A man claims that he discovered his wife of ten years was cheating on him with several men when he saw messages from her other partners on her Facebook account that she had accidentally left open.
Seth Megow, 33, from Valdosta, Georgia, married his wife Crissy at just 19 and says his ‘blood boiled’ when he found out about the affairs.
He revealed on website Love What Matters that his marriage was amazing for the first eight years, however his wife’s behavior then started to change; he said she sometimes wouldn’t come home all night and, having she was suddenly hard to communicate with, despite the couple previously having a very strong bond.
However, the night she left her Facebook page open on their computer was when he realized the extent of her cheating. He found messages from flings and also someone she was in a one year relationship with.
Posting his account on the blog, which recounts different love stories he said: ‘I’m just a guy who was married to my best friend for 10 years that discovered multiple affairs towards the end of our marriage. We had eight amazing years together and two years of hell.’
The night Seth’s wife (second left) left her Facebook page open on their computer was when he realised the extent of her cheating
Talking about when he saw the Facebook messages he said: ‘It was in that moment, I realized the extent of it all. There were multiple affairs happening.
‘My best guess about it all was she suffered from postpartum depression and struggled with some slight substance abuse, which led to an initial affair.’
Before this their relationship was a very different story and he claims that they had the upmost respect and trust for each other.
He wrote on the piece: ‘It was a truly serene relationship filled with joy and trust. We fell in love, got married at 19, worked our way through college together, went on adventures, volunteered in the community side by side.
‘Had four beautiful kids, bought a home together, had an extremely healthy physical intimacy, counseled other young married couples and supported each other’s dreams. When I say there was a lot of trust, I’m underselling it.’
But after eight years and having four kids, Stevie, Neela, Titus and Olive, together he said: ‘As anyone who has been through relationship infidelity can tell you, something just felt off. We were still going strong.
Seth Megow, 33, from Valdosta, Georgia, married his wife at just 19 and says that the marriage was amazing for the first eight years
‘In my mind, I figured it was just the stress of work, raising four kids, or our new home that was giving me these flickers of concern.
He started to look into where she was going late and night but he said: ‘Of course at that point, it was almost impossible to have an easy sit-down conversation about it. She was in avoidance mode, and I was in detective mode.’
But after a few months she just stopped coming home altogether and also changed her social media passwords.
‘It was just me and the kids, but she just stayed out “with friends.” She began to take extra steps to cover her tracks. Always one step ahead of me.
‘When we were around each other, she password locked her phone and started paying for things in cash so I couldn’t get any information from the bank statements.
‘It’s easy to say looking back that I should have just let her go then. But at that point I still had some trust left in her. Trying to describe that situation is nearly impossible, but if I had to try, it would be: My brain was telling me: “Look at the facts. She hides her phone at night, pays for everything in cash, and spends the night out multiple times a week.”
The dad-of-four says that he is trying to build up his self worth again after the cheating and break up
‘On the other hand, my heart was telling me: “She would never cheat. We are beyond close and each other’s true best friend. I’m sure this is just a big misunderstanding.” It was all a giant tug of war between my head and my heart. A back and forth between the facts and the feelings. ‘
But it wasn’t until he stumbled on the numerous messages from one night stand and a year long boyfriend on her open Facebook that he knew for sure.
He said: ‘She left her Facebook page open (she changed the password a year prior), and I saw the messages. It was in that moment, I realized the extent of it all. There were multiple affairs happening.’
But it was the long term boyfriend that hurt him the most: ‘That’s because she shared much more than her body with him… she shared her heart. That’s what hurts the most about affairs.
‘More than the breaking of trust, the physical act of breaking the covenant, the stolen money, it was the casualness in which she gave away that emotional bond we had.’So now both my head and my heart knew the truth.’
Seth (pictured with his children) said that the physical intimacy with his wife was healthy, they communicated and never lied to each other – even about small things
Angry at her affairs he said he felt cheated for all the years he spent with her: ‘It was me who woke up in the middle of the night, placed the babies at her breast to eat then burping them and changing their diaper so she could sleep.
‘I’m the one would worked in a burning hot warehouse loading trucks to support the family, so she could finish her Master’s Degree.’
The dad-of-four says that he is trying to build up his self worth again after the break up, but admitted it was hard: ‘I felt so betrayed and crushed. If my absolute closest friend in the world didn’t see the value in me, why would anyone? My self-worth and self-confidence bottomed out.
‘She tried to console me. She would say, “You are still great. I’ve just changed. People get divorced all the time. Just let me move on with my life, and you move on with yours.”
He went on to say that none of us can control the depression that comes from heartbreak or how other people behave. However he said: ‘We can control how we react. Of course trust is shattered or our relationship ends, depression sinks in, our emotions are a bit unpredictable, but we choose what impact that has on our lives.’
He also reveals on his blog Who put me Ipad in the dishwasher that he’s moving on with his life – making his children the priority and he is currently moving into a new home.