A worried dad has revealed how he lied to his mother-in-law and risked an argument with his wife to protect his 14-year-old from her grandmother’s cruel body shaming.
Taking to Reddit, the 42-year-old said he gave his mother-in-law a fake address when she wanted to send his daughter a baton twirling outfit ‘two sizes too small’ – a decision he claims is intentional.
He explained that the woman had given his daughter a ‘crash dieting’ book when she was 12, leaving the youngster ‘devastated’ and ‘too scared to eat her dinner’.
‘Our daughter is a healthy girl. She is highly active, studious, and most importantly, happy,’ he said.
A worried dad has revealed how he lied to his mother-in-law and risked an argument with his wife to protect his 14-year-old from her grandmother’s cruel body shaming
‘Her grandmother believes that she’s not reaching her ‘full potential,’ whatever that means, and thinks that she’ll be on the front covers of magazines if she can just shed some weight.
‘Since she made these views clear to me, I have made it my mission to block any unsupervised contact, and this includes gifts,’ he explained.
The father thought his bogus-address plan would work – but the package was promptly returned to the grandmother, who was furious.
‘I couldn’t guarantee that I’d be home to intercept any gifts, and my daughter would open something addressed to her,’ he said.
The plan came unstuck a few weeks after his daughter’s birthday.
‘Both she and my wife were furious, and my wife amended the address I gave her before. Grandma insisted it was a completely innocent package.’
The day the birthday present arrived the father made sure he was home – and was furious when he opened it.
Inside was a baton twirling uniform, which would have been the perfect gift as the sport is one of the youngster’s hobbies, but it was ‘at least’ two sizes too small.
‘I sat my wife down with the stupid thing in front of us and said it was clearly intentional, which my wife refuses to acknowledge. Now she and her mother are even madder at me for throwing the uniform into the neighbour’s garbage,’ he wrote.
Thousands of people commended the dad for protecting his daughter and slammed the grandmother for her behaviour, many even labeling it abusive.
‘I applaud you standing up for and protecting your daughter,’ one man said.
‘Granny seems determined to psychologically damage your daughter, in spite of your best efforts to be a responsible parent,’ another chimed in.
‘You’re doing your best to protect your daughter from an aggressive and abusive grandma,’ confirmed a third.
Others slammed the girl’s mum for failing to stand up to her mother.
‘You don’t have a MIL problem. You have a wife problem. It’s time for you and your wife to have an honest discussion about how she views your daughter’s weight,’ one woman said.
‘OP has a HUGE problem at home if wife agrees or treats this 14 year old girl like grandma. Grandma and wife are fine with giving this 14 year old teen insecurities, eating disorders and needing years of therapy,’ another added.
‘This is the kind of maternal neglect that ends with kids turning to self harm. It needs to be addressed quickly and firmly,’ added another.
While some said the mum probably doesn’t see the harm in her mum’s behaviour because she is ‘so used to it’.
The father said he threw the gift out – sparking outrage from his wife and her mother
‘The wife is probably the first victim of MIL’s diet culture brainwashing, which I suspect is why the wife is having difficulty seeing the actions for being as harmful as they are,’ one woman said.
‘I think the wife needs some compassion but also therapy and self reflection to start unpacking some of her own issues/experiences with MIL and her antics,’ she added.
Some people said they had similar experiences with the own women in their lives.
‘I’ve spent my life with a mother who views my weight as a problem, a sign she failed, and about the worst thing in the world. She’s getting a little better, but I’m in my 40’s. I starved/purged myself until I couldn’t lay on my stomach because my hip bones stuck out too far and I still “wasn’t thin enough to have an eating disorder”,’ one woman said.
Some people sided with the wife and told the father he should have communicated with her before carrying out his plans.
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