Chess review: A galumphing mess

Chess

London Coliseum                                                        Until Jun 2         2hrs 45mins

Rating:

This 1986 show by Abba boys Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus, with lyrics by Tim Rice, has never really worked except as a concept album. Partly because, as Benny recently admitted, chess is just so boring to watch.

This production squeezes nothing new from the show’s laborious musical metaphor about the moral stalemate of the Cold War. 

You get, however, English National Opera’s chorus and a full orchestra, plus a power cast including Michael Ball as Russian chess master Anatoly, Tim Howar as his foul-tempered Russophobic American rival Freddie, and Cassidy Janson (so good as Carole King in Beautiful) as Florence – the Elaine Paige role in the original — whose heart defects from Freddie to Anatoly.

The power cast includes Michael Ball (above) as Russian chess master Anatoly, Tim Howar as his foul-tempered Russophobic American rival Freddie, and Cassidy Janson  as Florence

The power cast includes Michael Ball (above) as Russian chess master Anatoly, Tim Howar as his foul-tempered Russophobic American rival Freddie, and Cassidy Janson as Florence

Phillip Browne provides some evil bass notes as Molokov, the sinister KGB agent, and Alexandra Burke plays Anatoly’s wife Svetlana – the best sung part, even if she’s short of stuff to sing.

Anthem is Ball’s big Act One closer and Howar gets to sing the agonising Pity The Child (you need very tight trousers to hit those notes).

Rice’s pithy lyrics are inaudible and horrible stadium video projections turn the actors into giants so that you can see mid-warble what they had for tea

Rice’s pithy lyrics are inaudible and horrible stadium video projections turn the actors into giants so that you can see mid-warble what they had for tea

Alexandra Burke (above) plays Anatoly’s wife Svetlana – the best sung part, even if she’s short of stuff to sing

Alexandra Burke (above) plays Anatoly’s wife Svetlana – the best sung part, even if she’s short of stuff to sing

The big chart-toppers are One Night In Bangkok and the beautiful female duet I Know Him So Well.

But real emotion takes an early bath in this version, done in Eighties costumes and wigs.

Rice’s pithy lyrics are inaudible and horrible stadium video projections turn the actors into giants so that you can see mid-warble what they had for tea.

Chess has a great score and this has a good cast. But it’s a galumphing mess. Abba fans are better off saving their cash for the rumoured reunion tour, if it ever happens.

 

Present Laughter

Chichester Festival Theatre                                 Until Sat             2hrs 40mins

Rating:

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade,’ said Noël Coward. But spread it is here, thick and chunky, in a shouty production that never lets up.

Rufus Hound stars as Garry Essendine (his surname is an anagram of neediness), a self-obsessed thesp tottering insecurely on the cusp of middle age. 

The part was written in 1939 by Coward as a bravura role for himself to indulge in some light self-mockery in a silk dressing gown.

Tracy-Ann Oberman (above) is at least quiet as Garry’s secretary. Katherine Kingsley, as his wife, has a knowing air, as if she’s concluded that her  husband should have married a man

Tracy-Ann Oberman (above) is at least quiet as Garry’s secretary. Katherine Kingsley, as his wife, has a knowing air, as if she’s concluded that her husband should have married a man

Rufus Hound (above) stars as Garry Essendine (his surname is an anagram of neediness), a self-obsessed thesp tottering insecurely on the cusp of middle age

Rufus Hound (above) stars as Garry Essendine (his surname is an anagram of neediness), a self-obsessed thesp tottering insecurely on the cusp of middle age

Here, Sean Foley’s direction attempts to do the play as ‘Carry On Coward’ with funny walks, braying laughs and zero restraint. Hound mugs, blubs and chews the scenery but he never nails his best lines.

Tracy-Ann Oberman is at least quiet as Garry’s loyal secretary. Katherine Kingsley, as his estranged wife, has a knowing air, as if she’s concluded that her Coward-like husband should have married a man.

As the vampy seductress, Lucy Briggs-Owen looks stunning in a black gown and knows how to smoke a cigarette. But mostly the evening is a crass embarrassment.

Robert Gore-Langton 

 

Absolute Hell

Lyttelton stage, National Theatre, London              Until Jun 16            3hrs

Rating:

Rodney Ackland’s play – set in a Soho drinking club on the eve of the 1945 General Election – was considered a frightful orgy of filth when first staged in 1952. 

The club’s degenerate members, who can barely stand up, include a gay writer on his uppers, a fat lesbian critic, a sozzled artist and assorted soldiers and prostitutes, all flirting under the purview of big-hearted club owner Christine.

Rodney Ackland’s play – set in a Soho drinking club on the eve of the 1945 General Election – was considered a frightful orgy of filth when first staged in 1952. Above: Liza Sadovy

Rodney Ackland’s play – set in a Soho drinking club on the eve of the 1945 General Election – was considered a frightful orgy of filth when first staged in 1952. Above: Liza Sadovy

It’s a squiffy, intermittently funny evening, which feels like the neglected Ackland’s revenge on a secretly gay theatre establishment that hypocritically crushed any honest stage depiction of homosexuality. 

But is it even a proper play? It struck me as just three hours of camping, bitching and boozing. To call the piece even a minor classic seems generous.

Robert Gore-Langton

 

Mood Music

The Old Vic, London                                              Until Jun 16             2hrs 5mins 

Rating:

In this new play from Sunny Afternoon writer Joe Penhall, musician Cat and her hotshot producer Bernard are locked in a legal battle over who owns a hit song. 

They recount their woes in parallel to, naturally, their respective psychotherapists, although occasionally the patients break this format to jokily chide one another. So far, so showbiz.

Ben Chaplin is a scene-stealer as control-freak Bernard and Seána Kerslake (above, with Chaplin) oozes energy and intelligence as Cat but the play lacks momentum

Ben Chaplin is a scene-stealer as control-freak Bernard and Seána Kerslake (above, with Chaplin) oozes energy and intelligence as Cat but the play lacks momentum

But flashbacks to toxic rehearsals mark out Bernard as a manipulative bully. 

Then it transpires that after passing out on tour in a drunken stupor, Cat was hauled, unconscious and semi-naked, out of bed and on to a plane to be carted off to the next gig. He’s exploited more than her music. 

Ben Chaplin is a scene-stealer as twitchy control-freak Bernard and Seána Kerslake oozes energy and intelligence as Cat. But their performances can’t conceal the play’s dearth of momentum. 

The action is barely more than a series of soul-searching exchanges between the duo and their shrinks and lawyers. These volleys wear thin after two hours, never reaching a climax or a convincing resolution.

And while the play has been lent a veneer of modernity by chiming with recent abuse-of-power revelations, its characterisation is backward. The witty one-liners go to the men while the women weepily fret about feelings.

Bernard describes one of Cat’s songs as so directionless it’s ‘like waiting for an egg to boil’. Almost the same could be said of this frustratingly one-note production.

Gwen Smith

 

The Moderate Soprano

Duke Of York’s Theatre, London                                 Until Jun 30             2hrs 

Rating:

This is a play about the creation of Glyndebourne, the Sussex country house where opera gets seriously posh. Deplored by many for its elitism, it remains a paradise for opera-lovers.

David Hare has written a most enjoyable account of its founder, Captain John Christie, a Great War veteran, and his wife Audrey.

Christie is irresistibly played by Roger Allam (so good in ITV’s Endeavour) as an overgrown schoolboy with a passion for Wagner and some eccentric dislikes: ‘Mozart is great… but is he any good?’ 

Aside from a vivid portrait of a marriage – Nancy Carroll gives Audrey a terrific pent-up passion — there’s also a heady whiff of idealism in the creation of a haven of musical joy in a world exploding in hate.

A touching, civilised and often funny evening with some of the best acting on the London stage.

Robert Gore-Langton 

 

 



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