Heathers The Musical
Theatre Royal Haymarket, London Until Nov 24, 2hrs 30mins
Perished with Ken Dodd is his most ancient joke: ‘How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake…’
That now verboten gag is in the spirit of Heathers, a high-school musical that deals in fat-shaming, bullying, teen suicide, sexual assault, bulimia, bombings and school shootings.
This show is based on the cult 1988 film, a sick, brilliantly off-kilter teen comedy that got away with it in the days before the Columbine massacre.
Based on the 1988 cult film, Heathers is a high-school musical that deals in everything from bullying to bulimia. Above: T’Shan Williams, Jodie Steele, Sophie Isaacs & Carrie Hope Fletcher
This singing version, directed by Andy Fickman, is a slightly more wholesome affair – with music and lyrics by Kevin Murphy and Laurence O’Keefe.
Weirdly, the audience for this is made up of twentysomethings who’ve probably never heard of the film. They whoop and big-up their adored star, Carrie Hope Fletcher, a former Eponine in Les Misérables and a YouTube celeb.
Fletcher plays, winningly, Veronica (the Winona Ryder part in the film), who attempts to be somebody by trying to join the three harpies (all called Heather) who rule the school with sneering cruelty and big Eighties hair.
Fletcher (above with the charismatic Jamie Muscato as JD) winningly plays Veronica who attempts to be somebody by trying to join the three harpies who rule the school
She finds that if you can’t join them, then why not kill them?
Her partner in revenge is JD, the too-cool-for-school drifter, played by the young Christian Slater on screen and here by the lean, charismatic Jamie Muscato. ‘I didn’t catch your name,’ says Veronica in the canteen. ‘I didn’t throw it,’ he replies, with a Jack Nicholson drawl.
Jodie Steele vamps it up as the alpha Heather, though in this version she returns from the dead.
This stage version is admirably impatient with the callousness the film depicts and is met with noisy rapture from youngsters who clearly find their reflection in it
The best song is a hymn to the two bullying, moronic football jocks. Their joint funeral is the occasion for their fathers to duet in My Dead Gay Son, a number worthy of The Book Of Mormon.
Gone, though, is the film’s unsettling morbidity and all vestiges of its moody score.
But this stage version of the film is admirably impatient with the callousness it depicts. It’s met with noisy rapture from youngsters who clearly find their reflection in it. For them, if not me, it’s a banging five-star night out.
Holy Sh!t
Kiln Theatre, London Until Oct 6, 2hrs 15mins
Rating: 
Local protesters picketed the opening night of this rebuilt north London theatre. They were furious (justifiably in my view) about the change of name of their cherished theatre, formerly the Tricycle. It is now, after a two-year closure, to be known as the Kiln — a potty, meaningless rebrand.
If the £7 million makeover ever burns down, it won’t show: the walls are already covered in fashionably charred planking.
The sight lines and seats (£10-£32.50) are much improved, but whether the beery, local spirit of the old Trike can live on in this achingly hipster environment is another matter.
Alexis Zegerman’s middle-class comedy is the opening show for the newly refurbished and re-named Tricycle theatre in North London. Above: Daon Broni and Daniel Lapaine
Artistic director Indhu Rubasingham’s opening show is Alexis Zegerman’s middle-class comedy about two London couples cheating the system to get their respective four-year-olds into the local free Church of England school.
A better title would have been ‘Can’t Pay? Won’t Pray!’
One couple is atheist Jewish; the other Christian and thus more entitled to a place.
Friendship turns to foaming fury. There are sharp performances, notably from Dorothea Myer-Bennett as the Jewish mum Simone, and Claire Goose as her friend. Their spoilt tots remain off-stage.
A chucklesome start for a venue that needs all the goodwill it can get.
The Humans
Hampstead Theatre, London Until Oct 13, 1hr 35mins
Rating: 
This absorbing, slow-burning family drama comes from America, trailing four Tony awards and with it the original US cast and director, Joe Mantello.
Which explains the almost improvised quality, the detailed authenticity and conviction of all on stage.
It’s Thanksgiving in a slightly tatty New York Chinatown duplex, where Brigid and Rich are moving in, much to the puzzlement of her out-of-town family, who arrive with care packages to celebrate.
Stephen Karam’s award-winning family drama arrives from the US with its original cast: Arian Moayed, Cassie Beck, Jayne Houdyshell, Lauren Klein, Sarah Steele and Reed Birney (above)
But what have these people to give thanks for, asks this deft piece by Stephen Karam.
There’s catching-up on the gossip back home, some gentle teasing that turns to something more pointed, and cracks and anxieties emerge through the stories and memories shared.
The two-level set becomes a metaphor for what is on the surface and what lurks beneath.
The story is set during Thanksgiving at a tatty New York Chinatown duplex where Brigid and Rich (Sarah Steele and Arian Moayed, above) are moving in, to the puzzlement of her family
Lawyer sister Aimee has separated from her wife, become ill and lost her job; wheelchair-bound Grandma is increasingly demented; mum Deirdre (a comically beady performance by Jayne Houdyshell) carps away and father Erik is not sleeping (the reason comes out later).
The weight of such pressures on these ordinary folk starts to turn the screw. Erik’s remark: ‘If you are so miserable, why are you trying to live for ever?’ strikes a comic note (and there are many) but is also the cry of ground-down people losing sight of the American Dream.
Attempts by Karam to introduce a supernatural element don’t really work and this all may not amount to anything monumental – no real resolution is offered yet no matter – but it’s still a classy, understated piece of theatre.
Mark Cook
The Lovely Bones 1hr 40mins
Royal & Derngate, Northampton Until Sat, touring until Nov 17
Rating:
Alice Sebold’s novel was a global bestseller in 2002, though Peter Jackson’s film version was rather less successful.
Now Bryony Lavery – whose play Frozen deals with similar themes – has adapted it for the stage.
Not an easy gig, this, trying to mash into 100 minutes the many-stranded narrative surrounding the rape and murder of a 14-year-old girl and how she watches from heaven as her family and friends try to move on with their lives.
A spirited Charlotte Beaumont plays Susie with Keith Dunphy (above with Beaumont) her killer Mr Harvey but this adaptation of Alice Sebold’s best-selling novel is ultimately unsuccessful
As Susie (a spirited Charlotte Beaumont) vents her frustration at being unable to control events, her father becomes fixated on catching the clearly creepy killer, her mother seeks solace in the arms of the detective and her sister moves on to the sexual awakening Susie was denied.
Melly Still’s production thankfully avoids American schmaltz and doesn’t pull punches over the nature of Susie’s death, but visually it’s messy.
Grief of all kinds is central here and too often the drama’s emotional heft is diminished by visual trickery.
A slanted mirror over the stage creates some striking images but the theatricality, though sometimes imaginative, is often distracting.
Mark Cook