Debrett's guide on being a Christmas party guest

The Christmas party season is just around the corner – and many of us will find ourselves as guests at festive gatherings over the coming weeks.

But negotiating your way through the perils of dinner party etiquette can be a nightmare.

Fortunately etiquette bible Debrett’s has revealed its guide on how to behave to help any uncertain guests avoid a major faux pas.

From what to bring the host to when it is appropriate to re-gift, experts offer tips on how to impress your host – and ensure you’re invited back next year…

Festive cheer: Debrett’s has revealed it’s guide to being the perfect dinner party guest. The first step is to always bring a thoughtful gift to thank your generous host. File image

What to bring

More than half of Britons are unsure of gift-giving etiquette at Christmas, according to Sainsbury’s, who produced the guide in collaboration with Debrett’s.

The first rule of being a dinner party guests is to bring a small favour for your generous hosts – and food and drink is a good place to start. Indeed, nearly half of those surveyed agreed that food and drink are the safest options for gifts.

Debrett’s noted you can’t go wrong with a bottle of booze, but make sure to put some thought into the choice – with cocktails on the rise, spirits can make a fun alternative to wine or whiskey, but stick to port for those traditionalists.

A longer stay is a different matter, however, especially if you’re visiting over Christmas, and guests are advised to ‘take something more substantial’ such as a case of wine or a hamper.

Thoughtful: Asking your host in advance what type of wine you should bring to drinks or a dinner party is a considerate gesture, but is not essential, according to Debrett’s. File image

Which wine?

Asking your host in advance what type of wine you should bring to drinks or a dinner party is a considerate gesture, but is not essential.

Re-gift with caution

We’ve all been tempted to pass on an unwanted present to a more appreciative recipient, but do think twice before attempting to re-gift.

Ensure the gift is generic enough that the original giver won’t spot it – check for engraving, monogramming or any other personalisation before giving it to your neighbour.

Lucy Hume, associate director at Debrett’s and author of the guide, said: ‘It may be tempting to regift individual components of a multi-part present, but a lonely jar of English mustard is an instant deconstructed-gift giveaway.

‘A bottle of wine or box of shortbread are more acceptable.’

Guests might also try to pair the wine with the meal although they should not labour over this because ‘every wine goes with Boxing Day leftovers’, the guide states.

Debrett’s says it is ‘perfectly acceptable for your host to open and serve it the same night’, even if it was intended to be kept.

It therefore advises guests to try to hid their dismay ‘that the vintage champagne you brought is being lavished on undiscerning palates when you were expecting it to be saved for a special occasion’.

The other alternative is to bring the bottle unchilled as it is then less likely to be opened the same night.

Think twice about chocolate

Chocolates might be everywhere over the festive season but that does not mean they are welcomed in all households.

Before gifting sweet treats make sure the recipient is not diabetic or on a diet – and be considerate of giving them to families with children as parents might want to avoid giving them too much sugar.

It also recommends buying pre-wrapped ‘posh chocolates’ to save yourself from papercuts and tape.

Double check: Before gifting sweet treats make sure the recipient is not diabetic or on a diet – and be considerate of giving them to families with children. File image

Homecooked or store bought?

Do offer to make a culinary contribution, but stick to mince pies or biscuits.

Bringing your own lasagne might cause your host to take offence at the insinuation that their own food isn’t up to scratch.

Don’t forget to wrap

Whatever gift you do decide to bring, make sure it is wrapped.

This is a simple way to elevate the wine of food from a practical contribution to a thoughtful gift.

Skip the social media post

Debrett’s warns guests to treat social media with caution.

The guide says ‘Insta-boasting’ could make others feel that their day doesn’t match up to yours – and risks revealing any presents that might have been re-gifted.

… And don’t forget to say ‘thank you’

When all the festivities are over, a written thank you note is preferable.

However ‘if you know that you’re unlikely to locate a pen, paper and a stamp much before 2021, give your benefactor a call to thank them instead,’ the guide states.

Debrett’s says a WhatsApp or a text message are the least preferable options, but says digital thanks are better than no thanks at all.

Never forget: Thank you cards might be less common but they’re still a nice gesture. File image

10 steps to being a perfect guest

Bringing a bottle: Don’t expect to drink a bottle you bring to a party, but do be prepared to open one you’re given.

Social Strife: Posting presents on social media is bad form, as well as unseemly gloating you could also risk outing a re-gifter.

Re-presenting: A hamper you won’t eat all of? Unfortunately, a re-gifted paté or jar of piccalilli just won’t cut the mustard when it comes to good gift-giving etiquette – splash out and buy them their own biscuits, luxury oils or box of chocolates.

Sweet Treats: Christmas, sadly, doesn’t mean a free-for-all on confectionery for everyone. It’s polite to check with parents before unloading sweet treats on their children.

Alcoholic Alternatives: You can’t go wrong with a bottle of booze, but make sure to put some thought into the choice – with cocktails on the rise, spirits can make a fun alternative to wine or whiskey, but stick to port for those traditionalists.

Bearing Gifts: Always come bearing gifts. A bottle of wine or a box of chocolates are customary but if it’s a longer stay over Christmas think about something more substantial.

All wrapped up: You should wrap food and wine to elevate it from a practical contribution to a thoughtful gift.

Making a match: You can have a go at matching the wine to a meal if going over for dinner, but more importantly, just make sure you bring a bottle.

Culinary contribution: Do offer to make a culinary contribution, but stick to mince pies or biscuits. Bringing your own lasagne might cause your host to take offence at the insinuation that their own food isn’t up to scratch.

Saying Thank You: The handwritten thank you letter may be on the decline but that doesn’t mean you can get away without a show of gratitude – if there’s no headed stationery available, then digital thanks are better than no thanks at all.

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk

Debrett’s guide on being a Christmas party guest

Re-gift with caution

Don’t forget to wrap

10 steps to being a perfect guest