In 2017, more than $20million worth of romance scams were reported through the ACCC website, Scam Watch.
But according to Australian dating expert Louanne Ward, this is merely the tip of the iceberg.
After two decades in the industry, Ms Ward has been approached by romance scammers herself and met men and women who have been swept up into a scheme and lost thousands – even millions – of dollars.
‘Worldwide these scams result in the loss of billions of dollars and often victims are too ashamed and embarrassed to come forward and share their loss, humiliation and broken heart,’ Ms Ward told FEMAIL.
After two decades in the dating industry, Louanne Ward has both been approached by romance scammers herself and met many who have been swept up into a scam
‘It’s time for the unsuspecting lonely heart to sharpen their wits and awareness before more Australians follow suit and fall victim to the highly orchestrated love con.’
While many in the online space are now educated about these scams, there is a new breed of scammer and they are targeting unsuspecting women through social media.
Social media has now overtaken online dating sites and are now the most common way for romance scammers to connect with their prey.
Social media has now overtaken online dating sites and are now the most common way for romance scammers to connect with their prey
WHAT SHOULD YOU LOOK OUT FOR?
According to Ms Ward, different apps will attract a slightly different entry point but the format is very similar.
‘You will either receive a friend request or message request. Like many self-aware and intelligent people, you check the profile which always looks almost too good to be true,’ Ms Ward said.
‘The men may be presented as doctors, surgeons, people working in high end construction, CEOs, pilots or decorated soldiers and other military workers.
‘Women pose as teachers, nurses, mature aged students with a child, or women in caring based jobs.’
Once the request is accepted, the predator will message, usually, between one to five hours and say they have a high earning or impressive job
Ms Ward said neither sex will ‘necessarily be above average in looks’.
‘Some women may be super good looking but typically just the girl next door – wholesome and pretty. Men will be handsome, fit, well groomed and masculine,’ she said.
‘The men almost always present as men of financial means and worth. The photos are normally high quality and paint a picture.’
Once the request is accepted, the predator will message, usually, between one to five hours.
‘You will receive a thank you, a compliment and a question or two. If they connect through Facebook you’ll often wonder why they ask what country you are from when the information is already there,’ Ms Ward said.
IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE
Australian woman Susan*, an attractive lady in her early 50s, recently encountered a scammer through dating site, Elite Singles.
She was married for 26 years before her marriage ended and decided to join the dating site 18 months on.
Susan connected with a ‘really amazing guy’ by the name of ‘David’ who claimed to be a 50-year-old working professional.
The dashing gentleman claimed to be working overseas but planned to return to Australia on a new work contract.
Australian woman Susan*, an attractive lady in her early 50s, recently encountered a scammer through dating site, Elite Singles, who after getting close to her, suddenly needed money
As time went on and they became closer, he messaged Susan the weekend before he was due to ‘arrive back’ in the country with a request.
He said he did not ‘have the money’ to allow him to return, asked Susan for help and requested she transfer money into his lawyer’s ‘Bulgarian bank account’.
Thankfully, after discussing this exchange with friends and family, Susan clued on and was able to report it to the ACCC before any money was transferred.
Sadly, she is one of the few lucky ones.
He said he did not ‘have the money’ to allow him to return, asked Susan for help and requested she transfer money into his lawyer’s ‘Bulgarian bank account’
Thankfully, after discussing this exchange with friends and family, Susan clued on and was able to report it to the ACCC before any money was transferred
In October, 2017, 64-year-old Patricia Meister, from Queensland, revealed to FEMAIL that she had been swindled out of $100,000 after falling for a man she’d never met.
Ms Meister struck up an online relationship with who she thought was a dashing middle-aged businessman after he sent her a friend request on Facebook in 2015.
She revealed the moment she fell head over heels in love, before discovering her Italian lover named ‘Carlos’ was a Nigerian fraudster.
‘After I accused him of being a scammer, he ended our conversation with: “Catch me if you can, my dear”,’ she recalled.
‘I know I’ll never get my money back but all you can do is raise awareness. There’s a lot of lonely people out there, the dating websites are riddled with scammers.’
In October, 2017, 64-year-old Patricia Meister, from Queensland, revealed to FEMAIL that she had been swindled out of $100,000 after falling for a man she’d never met
‘After I accused him of being a scammer, he ended our conversation with: “Catch me if you can, my dear”,’ she recalled
THE RED FLAGS
Ms Ward said scammers will ‘innocently’ connect with their target and say they are ‘looking for an old friend or schoolmate’, came across their page/profile and instantly felt ‘drawn’ to them.
‘Their Facebook/Instagram/LinkedIn profile might look legitimate, they don’t necessarily know you’re single so your guard is down,’ she said.
‘What each individual scammer wants may be different but ultimately they will take anything they can get. Your identity, photos, videos, words, heart and money – they really have no limits. What you must be aware of is scammers have no boundaries.’
Soon after there is mutual engagement, the scammers will often tell a pre-written or predetermined emotionally heartfelt story.
Ms Ward said scammers will ‘innocently’ connect with their target and say they are ‘looking for an old friend or schoolmate’, came across their page/profile and instantly felt ‘drawn’ to them
‘Women are the easier targets as they are more compassionate and empathetic by nature. It’s very common for the scammer to pose as a widower or widow with a tragic tale, how it’s just them and their only child,’ Ms Ward said.
‘They will often say the wife died during childbirth or was killed in a car accident.’
Ms Ward said most often they will include links to the country their target is in by saying their parents lived there or they have family connections.
They will also claim to be in high profile jobs, highly educated or studying.
‘It’s sometimes hard to spot a scammer until you start making links. What part of the story both visual or written has holes?’ Ms Ward said.
This man reached out to a woman on social media and began trying to call her on Messenger
‘These self proclaimed educated Westerners suddenly have poor grammar and commonly the i’s are in lowercase not Capitals and overtime there are repeated questions or stories.’
Ms Ward said scammers also often work in groups and work in shifts where most communications are scripted.
‘They will spend weeks months and years building trust and creating deeper feelings. Even though you might call them up on their little mistakes they always have an excuse,’ she said.
‘Women above 45 are more likely to be targeted – especially those who are most vulnerable and going through separation, divorce, death or the loss of a job.’
‘Words create a deep and stronger connection even more so than physical relationships. They present themselves as the perfect mate therefore the feeling of attachment is intensified,’ Ms Ward said
THE POINT OF NO RETURN
The main thing many people question is how seemingly intelligent men and women fall for a scam.
‘The perpetrator holds all the cards they send messages targeted to keep the victim invested. They select carefully chosen content based on what the victim shares on social media,’ Ms Ward said.
‘Psychologically manipulated by reading premeditated messages, the victim becomes even more attached as the predator plays the role and throws out the bait.
‘Words create a deep and stronger connection even more so than physical relationships. They present themselves as the perfect mate therefore the feeling of attachment is intensified.
‘As the trust and intimacy build so does the desire to want to build a future and the point of no return is reached even though your head may suspect, your heart is too far gone.
If you think you have been scammed, report it to the website, app, or social media site where the scammer first approached you. Let them know the scammer’s profile name and any other details that may help them to stop others being scammed.
If you think you have provided your account details to a scammer, contact your bank or financial institution immediately.
Report scams to the ACCC via the report a scam page. This helps them warn people about current scams, monitor trends and disrupt scams where possible. Please include details of the scam contact you received, for example, email or screenshot.
*Name is changed