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Bondi psychologists reveal psychology behind the ‘ick’ feeling when dating

The surprising truth about getting ‘the ick’ when dating – and why it might say more about YOU than the person you’re turned off

  • The real reason for getting ‘the ick’ with a partner has been revealed
  • ‘The ick’ is an irreversible feeling of disgust that leads you to end the relationship
  • Typically triggered in an instant by witnessing some kind of turn-off behaviour
  • But psychologists say it’s a self-defense mechanism that says more about you


The real reason for getting ‘the ick’ with a romantic partner has been revealed – and psychologists warn it could say more about you than the person you’re turned off.

Experts from Bondi psychology practice Mind Matters weighed in on the infamous deal breaker, which is best described as a sudden but irreversible feeling of disgust towards a romantic interest that leads you to end the relationship.

Typically triggered in an instant after witnessing some kind of turn-off behaviour, ‘the ick’ flips physical attraction to revulsion with an obnoxious laugh, a crude remark or off-putting eating.

The real reason for getting ‘the ick’ with a romantic partner has been revealed – and psychologists warn it could say more about you than the person you’re turned off

But psychologists say the phenomenon is often a self-defence mechanism to protect against rejection, fear of intimacy or commitment, and relationship failure.

‘Most of us want to feel safe with a partner, to trust them, have open communication and share interests.’ the post says.

‘However, if an unexpected behaviour is suddenly turning you off, ask yourself what might be happening for you?’

Relationship counsellors explain that attraction is a ‘flip flop phenomenon’, where something that attracts you to someone today can be the very thing that repulses you tomorrow.

Traits take on different meanings as a partnership progresses in that people who you initially find to be fun and carefree can often turn out to be irresponsible and reckless in more important situations.

But experts warn sudden reactions of disgust like ‘the ick’ that appear ‘out of the blue’ often have explanations that run deeper.

Certain behaviours may trigger a long-term unresolved issue for you or reflect a challenge in your life that is causing you subconscious stress. 

Relationship counsellors explain that attraction is a 'flip flop phenomenon', where something that attracts you to someone today can be the very thing that repulses you tomorrow

Relationship counsellors explain that attraction is a ‘flip flop phenomenon’, where something that attracts you to someone today can be the very thing that repulses you tomorrow

Seven ‘just not that into you’ relationship red flags 

* Spending a lot of time on their phone

* Never making plans to meet

* Never asking questions about you or your life

* Avoiding introducing you to friends 

* Always saying they are busy 

* Failure to hold eye contact

* A niggling doubt or gut feeling that something isn’t quite right 

If you find yourself suddenly getting ‘the ick’ on a regular basis, psychologists say it’s best to stop and ask yourself if you are protecting yourself against an apparent red flag.

‘”The ick” isn’t always triggered by tiny things, it could be red flag behaviours like being rude to waitstaff or constantly talking over you,’ the post explains.

‘Or are we getting “the ick” because we’re engaging in self-sabotage, and in turn, undermining our chances of a successful intimate engagement?’

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk