Elegance coach reveals the 7 jokes a lady should NEVER tell

An elegance coach has revealed the seven types of jokes you shouldn’t ever say if you trying to be a ‘lady’.

Anna Bey, who splits her time between London and Geneva, took to YouTube to explain the seven mistakes elegant people don’t make when quipping.

She noted that when people make certain types of jokes, based on things like people’s appearance, or where they are from, you can hit a nerve.

Anna also added that sometimes it can be best to leave risqué humour to the professionals.

Here, FEMAIL reveals her seven types of jokes that a lady should apparently never tell…

SOMETHING THAT’S TRUE – AND SENSITIVE

According to Anna: ‘Sometimes it becomes problematic when you joke about something that actually is true, but is a little bit on the sensitive side for that person.

‘Let’s say you would joke about someone’s appearance. A person has a big nose and you make a joke out of it…There is this chance that that person might have an insecurity about their nose.

‘Maybe they have been teased all their life about it, and now you are here making a joke out of it.

‘Or let’s say that person is overweight and [make a joke saying] “did you have to pay for an additional airplane seat? Not funny.

‘Sensitive subjects should always be treated with care and never just joked about if there’s a slight chance that they might be true.’

As a caveat, she added: ‘The only time I would say [it’s ok] having this type of banter going on with someone…is if you have a certain rapport with a person.

‘There’s also this golden rule, if the person cannot change it in five seconds, then don’t joke about it.’

YOUR OWN NEGATIVE OPINIONS 

The elegance coach said: ‘I do believe that sometimes many of us do this innocently. However, there are some people who push it a little bit too far and do it a bit passive aggressively.

‘When you have a critical opinion about something [to do with] a person and then you tell it to them, but you make like a joke out of it. As an example, let’s say you hate the way I dress, and you want to let me know that.

‘So as an example, if you would say this joke, Anna, I think my grandma’s clothes would suit you really well.’

She continued: ‘I might not agree with that. So I would take it in the wrong way. I might not even find it funny because I wouldn’t really understand. Okay, well, what are you trying to say with that? 

‘However, an example when it would be fine is if I keep telling about or even make fun of my own bad memory. Let’s say that is a fact, and I keep bringing it up a little bit here, a little bit there. I keep joking about it myself. 

‘So if you say, let’s say Anna, you and your goldfish memory, then that is okay because I have already addressed it.’

SARCASM THAT GOES TOO FAR  

Anna said: ‘[Sarcasm] is not always funny because of a few simple reasons. One, if the person is not understanding that you are being sarcastic, then you lose the entire purpose of the joke. 

‘Instead, that person might think that you are serious and that you’re a complete j*** for saying certain things. 

‘So you need to really be aware and make sure that person has a bit of a sense of humour, or that person has the ability to interpret my message correctly. 

‘Sometimes, of course, if you take it a bit too far, f it’s a little bit unclear in your own delivery method of sarcasm, that one doesn’t really understand, okay, when is it sarcasm? When is it serious? Then you need to think about how you deliver your sarcasm.

‘But then number two, when you take your sarcasm too far, using it too frequently or taking it to a level where the information you deliver is just way too harsh.

Just because it’s a joke doesn’t mean you can say whatever. So think about it this way, sarcasm can still be seen as your own personal opinion, even if you say it in a joke full way. So don’t take it too far and think about what kind of sarcasm you say.’

Anna noted that when people make certain types of jokes, based on things like people’s appearance, or where they are from, you can hit a nerve

VULGAR COMMENTS 

Anna said: ‘You may know by now that anything vulgar does not equal elegance. And of course, vulgar jokes fall under this bracket because classy people are mindful with the vulgarity of their humour. 

‘I mean, sure you can always pull a joke between close friends that is a little bit X-rated or spicy, but I would say that is okay because you are in your intimate circle with people that you can really trust.

‘And here you’re able to let loose and let your hair done because you really know these people and these people know you.

‘So they might not take any offense because they will understand what you are about and who you are. The thing with good humour is this, is that whenever it’s a little bit inappropriate, it’s oftentimes funny.

But it does stop being funny when you push it a bit further than that, when it becomes a bit too inappropriate, when it’s so vulgar that it almost becomes awkward. 

‘Another problem with vulgar jokes, it’s not necessarily what has been said, but it’s more about how it’s being received.

‘That’s why I said with close friends, do whatever you want. But with regular friends, with acquaintances, with strangers, you really have to be careful because you don’t know them well enough to understand their sense of humour, their level of offense, their background, what is sensitive for them, and so on. 

‘And please note, some people are easily offended and then they’re gonna be those that are not. And the art of elegance, ladies, is to be really able to communicate with all kinds of people.

‘That means you are constantly reading people and you kind of adapt to whoever you’re having a conversation with. 

‘Not adapt in the sense that you change who you are, but more so you understand when is the right time for this side of you to step forward and when you should tone down another side.

A BADLY TOLD JOKE 

Anna said: ‘Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. And you need to know how to properly tell a joke so that it actually sounds funny and not awkward.

And the secret to really good jokes is often tied into storytelling. And good storytelling is knowing how the build-up process works. 

‘As an example, you need to really understand where the punchline is and really hit it hard and emphasize on it so it becomes clear and funny.

‘People who are bad at telling jokes, usually just rush the jokes. You want to really take your time. You want to work the audience up. You want to create some intrigue and make them feel, “what? What’s next? I need to know.”

So working with pauses would therefore be really good because it adds a little bit of suspense. And then when it’s time for the climax, you just go for it like there’s no tomorrow to really nail that punchline. 

‘But just one more thing, ladies, make sure that you don’t laugh at your own joke in the process.’