A heartbroken father, who shared his four-year-old daughter’s pain and suffering as she battled cancer through a harrowing photograph that captured hearts around the world, has today revealed he kept her body at home for 24 hours after she died.
Andy Whelan, 31, from Oswaldtwistle, Lancashire, released a black and white image of Jessica grimacing and crying during chemotherapy to treat her neuroblastoma.
Just three weeks later she passed away on Sunday November 20 at 7am.
Speaking for the first time, exclusively to MailOnline, since losing his ‘daddy’s girl’, Mr Whelan said he and his partner, Nicky Prendergrast, 29, made the decision that Jessica should spend her final night in her own bed after she died. It allowed him to cuddle up to her and also read her favourite story to her.
Mr Whelan has struggled with deep depression since losing Jessica but said he treasures these last few hours.
‘With her passing on a Sunday, there wasn’t a lot of knowledge as to what was going to happen and the last thing we wanted was for her to be taken on a Sunday just to be laid on a slab in an environment we don’t know.
‘We had family that wanted to come down and say their goodbyes in the comfort of our home and our surroundings, not a funeral home and coffin.
‘On the Sunday evening I read her favourite story to her and we were able to cuddle up to her.’
Jessica’s body was picked up at 11.30am the next day. She was taken to Manchester University Hospital for a post-mortem to check she was healthy enough to donate her tissue towards a cure.
Mr Whelan, who is now backing a World Child Cancer campaign to raise awareness of a disparity in treatment across the world.
Here he shares the turmoil he and his family have faced in the last 10 months as they cope with the loss of Jessica. Mr Whelan reveals he has battled depression and suffered from nightmares.
He also confesses he is tormented by milestones and why the distressing image of her agony will forever serve be a permanent reminder that he and his partner made the right decision to end her treatment and let her go.
Andy Whelan, 31, from Oswaldtwistle, Lancashire, released the black and white image of Jessica, whose bravery captured hearts around the world, grimacing in pain as she struggled against the terminal disease last November
She was robbed of her life on Sunday, November 20 at 7am, just three weeks after the harrowing snap was taken during chemotherapy to treat her neuroblastoma. Mr Whelan has had a long, gripping battle with depression since her death
Jessica’s last weeks were spent being nursed by her parents and sleeping alongside them
‘For the last few number of weeks we had moved her into our old bedroom and reshuffled it so she could be budged up alongside ours to sleep directly next to me.
‘We spoke in regards to us keeping her at home until the Monday so that we could spend that final time with her before she was taken from us.
‘So on the day she passed away, we moved her bed back into her bedroom and set everything back up again.
‘We had spent a lot of time with her in the final weeks and days at our bedside, but we thought it was only right that she was able to spend one final night in her bedroom.’
Battling tears, he added: ‘It’s hard to gauge, but when she first passed away there was almost a sense of relief because she’d been through so much, especially in those final two weeks.
‘The day she actually passed away, we’d almost been praying, begging for her to go to sleep and not wake up.’
Speaking for the first time since, Mr Whelan, who honed his photography skills as an escape from his gut-wrenching reality, said he and his partner, Nicky Prendergrast, 29, wanted her to spend her final night in her own bed
Getting clearance to keep her at home to give family the chance to pay their final respects, Mr Whelan was able to spend one last precious evening with ‘daddy’s little girl’ and treasure her very last moments
Gripped by depression, tormented by nightmares and haunted by milestones
Ten months after the death of his daughter, Mr Whelan, who is a second year photography student at Blackburn University, is only now beginning to come to terms with her death.
In the time that has passed, he has been gripped by depression, tormented by nightmares of Jessica in some of her worst moments and had to endure hard milestones – of her birthday and his.
Only when he feels strong enough is he able to look at pictures of Jessica. Even videos of the youngster in the run-up to her death remain unwatched because to hear her voice saddens him.
Mr Whelan, who was only getting five hours sleep each night, told MailOnline: ‘We’re starting to get over that [her death] now. Obviously I’ve been through things in life before, but nothing like this.
‘This wasn’t just bad moods, this was a severe depression that no matter what I did, I couldn’t physically get up and do things, I was just functioning, basically surviving.’
It was only when his best friend pulled him to one side and said he needed help because he was a ‘shadow’ of his former-self that he sought help.
In May, doctors gave him antidepressants which took two months to kick in. Despite the medication, and taking up jiu jitsu to keep his mind busy, he has said he won’t ever be the same man.
Mr Whelan, who is beginning to get his energy back from such a gruelling experience, added: ‘I’m never going to feel like that fully, because Jessica was such a massive part of who I am and who I’ve become.’
‘It’s hard to remember Jessica in any kind of happy state, the good memories can be quickly taken over by the more recent ones, the pain and the suffering. There were some nightmares and dreams that would wake you up.
Mr Whelan, who is now backing a World Child Cancer campaign to raise awareness of a disparity in treatment across the world, heartbreakingly revealed how that evening he read Jessica her favourite story and cuddled up to her
He told MailOnline: ‘For the last few number of weeks we had moved her into our old bedroom and reshuffled it so she could be budged up alongside ours to sleep directly next to me’
‘It was memories of Jessica and they were almost surreal. They were of her coming to the side of my bed like she used to, but followed by flashing images of after she passed away.’
Mr Whelan added: ‘This Saturday is two years since she was diagnosed, in a couple of months it’ll be a year since she passed away, so we are going to hit some hard milestones.
We had family that wanted to come down and say their goodbyes in the comfort of our home and our surroundings, not a funeral home and coffin
‘We’ve had some already, her birthday in January this year was extremely hard. So was my birthday (June 31), I didn’t even celebrate because I couldn’t.
‘I couldn’t celebrate it for my own sake at the time, because of the thoughts of last year’s birthday with Jess, and those beforehand, obviously had a big impact.’
Mr Whelan is now backing a World Child Cancer campaign to highlight what children can achieve if they are given the gift of growing up.
Anyone wanting to donate to Stop the Childhood Cancer Clock initiative can do so here or by texting ‘GROW35’ to 70070.
‘WE TOOK THE PHOTO TO REMIND US WE MADE THE RIGHT DECISION’
Mr Whelan never intended to publish the harrowing picture that went viral and touched the hearts of strangers across the world, from Colombia to Russia, weeks before Jessica’s death in November last year.
Instead, he and his partner released the candid photograph to remind themselves the decision to stop treatment early was the right one – to rid her of the unbearable discomfort she had to endure.
Doctors said the treatment she was undergoing would have prolonged her life by a couple of precious months – but Mr Whelan said the physical cost wasn’t worth it.
He told MailOnline: ‘I didn’t set out to take the photo that has become so well known, it was a moment of her being in massive amounts of discomfort.
Mr Whelan and his partner released the candid photograph to remind themselves the decision to stop Jessica’s treatment early was the right one
‘In all honesty, we were never going to publish that, it was taken because we had some extra decision to stop her treatment. It wasn’t working anyway, but we could have prolonged her life by a month or two, but at what physical cost to her?
‘I wanted to capture the moment of her in pain, so if we ever had any doubts in the future, we could look back on that record and know we made the right decision and remind ourselves of what she went through.’
Jessica was diagnosed with a stage four neuroblastoma in September 2015 – despite doctors initially blaming a bone infection for the pain she had to endure in her arms and shoulders.
Her treatment was stopped last October, in a desperate attempt to allow her to enjoy whatever time she had left, and doctors gave her just weeks to live.
Even a clinical drug trial was unable to stop the tumour from ravaging her body, prompting doctors to turn their attention to treatment that would prolong her life – not cure her.
The family had aimed to raise £20,000, but the target was smashed in a matter of hours after the photograph – which her father described as the ‘true face of cancer’ – was published on Jessica’s blog, which now has 136,000 followers.
Mr Whelan was bombarded with more than 3,000 emails, Facebook messages and texts from well-wishers all over the world since the photograph was published, including former One Direction star Harry Styles who granted her dying wish of recording a video message for her.
Jessica was diagnosed with a stage four neuroblastoma in September 2015 – despite doctors initially blaming a bone infection for the pain she had to endure in her arms and shoulders
Her treatment was stopped last October, in a desperate attempt to allow her to enjoy whatever time she had left, and doctors gave her just weeks to live. She passed away on November 20
Even a clinical drug trial was unable to stop the tumour from ravaging her small body, prompting doctors to turn their attention to treatment that would prolong Jessica’s life – not cure her of the disease
Mr Whelan, who now has 136,000 followers on Jessica’s memorial Facebook page, posted the candid photo to raise awareness of childhood cancer
Within 24 hours of publishing Jessica’s photo in November, it reached half a million people. The outpouring of empathy, from kind-hearted strangers dotted around the world, including Colombia and Russia, was overwhelming
Mr Whelan was bombarded with more than 3,000 emails, Facebook messages and texts from well-wishers all over the world since the photograph was published, including former One Direction star Harry Styles who granted her dying wish of recording a video message for her
Ten months on from her death, Mr Whelan, who is a second year photography student at Blackburn University, is only just starting to get over it. In the time that has passed, he has battled severe depression and suffered vivid nightmares of Jessica
After her death, Mr Whelan suffered nightmares. He said that all of his memories of Jessica, who endured excruciating pain, came back to haunt him
Mr Whelan said: ‘At first, it was hard to remember Jessica not being there. All the memories I had were of her being ill, some of the worst moments – they come back and haunt you, those’
Mr Whelan is now backing a World Child Cancer campaign to highlight what children can achieve if they are given the gift of growing up
Mr Whelan, whose images of his daughter moved the world last year, has teamed up with the World Child Cancer appeal
The powerful photo series, taken by Mr Whelan, shows the incredible things children can achieve if they are given the gift of growing up (Max, aged one, dreams of becoming a zoo keeper when he grows up)
Children from across the UK dressed as doctors, scientists, chefs, stylists and zoo keepers to demonstrate the limitless opportunities that cancer can take away from millions across the world