Take sports lessons from the best
Among the ‘acceptable’ sport tutors Tatler recommends is Zara Tindall (pictured)
If getting fit is on your radar for the New Year, it’s going to take more than a gentle jog around the park if you’re to mix in high society.
According to Tatler, whatever sport you decide to take up, it’s ‘the bells and whistles that really count’ – and that involves hiring yourself a top notch trainer.
Among the ‘acceptable’ tutors they recommend are former Wimbledon champion Andy Murray (for tennis lessons) and the Queen’s granddaughter Zara Tindall (for horseriding).
The society bible also recommends investing in the most ‘elaborate, top-of-the-range’ kit you can get your hands on, and installing a state-of-the-art gym in your own home.
Become a world-leading philanthropist
According to Tatler, philanthropy is ‘so 2020’ – and what better way to embrace this trend than following in Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s footsteps by launching a charitable foundation?
That’s just one of the suggestions offered up by the society bible for boosting your social clout. Whatever you do, the advice is to ‘think big’; it also suggests turning your stately home into a refuge for the homeless, or establishing an endangered animal sanctuary in its grounds.
Embrace a new language
Embracing a new language involves immersing yourself in the country’s culture, according to Tatler. Pictured: the French Riviera
This, according to Tatler, will take more than downloading an app or enrolling for a few lessons.
It recommends ‘full immersion’ in your desired new language, which can be achieved by a month-long trip to the French Riviera, should you wish to improve your Français.
The magazine also suggests travelling to Puerto Rico and indulging in piña coladas as you hone your Spanish.
Visit a diet clinic
Regular at home diets are so 2019, it seems, as Tatler suggests heading to an exclusive clinic if you want to mix with society’s biggest players.
It recommends the Viva Mayr and Lanserhof clinics in Austria for helping you kick off your New Year healthy eating plan – where you’ll be fed ‘minute doses of mysterious superfoods and monitored, analysed and critiqued like the disappointing specimen you are’, all at great expense.
Eschew Dry January
If you wish to be considered one of high society’s elite, don’t even think about doing Dry January. Pictured: stock image
If you wish to be considered one of high society’s elite, don’t even think about giving up booze next month.
Rather, Tatler encourages you to defy the masses and ’embrace drunken revelry and all the scandal it incites’.
Presumably only if you quaff vintage Champers and fine wine.
Learn to meditate from a monk
For the social overachievers, meditation techniques can only be gleaned from the masters. So, Tatler recommends booking into a Buddhist monastery for a silent retreat – ideally in the Tibetan mountains.
It suggests you’ll come away feeling ‘as virtuous and worldly as the monks themselves’.
Find a glamorous new partner
Finally, it may be time to upgrade your other half, if they’re not seen as an ‘adequate trophy partner’.
According to Tatler, ‘everyone knows that the ultimate status symbol is an impressive significant other’.
So, if you want to fraternise in high society, aim to bag yourself a Silicon Valley tech millionaire, a world virtuoso musician or an eccentric foreign aristocrat.
There is also ‘extra credit’ available if you’ve recently been through a high profile divorce.