There was once a time when people groups around the world were so isolated, that they had no idea other cultures or societies even existed. This period is now further in the rear-view mirror than one can even see.
Today, it is not uncommon for people of varied cultures and backgrounds to work side by side at the same company. In fact, in most major cities, this is the norm. Industries aside, workforces are as diverse as ever.
No matter how one views it, diversity of both people and thoughts are excellent tools for any company to have at their disposal. But with it comes a specific set of challenges. Unfortunately, not every person possesses the ability to connect personally with others.
But some have suggested this characteristic can be grown.
Furthermore, others have proposed there are many benefits to connecting with others.
Musician Brandon Jenner said as much, we can bring positive energy into our daily lives by smiling more, talking to strangers in line, replacing handshakes with hugs, and calling our friends just to tell them we love them.
How does one grow their ability to connect with others? It starts on a very basic level, really.
Below you will find conversation tricks to help you better connect with others.
Stop talking
If someone desires a connection with another person, it may sound counterintuitive to stop talking once they have engaged this person in conversation. However, doing so might just be the recipe for success needed to begin better connecting with others.
That being said, it is not as simple as closing one’s mouth.
While this action is a necessity, the following step is vastly more important – intentional listening. With the overwhelming amount of information thrown around via the internet, shutting down when even more information presents itself is a natural course of action.
But, if the true connection is to be achieved, then the participants might fight this urge and pay close attention to what is being said.
Dr. Payel Gupta, CMO, and Co-Founder of Cleared spoke to this idea, people from all walks of life want to connect with others. It’s just a natural behavior ingrained within us.
But some people take this to mean they should be telling their stories and talking all the time. It’s critical to remember that human connection is not a one-way street. If you can’t remember specific information about the other person, you haven’t connected well at all.
Leave it Open-Ended
Maybe the fastest way to kill off any conversation is to ask a question that leads to a dead end. Max Schwartzapfel, CMO of Fighting For You put it best, questions that suggest either a yes or no answer will never get you very far in connecting with people.
There’s nothing wrong with planning out some thoughtful questions before speaking with someone or even simply having them on hand.
Practically speaking, questions such as ‘What do you feel like is your biggest personal or professional achievement?’ or “How do you think your friends would describe you to their family?’ These types of questions get to the meat of who people are so to speak.
If a person must pause and think about their response to a question before they voice it, this is indicative of a question worth asking. Another way to approach this aspect of the conversation is to imagine oneself answering the question they are about to ask.
If the imaginary answer is not one worth repeating, it is probably not a question worth asking.
Don’t Overcomplicate It
For whatever reason, people love to, and naturally, embellish themselves. This is especially true when meeting people or interacting with them early in the relationship.
There may not be anything problematic about exaggerating a gym performance or personal story but taking this to the next level is where interpersonal issues can arise.
Susan Shaffer, President of Pneuma Nitric Oxide summarized this:
“Not everyone has the power to detect a lie as soon as it leaves a person’s mouth. If they did, personal relationships would be very straightforward. With this being the case, I advise everyone to keep their relationships from getting complicated by always being truthful.”
On top of this, people who speak or act in ways that are not genuine to themselves often find the people they are interacting with have some level of adversity to furthering an interaction or relationship.
Why? Many people have the innate ability to detect when others are lacking sincerity, even if they can’t totally identify why this is the case.
Remember to Use Patience
The true human connection does not come to fruition simply because one party desires for it to happen. There are more than just a few variables which contribute to this. Like with anything, the most impactful items in life do not appear on a whim.
The best and strongest relationships are both forged in fire and nurtured over a long period of time.
In the beginning, when either party wants to begin connecting with another, a natural behavior arises in the form of excitement. Generally, this is due to one person’s eagerness to get the relationship off the ground.
But giving into this tendency can be harmful instead of constructive.
Natalia Morozova, Partner of Cohen, Tucker & Ades P.C. talked about this:
“The world has become a place of instant gratification. Between the internet and all the on-demand services available, there are very few things that you can’t get at a moment’s notice. But human relationships are one of these things and that’s not going to change anytime soon. This is why you should approach every interaction with patience.”
Regardless of personal attributes, professional qualifications, and individual interests, people hunger for connection with others. In some ways, these connections are the fuel that keeps each person going.
What these people do not realize is their responsibility in making this happen.
Poet David Whyte highlighted this:
“A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.”