Former call girl Samantha X reveals the five things most likely to turn men off in the bedroom

When my editor wanted the top turn offs for men, I thought about emailing back a blank page. 

Because when it comes to sex, there isn’t much you could do to put a man off.

Before you erupt in indignation, I’m not saying men don’t have standards. I’m merely pointing out when sex is offered on a plate to a man, you’d be hard pushed to hear them say ‘not tonight love, I don’t like your lip gloss.’

Men love sex; more than that, they need it. I wrote in my first book ‘Hooked’ that men need sex like women need a good foundation. 

I know men that can’t concentrate at work, can’t function normally unless they have regular sex. I wouldn’t say their lust rules their lives, but sex and their desire for it is the biggest downfall of powerful men.

So, we know what men want in bed in my previous column. What about what they don’t want? 

Even in my previous role as ‘Australia’s most famous escort’, I’ve had to ask a few men for this one. Even they were scratching their heads. Here’s what I’ve come up with, feel free to voice your own:

Too much fake tan and make up

Women can dress how they please, they can wear as much tanning lotion and make up as they want. We are doing it for ourselves. 

If you’re doing it to impress a man, save your expensive products for another occasion – they hate it. It smells, it gets the sheets dirty and one man even complained he had fake tan stains on his nose after kissing his lover. 

They want to see and smell the real you. They want to see your face without make up; no one likes a shock in the morning. 

Bottom line is don’t be afraid of showing him who you are. While hygiene is vital, a natural body smell is sexy. Men love your natural odour over perfumed floral soap any day of the week. 

Samantha X listed talking too much during sex, being needy, and using too much makeup as several of the biggest turn offs men have in the bedroom

Talking too much during sex

A bit of dirty talk is fine, but yelling explicit demands throughout the whole session might be going too far. 

A few sexy lines will turn him on but a whole X-rated dialogue and the pressure may be overbearing, and you may lose his interest – and his erection. 

Men need to concentrate on the act on hand here and I’m not saying they can’t do two things at once but… keep it short and keep it sexy. 

Another one: baby talk. I don’t need to explain why. 

Being too clean-shaven 

This one may surprise you because it surprised me. I’ve had more men tell me they prefer hair down there than not. While women may prefer the Brazilian wax or laser for neatness, more than a few men have told me they prefer a womanlier look and want us to Bring Back the Bush. 

Faking your orgasms

Remember that scene in When Harry Met Sally? Almost 100 per cent of men would have no idea if you’re faking an orgasm. 

Think you can tell? You can’t. That’s how good women are at it. 

For women: you don’t need to fake ‘yes yes yes’ – you owe it to yourself and your partner to be authentic and genuine. 

Sex is supposed to pleasurable for both of you; it’s not just about the male orgasm. Men want to please you; they want to make you happy in bed and no one likes a faker. 

‘Neediness a huge turn off for both sexes. There is nothing sexy about constantly needing reassurance,’ wrote Samantha X

Constantly asking them if they love you

Neediness a huge turn off for both sexes. There is nothing sexy about constantly needing reassurance. 

If you’re feeling insecure, workshop it with girlfriends or a therapist. Don’t dump it on him, expecting him to reassure you every five minutes. 

It will never be enough and it’s unhealthy for any relationship, plus it’s far from sexy. 

Despite these turns offs, most men will still most likely never turn down an opportunity for sex. 

For women on the other hand, one little thing and it’s over for us…it’s a long list so I’d better start writing.