Christina Aguilera admits she still feels ‘heavy amount of guilt’ about the grind of child stardom

Christina Aguilera has revealed she still feels guilty if she’s not pushing herself to keep working.

In a cover interview for the May issue of Health magazine, the 40-year-old hitmaker noted she’s been working since she was seven. 

‘When I’m not working, there’s a heavy amount of guilt that I feel. It’s been embedded in me since I was little—you’re shamed if you don’t want to keep up,’ she admitted.

‘As a child [entertainer], you’re all pitted against one another, and other children are all about that grind too. It’s a weird space to grow up in.’

She told the May issue of Health magazine she still feels 'guilt' stemming from child stardom

Issues: Christina Aguilera was 19 when she hit the big time with Genie In A Bottle in 1999 (pictured right) having started in showbiz at age seven. She told the May issue of Health magazine she still feels ‘guilt’ stemming from child stardom

The New York native joined The Mickey Mouse Club in 1994 and in 1998 she got her big break when she was chosen to record the theme song to the Disney movie Mulan titled reflection.

Her 1999 single  Genie In A Bottle catapulted her to stardom at the age of 19.

‘That grind is praised, but I think we’re all understanding that having moments to self-reflect and just breathe are crucial,’ Aguilera shared with Health. 

‘I have this massive trunk of old diaries that I’ve literally kept from the past 20 years of my life. I was able to catch up on them and do some self-reflecting. It really forced me to be silent and take a look at myself.’ 

Child stardom: The New York native joined The Mickey Mouse Club in 1994 at age 14 and described it as 'a grind' (pictured with Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and Ryan Gosling)

Child stardom: The New York native joined The Mickey Mouse Club in 1994 at age 14 and described it as ‘a grind’ (pictured with Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and Ryan Gosling)

'When I'm not working, there's a heavy amount of guilt that I feel. It's been embedded in me since I was little—you're shamed if you don't want to keep up,' Aguilera, 40, admitted

‘When I’m not working, there’s a heavy amount of guilt that I feel. It’s been embedded in me since I was little—you’re shamed if you don’t want to keep up,’ Aguilera, 40, admitted 

Aguilera also discussed the pain from her childhood: ‘I experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood—I’ve spoken very openly about it. But I think that was just part of my path. I’ve definitely had struggles in the past with depression and anxiety— it’s a constant battle to overcome a mind that is anxious, a mind that is always second-guessing.’

The singer also spoke about her love-hate relationship with her own body when she was younger.

‘Entering this business, I hated being super skinny,’ she said. ‘I have a hard time looking at the early pictures of myself because I remember feeling so insecure. I would never want to relive my 20s—you’re so in your own head and finding your confidence.’

When Christina turned 21-years-old, she ‘started filling out a little bit.’

The red carpet favorite said: ‘I was loving my new curves. I appreciated having a booty. I’ve always said that women are way more interesting to look at than men!’  

She then shared: ‘As you age, you stop comparing yourself to other people and start appreciating your own body and owning it.’  

Body issues: 'Entering this business, I hated being super skinny,' the hitmaker reflected in her interview with Health. Seen in 2000 at the VH1 Awards

Body issues: ‘Entering this business, I hated being super skinny,’ the hitmaker reflected in her interview with Health. Seen in 2000 at the VH1 Awards

The early Christina: 'I have a hard time looking at the early pictures of myself because I remember feeling so insecure. I would never want to relive my 20s—you're so in your own head and finding your confidence,' she admitted; seen in 2002

The early Christina: ‘I have a hard time looking at the early pictures of myself because I remember feeling so insecure. I would never want to relive my 20s—you’re so in your own head and finding your confidence,’ she admitted; seen in 2002

Siren: Aguilera said: 'I was loving my new curves. I appreciated having a booty. I've always said that women are way more interesting to look at than men!' The cover goes on sale April 17

Siren: Aguilera said: ‘I was loving my new curves. I appreciated having a booty. I’ve always said that women are way more interesting to look at than men!’ The cover goes on sale April 17

Aguilera has been topping the music charts and the voice of a generation for the past 20 years. 

But it’s only recently she’s come to accept herself, she shared. 

‘That is what beauty is really about. As much as I also love being a glam girl and playing dress-up for the camera, when it all comes off, that’s what’s ultimately most rewarding—being able to feel really good about who’s staring back at you in the mirror, because you’re owning all of it,’ shared the performer.

Her life has slowed down with the lockdown, giving her time for her beau Matthew Rutler and two kids Max and Summer.

And she said it has been a great time to be hunkered down.

‘I really got a moment to do little things, like be in my backyard, read books that had been on my to-read list, and go through my old diaries,’ said the chart topper.

Mom of two: Aguilera has been topping the music charts and the voice of a generation for the past 20 years. But it's only recently she's come to accept herself, she shared. Pictured with son Max

Mom of two: Aguilera has been topping the music charts and the voice of a generation for the past 20 years. But it’s only recently she’s come to accept herself, she shared. Pictured with son Max

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