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Dating expert reveals top five mistakes women should avoid if they want to attract a successful man

A dating expert has revealed the top five mistakes women need to avoid if they want to attract a ‘successful man’ this winter.

International relationship coach Sami Wunder specialises in helping high-achieving women attract and keep romantic love interests by embracing strong boundaries and ‘feminine energy’.

Sami, who founded her multi seven-figure brand after a successful career as an economist, has helped more than 450 singletons tie the knot and hundreds of partnered clients bring their marriages back from divorce in the past six years.

Having improved the love lives of thousands of women, including celebs, senior executives, and entrepreneurs, in over 55 countries, Sami has now revealed the five top mistakes to avoid if you want to attract a successful man on a date.

A dating expert has revealed the top five mistakes women need to avoid if they want to attract a ‘successful man’ this winter (stock photo)

1) Don’t talk about your achievements and the money you make

Sami said: ‘High-achieving women in particular can be prone to talking about career achievements, but this doesn’t make for sexy date conversation.

‘Love and romance is about heart connection, it’s not about his or your achievements, it’s about connecting at an emotional level with the man in front of you.

‘When we lead with our success and our achievements we often fail to reflect our human side, our imperfect side, and it’s those things that actually lead to a connection on a date and that’s what you want.

2) Don’t control his choices on the date 

‘Attempting to control your date’s choices on the date by suggesting items on the menu you think he should be eating or choosing the wine for him is a big turn off,’ claimed the relationship coach.

‘When we like a man we can get excited to make him do what we want, but if he’s an ambitious and successful man, he will have his own mind and will know what he likes to eat and drink.

‘So the best thing to do is to lean back and let him make his own choices and you can make your own choices.

‘Any kind of “mothering” behaviour is actually a huge romance killer, and will stop him from feeling attracted to you. So let him be in his masculine energy, making his own decisions.’

‘You don’t need to impress him by telling him about your achievements, instead let him get to know the real you.’

3) Don’t get into analytical, work-like conversations with him

The dating expert warned: ‘Leading with analytical, work-like conversations is never a good idea – debating with a potential partner is the fastest way to take the sexiness out of a date.

‘This is not about not being an intelligent woman with opinions, but this is about understanding that if you get too much in your head and get too competitive about opinions, this will remain a work-like connection rather than a more personal, romantic connection.

‘You want to be enjoying some flirty banter on a date, not arguing with a potential partner about politics.

‘Instead of getting analytical and worklike and trapped in discussions, I always advise my clients to share stories, experiences, travels, even ask some intimacy fostering questions. 

‘For example, you could ask things like: “have you ever been really afraid in your life?” Or “what is something that stops you sleeping at night?” Or “what is something you want to achieve before you get old?”

‘These are intimacy fostering questions, so rather than butting heads on politics, you get to create intimacy with the man you are dating.’

4) Don’t solve his problems or give solutions if he opens up

Sami insisted: ‘Don’t solve his problems or give solutions if he opens up or shares something he’s been facing with you – that’s a mothering role and you don’t want him to view you like that.

‘It’s a big move for a successful man to open his heart and it can be very vulnerable for him to share a struggle or problem with you. 

‘The best thing you can do from a feminine energy perspective is hear him out, believe in him and let him know that you trust he will find a solution.

‘The women I work with tend to be amazing problem solvers and fixers and will be tempted to solve his problems. They will think that they are helping and being loving, but actually the result of this behaviour is actually the opposite. 

‘It makes the guy feel smaller in front of you, it makes him feel like you don’t trust him to solve his own problems. This tendency to try to solve problems is best avoided. 

‘Instead, respect his vulnerability by listening and believing in him and trusting that he can solve his own problems.’

5) Don’t jump the gun to suggest a second date

‘Just think about it for a moment, how easy it is for you to ask out a person you like?,’ said the dating expert. 

‘It takes two minutes to send a text or pick up the phone and call. It really is that easy, so if he wants to see you again the best thing you can do for your dating life is to let him take the lead on asking you out and setting up dates.

‘Let him take the lead and call you because he feels inspired and really wants to see you. And remember he most likely has so many women in his inbox trying to grab his attention and make it happen, so the best way you can separate yourself from the crowd is to be the one he actually gets to pursue.

‘When it comes to dating and relationships, letting the man lead is actually very empowering for you as a woman, and enables the man to feel empowered as well, which is a win-win for both of you.

‘Letting a man lead means we put the burden of making the connection move forward on the man. Which means you don’t have to do the hard work of pursuing him, you get to lean back and relax.’

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