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Dad jokes are made funnier by the ‘canned laughter’ used by sitcoms such as Friends

1 What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare foot. 

2 What button is impossible to unbutton? The belly button. 

3 What did Michael Jackson call his denim store? Billie Jeans. 

4 What is invisible and smells of worms? A bird’s fart. 

5 What do you call a Minecraft celebration? A block party. 

6 Who is the best Kung Fu vegetable? Brocc‐Lee. 

7 What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.

 8 What did the butt say to the other butt? PTTTTT . 

9 What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. 

10 Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? He got stuck in a crack.

 11 What’s round and sounds like a trumpet? A crumpet. 

12 What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino‐SNORE. 

13 What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Dug. 

14 What kind of hair do they sell at IHOP? Eggstensions. 

15 What do you call an Asian man who always has correct change? Exact Lee. 

16 What do you call an apple that farts? A fruity Tooty.

17 What is the best day to cook? FRY‐DAY. 

18 What did the horse say when it fell? GIDDYUP! 

19 What do you receive when you ask a lemon to help? Lemon aid 

20 Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go. 

21 When does a sandwich cook? When it is bakin’ lettuce and tomato. 

22 Why did the smart phone need glasses? It lost all its contacts. 

23 What state has the smallest drinks? Mini‐soda. 

24 Why did the cow cross the road? They wanted to go to the mooooovies.

25 What do you call a funky car? Mustang. 

26 What did the hammer say to his homeboys? Nailed it. 

27 Why are cats good at video games? Because they have nine lives. 

28 What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. 

29 What is big and green and falls off over the tree will kill you? A snooker table. 

30 What did the French guy do when he drank too much water? He went oui oui in his pants 

31 Where do pencils spend their vacation? Pencil‐Vania. 

32 What do flies eat for breakfast? A bowl of poop loops. 

33 Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be a pop star. 

34 What did the duck do when he read all these jokes? He quacked up. 

35 Why was the tomato all red? It saw the salad dressing. 

36 What do you call a female magician in the dessert? A sand witch. 

37 How do billboards talk? Sign language.

 38 What is brown and sticky? A stick. 

39 I hurt my foot driving the other day. You know what I called? The toe company. 

40 What does a dinosaur use to pay bills? Tyrannosaurus checks


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