Woman, 22, whose ‘completely smitten’ boyfriend reads all her texts and tells her she’s ‘more attractive’ when she stays in with him is warned to ‘run and don’t look back’
- Woman expresses concern that she is in a controlling relationship on Mumsnet
- The 22-year-old, from England, has been with her boyfriend for seven months
- Responses to the post warned of multiple ‘red flags’ and to leave the relationship
A woman expresses concern that she is in a controlling relationship after revealing her boyfriend reads her texts and tells her she is more attractive by staying in with him.
Posting anonymously on British parenting site Mumsnet, the 22-year-old revealed that her boyfriend of seven months, who is also 22, has been ‘completely smitten’ with her since they met.
The woman, who lives in England, said her boyfriend accepted her sociable university lifestyle yet has started showing ‘controlling signs’ in the past few months including telling her that certain outfits make him feel ‘uncomfortable’.
She said he becomes ‘extremely jealous’ when a male friend is mentioned as well as warning that her best friend is a ‘bad influence’ on her.
The woman, who lives in England, said her boyfriend accepted her social university lifestyle yet has begun showing ‘controlling signs’ (file image)
Responses to the post warned that she should not be ‘guilt-tripped’ as many agreed that the safest option would be to leave the relationship.
The woman said that her concern comes from experience of previous controlling relationships but admitted that her boyfriend does so much for her.
However many advised the woman to ‘break away’ and directed her to seek expert relationship advice from resources such as Women’s Aid.
One person wrote: ‘Please don’t waste any more of your life on someone like this. He may say different but someone who cares about you does not treat you this way.
The 22-year-old revealed that her boyfriend of seven months, who is also 22, has been ‘completely smitten’ with her since they met
They continued: ‘There will come a time when you will be happier staying at home but that should be your choice. I stayed with someone from 20 to 34 who didn’t treat me properly and always had to be his way.
‘I left 14 years after doubting I was making the right decision. I only wish I had done it years sooner!’
Many warned of ‘red flags’ including the boyfriend joking that she has been unfaithful and telling her not to talk about their relationship with her friends.
Many warned of ‘red flags’ including the boyfriend joking that she has been unfaithful and telling her not to talk about their relationship with her friends
Another posted: ‘You’re posting on here because your instincts are telling you loud and clear that this man is bad news.
‘He’s very controlling – imagine what your life would be like if you lived and behaved the way he wants you to.
‘Listen to your instincts and get rid. Trust me, you can do so much better.’
The woman also described how her boyfriend doesn’t have a close relationship with any friends or family and would rather stay in to eat rather than going out.
Responses to the post warned that she should not be ‘guilt-tripped’ as many agreed that the safest option would be to leave the relationship
A third added: All the ‘nice things’ he does for you are just to keep you on a tight rein.
‘For example, he will take you out for food so that it’s one less opportunity for you to go out with your friends and helping you with things so you don’t seek help from anyone else etc.
‘I bet he also tells you he thinks you look better with no makeup on and probably openly questions why someone like you is with somebody like him so you reassure him.
‘He sounds absolutely controlling and awful. Get out now while you can. I promise he won’t change, it will only get worse. Run for the hills.’
For confidential support in the UK call the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or visit Refuge.