When John Bercow rose to his feet shortly after 3.30 yesterday afternoon you could tell by his body language this was a moment he had been itching for all day.
As he surveyed the chamber with that sense of propriety which has become his staple in the Speaker’s chair, his face twitching with bristly anticipation, it was obvious this was to be no mundane procedural announcement.
What spewed forth from his mouth for the next twenty minutes of rhetorical windbaggery was met with incredulity on all sides of the House.
No forewarning had been given to any party what he was going to say.
The Prime Minister, the Leader of the Opposition – they were all hearing it, like us, in real time.
Speaker John Bercow addressing MPs in the House of Commons, London where he has ruled out another vote on Theresa May’s Brexit withdrawal agreement if the motion is substantially the same as last time
Labour couldn’t believe their luck. The Government simply couldn’t believe what it was hearing. If Mrs May’s deal is to be put before the House for a third time, the Speaker ruled citing a Commons precedent from 1604, then it would have to be substantially different to the one MPs voted on last week. She could not simply ask members to vote on exactly the same deal.
Bang! An Exocet rocket straight to the core of what remained the Prime Minister’s Brexit strategy. No wonder Bercow was smirking.
Chief whip Julian Smith was so stunned his lower jaw was hanging open. Someone on the front bench really needed to lean over and pop it back up again.
It was obvious this was to be no mundane procedural announcement
Once again the Government had been done over by the chair. Frustrating ministers and torpedoeing Brexit. These are what get John Bercow out of bed in the morning. Rules? Procedure? The chap just seems to make ’em up as he goes along.
The Speaker had been on unusually boisterous form for a Monday moments before making his statement during Pensions Questions.
He bantered with backbenchers. He joshed with his clerks. Plonked in the Speaker’s throne, his stumpy legs hammered up and down his footstool excitedly like a naughty toddler in a highchair.
When news emerged he would be making a statement once the session had finished it was swiftly obvious from his giddy behaviour the little goblin planned to drop a howitzer on the Government.
The House quickly filled as MPs rushed to hear what he had to say. How he seemed to enjoy that. He then rose to feet, clutching a stack of paper half an inch thick. Oh heck, we weren’t getting out of here in a hurry.
Once again the Government had been done over by the chair. Frustrating ministers and torpedoeing Brexit
Here was the Speaker at his despotic worst. Putting himself at the centre of events and turning it into the John Bercow show, painting himself as Parliament’s fearless defender.
‘Part of the responsibility of the Speaker is to speak truth to power and I have always done that… I have never been pushed around and I am not going to start now… I am not a stickler for tradition but…’ I, I, I. Me, me, me. His oration became so florid and absurd at one point, works and pensions secretary Amber Rudd had to stifle her matronly giggles. The arch-Brexiteers were delighted. Sir William Cash (Con, Stone in Staffordshire) congratulated the Speaker on his judgment, saying his decision ‘made an awful lot of sense’.
Bercow returned the compliment, praising Mr Cash for always trying to act in the national interest. Priti Patel gave a beaming Cash a ‘well done’ pat on the back. Pass the sickbag stuff.
Jacob Rees-Mogg (Con, Somerset North) commended the Speaker for following protocol, quoting from the Bible: ‘There is more joy in Heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.’ Bercow grinned and nodded his head enthusiastically. I’m not sure he realised this was a dig.
Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May is seen at Downing Street, in London today
Sir Hugo Swire (Con, East Devon) asked not unreasonably why the Speaker had made this call now, and not last week when it was clear Mrs May was going to try again. Tsk. And give the PM the weekend to adjust her preparations? Where would the fun have been in that?
Leader of the House and Bercow nemesis Andrea Leadsom briefly punctured his balloon when she coolly implied he couldn’t be trusted to treat colleagues with courtesy and respect. Cue collective sucking of wind around the chamber.
‘I treat the House with respect, I treat members with respect!’ The Speaker boomed, jabbing his forefinger at his accuser. Background: Bercow once called feisty Leadsom a ‘stupid woman’. Funnily enough, a caller to Rees-Mogg’s phone-in show on LBC earlier that morning had pre-empted Bercow’s ruling.
Samina from Tooting she was called. She had phoned to enquire why Mrs May was being allowed a third crack at her vote, asking: ‘Isn’t this tactic specifically barred to stop the Government from bullying the legislature. Shouldn’t this be ruled out of order?’
‘A brilliant question,’ purred the Moggster, referring her to page 397 of the Parliamentary rule book, Erksine May.
Samina certainly seemed to know her way around Parliamentary procedure rather better than your average LBC punter, traditionally a forum for London cab drivers and the over-opinionated. Could it have been Jacob’s nanny in disguise?