CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night’s TV: Sandi throws Dragon Deborah to the wolves

Extraordinary Escapes At Christmas With Sandi Toksvig 

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Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby 

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Today, Dragons, I am looking for an investment of £1 million in exchange for 50 per cent of my revolutionary dental product, Wolfpaste.

No brush is needed. You just let a pack of wild wolves lick your teeth till they gleam.

Deborah Meaden would stump up the cash in a heartbeat. She was getting slobbery kisses from over-friendly Norwegian wolves and grinning in delight on Extraordinary Escapes At Christmas With Sandi Toksvig (C4).

It might look unhygienic. But Deborah revealed she’d once been kissed by Johnny Depp, which was much worse. The wolves probably had sweeter breath — they wouldn’t stink of ciggies and bourbon.

Sandi took three friends on Arctic adventures, each trip tailored to her guest’s interests. It turns out that celebs who are genuinely enjoying themselves make much better telly than ones who are politely pretending

Sandi took three friends on Arctic adventures, each trip tailored to her guest’s interests. It turns out that celebs who are genuinely enjoying themselves make much better telly than ones who are politely pretending.

For their wolf adventure, Deborah and Sandi stayed in a glass-walled lodge inside the world’s most northerly nature reserve. The perimeter is protected by a steel fence, though perhaps that’s to keep polar bears out.

It can’t be to keep the wolves in. They love it there. It’s a five-star lupine resort, with a non-stop smorgasbord of red meat and plenty of attentive visitors to supply tummy tickles and ear rubs.

All Sandi’s locations featured cabins with panoramic windows — whether that was to watch the northern lights, or to provide stunning views across fjords where orcas and humpback whales frolicked.

The Sky At Night’s Maggie Aderin-Pocock loved the vista. ‘It’s one of my dreams,’ she sighed happily, ‘being warm and snug, and being able to see the stars at the same time.’

Sandi looked slightly uncomfortable at the lack of privacy. Even the outdoor sauna had a glazed wall. But it was minus 24c outside. Any voyeurs would have to be very determined.

Actress Fay Ripley was treated to a ride in a speedboat to see a frozen waterfall. ‘I feel like a Bond girl,’ she yelped.

Sandi reckoned they’d be Pussy Fjord and Ivana Tinkle. 

‘I wanna take my bra off,’ shrieked Fay, now completely over-excited. 

‘I’ve got an urge!’ Roger Moore would have raised an eyebrow at that. Further south, but still in Scandinavia, the views from the windows in Copenhagen’s Tivoli Gardens were just as spectacular on Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby (BBC2).

I’ll never understand why a certain type of show-off insists on bragging about how much he dislikes things other people enjoy, as if in some inverted way this makes him superior. It doesn’t: it just makes him a bore

Giles Coren’s window overlooked a ballet stage — though, being a pompous tick, he had to protest that he didn’t enjoy ballet

Monica Galetti’s room at the Nimb Hotel looked out onto the theme park’s music stage, where Elton John has performed. That would be quite a thing to watch from your suite. Giles Coren’s window overlooked a ballet stage — though, being a pompous tick, he had to protest that he didn’t enjoy ballet.

I’ll never understand why a certain type of show-off insists on bragging about how much he dislikes things other people enjoy, as if in some inverted way this makes him superior. It doesn’t: it just makes him a bore.

Much of the hour was devoted to sampling the city’s more pretentious restaurants. But you’ll have to book. There’s a ten-year waiting list for Alchemist, where 50 courses of the tasting menu will set you back £1,300 a head.

For that, you get delicacies including a cod’s jaw wrapped in plastic, meat moulded into the shape of a human tongue and a lump of grey matter served in a skull. The lid comes off the head to reveal the filling.

‘You have to be open-minded,’ explained the concierge. The pun appeared unintentional.