, I’m playing this song. It will be my motto.”
Matching! And the happiness continued for the mother-son-duo, sporting matching pajamas on Sunday morning
Amanda added: ‘This is a long journey ahead and a down road I never thought I’d be on. No one can tell me how to do it, I have to do it. I may do things right, I may do them wrong. There isn’t a perfect way. One day, one step at a time. I have faith that God is leading the way and that Nick is our angel.’
The beauty’s post saw her stun in a peach colored floral dress with her son, Elvis, one, siting on her shoulders.
Elvis was dressed in a blue checkered shirt and appeared in high spirits while outside with his mom.
And the happiness continued for the mother-son-duo, sporting matching pajamas on Sunday morning.
Thursday saw Amanda recount a moving story from earlier in the day about her son Elvis, one, as he dealt with the absence of his father.
Remembering him: Amanda Kloots gave her Instagram followers an update on how her family was doing since her husband Nick Cordero’s death and revealed that Elvis, one, was obsessed with videos of his dad
Amanda embraced the positives, telling fans how ‘good’ it felt to see her adorable one-year-old recognize his dad and kissed his image while an old video looped on mom’s phone.
‘So you guys, I have to tell you the cutest story,’ Amanda began in a video posted to her Insta Stories.
‘I was showing Elvis videos of Nick, and this one video was Nick talking, like leaving a voicemail message for a friend, but he had it saved on his phone,’ she explained.
‘And Elvis saw it and smiled and — I’m not even kidding you — leans in to the phone to give his dad a kiss, and then kept going.
‘I kept playing the video again and he kept trying to press the button, and he just kept going in and out, kissing the phone and kissing his dad,’ she said, as she moved her face back and forth to demonstrate.
Sweet: ‘I was showing Elvis videos of Nick, and this one video was Nick talking, like leaving a voicemail message for a friend, but he had it saved on his phone,’ she explained
Getting close: ‘And Elvis saw it and smiled and — I’m not even kidding you — leans in to the phone to give his dad a kiss, and then kept going,’ she said, demonstrating his kiss
Bittersweet: ‘My heart, of course, just melted, but in a way, it just made me feel so good because it made me feel like he recognizes Nick. He knows who he is and he recognizes his dad, even though it’s been over three months,’ she concluded abruptly
‘My heart, of course, just melted, but in a way, it just made me feel so good because it made me feel like he recognizes Nick. He knows who he is and he recognizes his dad, even though it’s been over three months,’ she concluded abruptly.
As if to prove that the bittersweet moment happened, Amanda included another video in her Insta Stories of Elvis totally absorbed in a video his father.
The short clip was a personal message he recorded to fans after releasing his song Live Your Life, which Amanda performed every day at 3 p.m. as he battled the fallout from COVID-19 from the ICU at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Beverly Hills.
‘A big thank you to those of you who have purchased or streamed my song Live Your Life,’ he said while walking outside in chilly weather.
Before he continued, Elvis fast forwarded through the video before flipping to another.
‘Can you give da-da a kiss?’ Amanda asked off screen, though her son wasn’t up for it at the moment.
Heartbreaking: As if to prove that the bittersweet moment happened, Amanda included another video in her Insta Stories of Elvis totally absorbed in a video his father
Significant message: The short clip was a message he recorded to fans after releasing his song Live Your Life, which Amanda sang every day at 3 p.m. as he battled the fallout from COVID-19
Staying positive: Despite the bittersweet anecdote, Amanda was doing her best to get back into her regular routines and keep her mood up
Despite the bittersweet anecdote, Amanda was doing her best to get back into her regular routines and keep her mood up.
She flashed a soft smile earlier in the day with a selfie of herself glistening with sweat after a workout session devoted to jumping for ’10 min a day.’
Nick died on Sunday at age 41 after spending 94 days in the hospital.
‘I’m heartbroken,’ Amanda told People magazine three days after his death.
‘As a husband I don’t think a day went by that he didn’t say to me, “I’m the luckiest.” Words can’t describe how much I will miss him, his presence, his voice.’
She continued: ‘My husband was a very special man. He was everyone’s friend. We taught each other things, challenging each other to grow. We loved to sing and dance wherever we were.’
Saying goodbye: ‘I’m heartbroken,’ Amanda told People magazine three days after Nick’s death on Sunday at 41. He had been in the ICU for 94 days; shown in August 2019
‘Just looking at him doing the simplest things would bring a smile to my face,’ the actress and fitness entrepreneur said.
Shortly before his death, Amanda said she planned to refinance their home in Los Angeles to cover the hospital bills which had already begun to stream in.
But the generosity of Nick’s fans and close friends like Zach Braff may help her cover the expenses.
As of Thursday, a GoFundMe set up to cover Nick’s medical bills had reached over $1 million, more than double the original $480,000 goal.
Cordero entered the hospital due to his coronavirus infection almost a month prior, on March 31st.
Helping hand: A GoFundMe organized to pay Nick’s medical bills more than doubled its goal with over $1 million in donations; Amanda pictured singing a final teary tribute to Nick
Nick was unconscious when he was first hospitalized, and he was initially mis-diagnosed with pneumonia.
The Waitress star later tested positive for the novel coronavirus, on April 1st.
From there Nick’s battle went from one complication to the next, as he was placed on a ventilator and experienced blood clot issues which eventually led to the amputation of his right leg.
He also received a temporary pacemaker, and entered a medically-induced coma.
Over the last few months, Nick was able to come off the ventilator and wake up from his coma, but the infection left his body and lungs so weak that he was never fully able to bounce back.
Cordero’s death was first announced by his wife in a heartbreaking post on Instagram on Sunday.
‘We are heartbroken to update this account to a memorial,’ the GoFundMe page, which was created on April 18th, now reads; Nick seen on his wife’s Instagram in an undated photo
In spite of it all: Nick’s wife Amanda remained a beacon of positivity, keeping her Instagram followers informed of his stop-and-start progress every step of the way
‘God has another angel in heaven now. My darling husband passed away this morning. He was surrounded in love by his family, singing and praying as he gently left this earth,’ she wrote.
‘I am in disbelief and hurting everywhere. My heart is broken as I cannot imagine our lives without him. Nick was such a bright light.’
Amanda explained that Nick was ‘was everyone’s friend, loved to listen, help and especially talk’ and that he was ‘an incredible actor and musician.’
‘He loved his family and loved being a father and husband. Elvis and I will miss him in everything we do, everyday,’ said Kloots.
She went on to thank the medical team that aided her husband in his tumultuous months-long health battle.
Tragic: Cordero’s death was announced by his wife in a heartbreaking post on Instagram on Sunday; seen together in June 2017
‘To Nick’s extraordinary doctor, Dr. David Ng, you were my positive doctor! There are not many doctors like you. Kind, smart, compassionate, assertive and always eager to listen to my crazy ideas or call yet another doctor for me for a second opinion. You’re a diamond in the rough.⠀
‘I cannot begin to thank everyone enough for the outpouring of love, support and help we’ve received these last 95 days. You have no idea how much you lifted my spirits at 3pm everyday as the world sang Nicks song, Live Your Life. We sang it to him today, holding his hands.
‘As I sang the last line to him, “they’ll give you hell but don’t you let them kill your light not without a fight. Live your life,” I smiled because he definitely put up a fight. I will love you forever and always my sweet man,’ Kloots concluded.