There comes a time when mothers need a good cry.
However, when women cover up their emotions, they tend to avoid shedding tears by putting on a brave face in front of their children.
Mummy blogger Constance Hall says that’s not necessary – and she believes it’s perfectly fine to let your kids see you at your most vulnerable state.
Mother-of-four Constance Hall explained why it’s perfectly fine to let your kids see you cry
The young mother – who’s expecting a fifth child said her children have caught her weeping
Taking to Facebook, the Perth mother-of-four – who’s expecting a child with her husband Denim Cooke – admitted her children have caught her weeping.
‘Do you hide in the shower when you need to cry? Do you wipe your puffy face quickly and answer your kids with “no no mummies fine”,’ she said.
‘I used to… you know, you don’t want your kids to feel the insecurity of their rock breaking down…
‘I remember sobbing behind a closed door determined that my children wouldn’t see me, a couple of years ago, I cried a lot.
‘And so things changed, they inevitably caught me, they consoled me, in gentle caring ways, little arms on my shoulders as I lied about being fine.
‘I got help, my life got better. But my children remained changed.’
Constance and her husband Denim Cooke are expecting their first baby together
Constance said by expressing your feelings in front of the children, mothers are actually teaching youngsters how to handle emotions
Constance then shared a story of one of her kids who told her about seeing their teacher weep in class – but her emotions were not well received by some students.
‘Recently one of my children reported that their teacher broke down in class… how unusual, for a teacher to cry in class…. apparently all of the other teachers came to her aid while some of the students started making fun,’ she said.
‘It got me thinking about how any of us handle raw emotion. I was raised by a young single mother, she had a knack for tough situations, she had been through a lot in her short life, and always taught me “don’t be so worried about saying the wrong thing, just say something, go in for the hug, say you’re sorry, ask the questions, in a world where everyone is silent in the face of raw emotion just say something”.
‘When my step dad’s brother was dying, we all stood silently in the room trying to be polite, my mum jumped on his bed and wrapped her arms around him and said ‘this is so s***’ which allowed him the space to have a cry. I never forgot it.’
Constance explained how the men in her life, including her ’emotionally mature’ husband, has struggled with comforting her when she’s upset
Constance explained how the men in her life, including her ’emotionally mature’ husband, has struggled with comforting her when she’s upset.
‘It occurred to me that I’ve never had a boyfriend who was comfortable to comfort me when I was distressed. Even my current husband who is very emotionally mature backs away and shuts down when I cry,’ she said.
But Constance said by expressing your feelings in front of the children, mothers are actually teaching youngsters how to handle emotions.
‘On the weekend, I watched a terribly sad documentary with my children and as tears were welling up in mine and my daughters’ eyes, my son put his arms around us both, patting and rubbing our backs,’ she said.
‘I realised that my kids are completely okay with human emotion, not traumatised from seeing their mum cry, they care and understand that this is life,’ she said.
‘People get hurt, people hurt people, mums have their limits and even teachers cry.
‘There is such comfort for a child knowing that their rock can break down, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t secure.
‘And if we can’t be their for each other why are we here at all?’