Neil & Martin’s Bon Voyage (U&Gold)

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Badly behaved or not, most men never grow up. That’s why blokes are never insulted to be called ‘lads’ or ‘boys’ – but if a man refers to any woman over 21 as a ‘girl’, he’s a sexist pig.

Figureheads of the 1990s’ Lad Culture, Martin Clunes and Neil Morrissey were setting off to explore France in their boozy travelogue, Bon Voyage. ‘Can we still call it a lads’ road trip,’ mused Neil, ‘when we’re old enough to have a Freedom Pass?’

Of course they can. Neil is 62, Martin a year older, but they still think it’s hilarious to play with their food and make jokes about breaking wind.

It’s the same schtick that gave them national fame in Men Behaving Badly, writer Simon Nye’s comedy about two puerile layabouts sharing a London flat.

The show ran from 1992, first on ITV and then moving to BBC1, with Neil playing Martin’s sidekick, ‘the Robin to his Batman’. 

Good friends long before the sitcom happened, they nevertheless were not the original pairing: Harry Enfield co-starred with Clunes in the first series.

Figureheads of the 1990s' Lad Culture, Martin Clunes (right) and Neil Morrissey (left) were setting off to explore France in their boozy travelogue, Bon Voyage. 'Can we still call it a lads' road trip,' mused Neil, 'when we're old enough to have a Freedom Pass?'

Figureheads of the 1990s’ Lad Culture, Martin Clunes (right) and Neil Morrissey (left) were setting off to explore France in their boozy travelogue, Bon Voyage. ‘Can we still call it a lads’ road trip,’ mused Neil, ‘when we’re old enough to have a Freedom Pass?’

Of course they can. Neil is 62, Martin a year older, but they still think it's hilarious to play with their food and make jokes about breaking wind

Of course they can. Neil is 62, Martin a year older, but they still think it’s hilarious to play with their food and make jokes about breaking wind

Though they cheerfully admitted they don’t see a lot of each other these days, their natural bond is as strong as ever. 

Neil now spends much of his time at a renovated farmhouse in Lot-et-Garonne, in the south-west of France, where he has a micro-brewery. Only an Englishman could move to the world’s lushest wine country in order to make beer.

They spent much of the first episode, as they meandered towards the Bordeaux coast by car, bicycle and canoe, comparing their childhoods. Both suffered miserably as boys, which probably explains their urge to be perpetually immature.

Clunes was sent to a boarding school aged nine after his father died. ‘That’s where the beginnings of humour come in,’ he said, ‘as a protective device. I do remember childhood as a series of challenges, all those teachers hitting you with sticks and stuff.’

Morrissey was taken into care aged ten. On his first day at a social services assessment centre, he said, ‘one of the big boys came up, sat me down and just started tattooing me’. He rolled up a sleeve to prove it.

Despite their traumatic upbringings, both men seem blithely well adjusted. Neil in particular acts as though he doesn’t have a worry in the world. 

‘He has a knack of encouraging good fortune to surround him,’ Martin explained. ‘He could fall in the Thames and come out dry.’

Bon Voyage is doubtless inspired by the success of Gone Fishing with Paul Whitehouse and Bob Mortimer – two boys of a similar vintage, also lifelong chums.

Despite their traumatic upbringings, both men seem blithely well adjusted. Neil in particular acts as though he doesn't have a worry in the world. 'He has a knack of encouraging good fortune to surround him,' Martin explained. 'He could fall in the Thames and come out dry'

Despite their traumatic upbringings, both men seem blithely well adjusted. Neil in particular acts as though he doesn’t have a worry in the world. ‘He has a knack of encouraging good fortune to surround him,’ Martin explained. ‘He could fall in the Thames and come out dry’

Neil and Martin, they're just a couple of lads, for heaven's sake. Stay young and live for ever, that's the way to do it

Neil and Martin, they’re just a couple of lads, for heaven’s sake. Stay young and live for ever, that’s the way to do it

But that series draws on maudlin undercurrents. Both Paul and Bob have suffered heart disease, and their tomfoolery is coloured by a sense that life is short. They are constantly aware of their own mortality.

Nothing so morbid troubles Neil and Martin. They’re just a couple of lads, for heaven’s sake. Stay young and live for ever, that’s the way to do it.

Blue light of the night

Bermuda copper Paul ‘Geordie’ Watson was sporting navy blue shorts, long socks and a bobby’s helmet, in Policing Paradise (BBC1). ‘I’m old-fashioned, I remember Dixon Of Dock Green,’ he said. 

But surely Sgt Dixon never flashed his knees?

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