Rugby star Danny Cipriani has revealed he once tried to buy a gun to kill himself in a video posted on Instagram following ex-girlfriend Caroline Flack’s death.
Cipriani, 32, opened up about his own struggles in a heartbreaking 18-minute video posted on his Instagram account to his 211,000 followers.
The former England player revealed that he had been talking with Ms Flack, who killed herself over the weekend, for the past three to four months.
He said that the ex-Love Island host tried to contact Cipriani last Friday night, just hours before she tragically took her own life.
Danny Cipriani (pictured) opens up about his own struggles in a heartbreaking 18-minute video posted on his Instagram account to his 211,000 followers
Cipriani was unable to take the call or respond to her message because he was playing for Gloucester against Exeter in the Gallagher Premiership.
In the video, the former England superstar revealed that he went through ‘severe depression’ aged 22, and contemplated committing suicide.
He said: ‘I met a guy who was at a nightclub, he ended up being around.
‘I knew he was a bad man, was in the scene, trying to make his way in whatever he was doing. I decided at this point it was time for me to take my own life and I tried to buy a gun from him. And I pulled out. Then I tried to buy it again, but I pulled out.
‘This went on for two months. I couldn’t do it. Because I had some fight in me.’
The former England superstar revealed that he had been talking with Ms Flack, who killed herself over the weekend, for the past three to four months
Shockingly, the ex- Love Island host tried to contact Cipriani last Friday night, just hours before she tragically took her own life in her north London flat
Cipriani said he felt ‘safe’ sharing everything with Ms Flack, and claimed ‘it was ultimately embarrassment and shame that killed her’.
As he urged the public to ‘be kind’, Cipriani fought back tears.
He said: ‘Someone that I loved as a person very dearly and someone I’m very close to has decided to take her own life, as everyone knows.
‘I’ve been speaking to her for the last three, four months. We’ve always been in contact since we were together, since we weren’t.
‘It’s always been a loving friendship.
‘I was so vulnerable with her in my moment, when we first met, and I told her everything about me because I felt safe with her.
‘I told her all the things I was embarrassed and shameful about.
‘And she made me feel OK.
‘And ultimately it was embarrassment and shame that killed her.
‘So I’m telling everyone now what my most embarrassing and shameful moments are, because I know she knew I had the strength to do this.
‘We had spoken about how things had to change.
‘I didn’t know it was going to take this.’
An emotional Cipriani then continued: ‘When I was 22, I was going through severe depression. I was seeing a psychiatrist.
‘I met a guy who was at this nightclub. I knew he was a bad man.
‘I decided at that point it was time for me to take my own life, and I tried to buy a gun from him. And I pulled out of it.
‘This went on for about two months, and I couldn’t do it. I had some fight in me.’
‘That was something that I went through and I’ve had to carry that.’
He then said: ‘She [Ms Flack] knew everything about me.
‘The reason I’m saying this is because embarrassment and shame is not something that should make you do this.
‘It’s how we treat people and look after everyone, cause everyone has embarrassment and shame to some sort of degree.
‘Whatever it is, we be kind, we try to be gentle.’
- To contact the Samaritans, call 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org