Gillian Anderson says it took years to find her voice in relationships

Gillian Anderson says she still struggles to put her needs first and exercise self care in her relationships.

The actress, 54, admits it’s taken years for her to find her voice and speak up without fear of offending people, and insists she still struggles to find the courage to do so today.

Looking back at situations she found herself in the past, she told the Women’s Prize for Fiction Podcast: ‘When I was younger, the amount of situations that I put myself in, knowing it was a bad idea.

‘Oh my God, the voice of reason and self care on my shoulder, saying, “Back away from take a step back.” 

‘I did listen and I still struggle with it which is ridiculous. I’m incredibly outspoken, and feel like I’m too outspoken most of the time.

‘I stand up for myself and my needs and what I want, and what is fair. I find myself sometimes clamming up or shining a verbal light on something because I’m afraid of hurting somebody’s feelings, afraid they’ll be angry with me. 

‘Even though I know what I need to say is important and true, and something that I need, and I just I It boggles my mind why those two things can coexist. 

‘I could be both of those women and I think it’s a lifelong challenge. I’m really old and I’ve been struggling with it for a long time, and I don’t imagine it ending anytime soon.’

Gillian is launching a new project in the form of a book called Dear Gillian in which she hopes to explore and empower the sex lives of women across the globe, with the Sex Education star asking females to submit anonymous letter divulging their fantasies.’

It comes after Gillian sparked speculation she’s rekindled her romance with The Crown creator Peter Morgan after the pair were spotted walking hand-in-hand in London together.

Peter was a writer on series four of the Netflix show in 2016, in which Gillian starred as late Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

Gillian and the 59-year-old screenwriter dated for four years before they went their separate ways in 2020.

The split was reportedly amicable, with suggestions their highly demanding work schedules played a part in the relationship ending.  

Back on? It comes after Gillian sparked speculation she’s rekindled her romance with The Crown creator Peter Morgan (pictured in 2020)

Within weeks of their split Peter was dating film-maker Jemima Khan but the pair called it quits by February 2021.

While the pair put on a cosy display during their stroll through the UK capital, the pair never lived together while they were dating.

Gillian once told The Guardian: ‘My partner and I don’t live together. If we did, that would be the end of us. It works so well as it is and it feels so special when we do come together.

‘There is nothing locking us in, nothing that brings up that fear of, “Oh gosh, I can’t leave because what will happen to the house, how will we separate?”

‘I start to miss the person I want to be with, which is a lovely feeling.’

While they worked together on The Crown, they decided not to talk about work while they were first together for the sake of their relationship.

Gillian told TV Week: ‘We made a pact that we weren’t going to talk about it at all.

‘I wasn’t allowed to talk with him or express opinions about the scripts, and he wasn’t allowed to express opinions about my performance.

‘Somehow we managed to stick to it which is unbelievable because neither of us can keep from expressing our opinions the rest of the time!’  

American star Gillian, who played Margaret Thatcher in series four of Netflix drama The Crown, attended the show’s series five premiere at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, last November.

A source at the time said: ‘She and Peter are good friends again, and she was there to support him. It’s not clear whether this extends into a romance they are a very private pair.’

Tome: Gillian is launching a new project in the form of a book called Dear Gillian in which she hopes to explore and empower the sex lives of women across the globe (pictured in November last year)