Does ‘online sex’ count as cheating? Relationship expert reveals whether watching porn and chatting to webcam models is considered infidelity
- Dr Jessica O’Reilly has revealed whether ‘online sex’ is considered cheating
- She says that couple should decide on boundaries early on in the relationship
- If they cannot reach common ground, she says there are compatibility issues
- If you do something that violates the relationship agreement, then it’s ‘cheating’
Although it’s widely accepted that physical intimacy with a man or woman outside your relationship is considered ‘cheating’, the lines become a little more blurry when it comes to the online world.
So at what point does ‘online sex’ become ‘cheating’?
Australian sex and relationship expert, Dr Jessica O’Reilly, recently addressed the topic on her Instagram page and said the answer is different depending on the couple.
‘For one person, flirtation with a stranger may be perfectly fine and for another, it could be disastrous – you need to talk to your partner about your expectations and definition of monogamy,’ the We-Vibe ambassador explained.
Sex and relationship expert, Dr Jessica O’Reilly , recently addressed the topic of ‘online sex’ on her Instagram page and said it’s only ‘cheating’ if it’s outside relationship boundaries
‘This conversation should include a discussion of your fears, insecurities, concerns, questions and expectations.
‘You cannot set the rules unilaterally and expect your partner to comply.’
Dr O’Reilly said couples need to come to an agreement on what constitutes cheating and if common ground cannot be found, there is a ‘compatibility issue’ in the relationship.
‘I can’t tell you whether or not virtual sex constitutes cheating – nor can anyone else,’ she said.
Dr O’Reilly said couples need to come to an agreement on what constitutes cheating and if common ground cannot be found, there is a ‘compatibility issue’ in the relationship
‘They may believe that it’s cheating and this rule may apply in many relationships, but it’s a faulty generalisation to assume that it applies universally. For some people cyber sex constitutes cheating. For others, it’s a part of their consensual relationship.’
Dr O’Reilly said many people don’t find the idea of ‘only being turned on by one person’ for their whole lives a ‘realistic’ idea.
‘Many couples opt to engage in behaviours that acknowledge multiple attractions,’ she said.
‘They might watch porn, talk about others, share fantasies, flirt or dance with others (this is particularly relevant cross-culturally), engage with webcam models or have cyber sex.
Dr O’Reilly said the bottom line is that if you do something that violates your relationship agreement, then it’s ‘probably cheating’
‘What works for others may not work for you, so be honest about your boundaries and desires.’
Dr O’Reilly said the bottom line is that if you do something that violates your relationship agreement, then it’s ‘probably cheating’.
‘This doesn’t mean that your actions would constitute cheating in every relationship, but if you’ve signed up for a specific version of monogamy, hopefully you feel that these boundaries work for you,’ she concluded.
‘Of course, they might change over time, so keep the conversation ongoing – whether you’re monogamous, consensually non-monogamous or monogamish.’
How can women improve their sex lives?
1. Be selfish
Ask for what you want and stop worrying about your partner so that you can focus on yourself. Often, we perform pleasure because we’re so focused on our partners feelings, that we forget about our own. Learn to be selfish, and practice taking pleasure without feeling the need to reciprocate.
2. Get to know your body
Simply examining your genitals using a mirror can help you learn more about this beautiful region and appreciate its sexual and practical splendor. Spend more time naked to become comfortable with your body – especially if anxiety related to body image is holding you back in bed.
3. Masturbate
The more you learn to take care of yourself, the more likely you are to reach the heights of pleasure with your partner.
4. Invest in lifestyle factors that affect your overall health and sex life
Sleep, eat well, and exercise.
5. Practice mindfulness
Start your day with seven deep breaths and simply allow yourself to feel the air moving throughout and around your body. Practice focus: close your eyes and have your partner caress your hands and face for five minutes. If you practice mindfulness outside of the bedroom, you’ll enjoy the benefits in the bedroom with regard to presence, intimacy and pleasure.
‘Often, we perform pleasure because we’re so focused on our partners feelings, that we forget about our own,’ she said