A former sorority sister has lifted the lid on how ‘twisted and screwed up’ Greek life can be as she recounted how she was repeatedly ‘censored’ and ‘slut-shamed’ before being pushed out by her sisters.
TikTok user @loljj_, who goes by JJ, opens up about the time she spent in the Kappa Alpha chapter of Kappa Delta at Florida State University in a viral video that has has been viewed more than 3.5 million times.
In the clip, she details how a fellow sorority sister claimed she was found naked and passed out on a couch in a fraternity house. Instead of asking her what happened to see if she had been sexually assaulted, she was reported for alleged misconduct.
Candid: TikTok user @loljj_, who goes by JJ, opened up about the time she spent in the Kappa Alpha chapter of Kappa Delta at Florida State University in a viral video
Story: JJ, pictured in college, recounted how she was ‘censored’ and ‘slut-shamed’ before being pushed out by her fellow sisters less than a year after she received her bid in 2017
‘I’ve stayed quiet for a lot of years, but I’d like to share my story on the incredibly twisted and screwed up world of Panhellenic Greek life,’ she says, explaining she received her bid from the Kappa Alpha chapter of Kappa Delta at Florida State University in the fall of 2017.
‘While I was in the chapter, I experienced some of the most extreme displays of elitism, censorship of social media, and slut-shaming that I’ve ever seen.’
JJ says in mid-March of 2018, she was called to appear in from of the Standards Board, a disciplinary body that hears allegations of misconduct within the chapter.
‘Other girls can write letters to the board about what they think you did wrong,’ she explains, recalling how the board of her peers sat her down to read two letters that were written by two of her ‘sisters’ in the chapter.
Problems: JJ said in mid-March of 2018, she was called to appear in from of the Standards Board, a disciplinary body that hears allegations of misconduct within the chapter
‘The first one essentially accusing me of being self-centered and a slut,’ she says. ‘In the second one, a sister claimed she saw me naked, passed out on the couch in the middle of a fraternity house — a claim that’s not true, but I was never asked my side of the story.
‘I was never asked if I was hurt or victimized,’ she adds. ‘Instead, they tried to put me on national probation, saying it was important that they keep their relationship with that fraternity.’
Allegations: A fellow sorority sister had claimed JJ was found naked and passed out on a couch in a fraternity house
JJ didn’t elaborate on what had actually happened, but she alluded to the incident in her caption.
‘I was never asked if I was hurt. I was never told, “The girl shouldn’t have left you there.” I was shamed and left alone,’ she wrote.
JJ says she ended up dropping out of the sorority that spring, noting that leaving was not entirely of her own accord.
The video has received thousands of comments, which have been a mix of people defending Greek life and condemning it.
‘I was in Greek life at FSU, this shocks me 0%,’ one person wrote, while another agreed: ‘Also a former member of FSU Greek life and this is exactly what my KD friends have said.’
‘People forget that just because their sorority/frat experience was great, the foundation itself was built on all of this horrible stuff,’ someone else pointed out.
In a follow-up video, she details how her sorority would drill it into their heads that they needed to be ‘wife material.’ JJ, who has since come out as a lesbian, was being told this at a time when she ‘secreted wanted a wife’ herself.
What? ‘I was never asked if I was hurt or victimized,’ JJ said. ‘They tried to put me on national probation, saying it was important that they keep their relationship with that fraternity’
‘The sorority I was in has this very strange obsession with the reputation of being classy, respectable ladies, and multiple times during chapter meetings they would sit us down and essentially yell at us, telling us that we needed to act more like “wife material,”‘ she recalls.
‘We were pushed into this trope more times than I can count. They would say things like, “Men come to KD to find who they’re going to marry,” and even sometimes shame other sororities, saying, “That’s who they go to when they want to sleep around.”‘
JJ also shares how her sorority had an ‘old white lady’ speak to them about ‘professionalism.’ She says the woman just showed them PowerPoint photos that she had taken of other women without their knowledge
‘She made fun of them and explained why we shouldn’t do the things that they were doing,’ she recounts.
Issues: In a follow-up video, she detailed how her sorority would drill it into their heads that they needed to be ‘wife material’
Just saying: JJ pointed out that anyone who ‘has found happiness and family in sororities’ should be some of the strongest advocates for fixing the system
‘All of these were superficial things, like how you should and shouldn’t be dressing, which if you ask me, is ironic behavior for someone who is supposed to be talking about professionalism.’
JJ later filmed a video addressing some of the comments she has received, many of which were supportive and from sorority members, but she has also been told that ‘not all sororities are bad.’
‘I totally respect the fact that some women have found their homes in sororities,’ she says. ‘However, this is a systemic issue. It’s bigger than individual sisters. Issues like how the Standards Board functions are written into sorority life. It has nothing to do with the individual intent of the girl in the sorority.
‘Many of the girls in my KD chapter were kind, smart, independent, and strong-willed, and many of which have reached out to me,’ she notes. ‘But this just goes to show that no matter how well-intended these individuals were, they could not protect me from a system that has a lot of issues.’
JJ points out that anyone who ‘has found happiness and family in sororities’ should be some of the strongest advocates for fixing the system.
‘When people love something, they recognize its flaws so they can make it better,’ she explains. ‘Whether you like it or not, there is a rampant issue of systemic racism, classism, and sexism that exists in sororities.’