Don’t rely on a job for your identity: KT TUNSTALL reveals the one lesson she’s learned from life

Don’t rely on a job for your identity: KT TUNSTALL reveals the one lesson she’s learned from life

Multi-award-winning Scottish singer-songwriter KT Tunstall, 47, is best-known for hits Suddenly I See and Other Side Of The World. 

She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with her boyfriend. 

DON’T RELY ON A JOB FOR YOUR IDENTITY 

Growing up adopted is a very singular experience. I never quite felt I fitted in a lot of the time, and was always searching for a sense of belonging. But I was a fun-loving, gregarious child, loved company and easily made friends.

That continued into my 20s and was part of the reason I gravitated towards music with its eccentric characters to hang out with. I had a natural flair for it.

KT Tunstall, 47, is a multi-award-winning Scottish singer-songwriter best-known for hits Suddenly I See and Other Side Of The World

As a fun-loving, gregarious child who loved company and easily made friends, KT gravitated towards music with its eccentric characters to hang out with

As a fun-loving, gregarious child who loved company and easily made friends, KT gravitated towards music with its eccentric characters to hang out with

Being a solo artist had a baked-in loneliness to it, but for the first ten years of my career I always toured with a band and crew, which meant having 15-20 people around me all the time. 

And even when I perform solo, I still have several crew travelling with me. 

When things got successful and I became the golden egg, everybody’s job relied on me staying safe and intact, so I was cosseted. Sometimes I’d sneak off just to have a walk on my own.

When adulthood kicked in, I ticked all the boxes I thought I should, like getting a nice car, buying a house, marrying and talking about having kids… but the more boxes I ticked, the more unhappy I became. 

I couldn’t understand why I was miserable when I had everything I thought I’d ever wanted.

The dream of my 15-year-old self had been attained, but I realised I needed to build a new dream for my adult self and that would require some solitude and a lot of inner work.

When she found herself unhappy despite having achieved her goals, she realised the job had become her identity and took a break in 2013. She now sees that as the start of a more loving relationship with herself

When she found herself unhappy despite having achieved her goals, she realised the job had become her identity and took a break in 2013. She now sees that as the start of a more loving relationship with herself 

Thanks to some great therapy, I accepted I had some deep abandonment issues and had a fear of being left alone. 

It had turned me into an overactive people-pleaser and how I wanted to be living got very lost. The job had become my identity and I was left asking myself: ‘Who am I?’

So in 2013, I took a big hiatus. That was the beginning of a great loving relationship with myself. If I didn’t look after me and work out what I wanted, no one else could do it for me. 

Knowing yourself leads to loving yourself. And feeling that love for yourself also opens the door to receiving love from other people.

  • KT’s most recent albums are a trilogy: Kin, Wax and Nut. An album of duets by KT and Suzi Quatro will be released this summer.

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