A woman has revealed she is thankful to her now ex-husband for ‘gaslighting’ her into believing their family was ‘broke’.
In a lengthy post on Whimn, Karen detailed her 16-year marriage to her ex-husband Toby, who she said led her to believe they were struggling to make ends meet for the duration of their relationship.
She said her childhood sweetheart, who was the family breadwinner, discouraged her from working, despite claiming he only earned $55,000 a year.
The mother-of-three said it was not until Toby told her he wasn’t in love with her anymore and requested a divorce that she learned he had been stocking away hundreds of thousands of dollars and owned property in the Hunter Valley in NSW.
Karen became an expert of feeding a family of five for $20 while she was married to Toby (stock image)
Karen was ‘gaslighted’ by her husband into believing they were struggling to put food on the table (stock image)
Karen said while she was married to Toby she was given an allowance to buy groceries and necessities for their three children, with nothing left over for little luxuries.
She detailed in the publication how Toby became upset with her when she asked to replace their broken couch, or when she ‘splurged’ on salmon and cashew nuts.
Their budget woes often led her to ask friends for money so she could buy toiletries.
‘I was great at finding bargains in second-hand stores and thrift shops and I was an expert at feeding a family of five with $20 when I had to,’ she wrote.
Despite her thrifty ways, Karen said Toby often accused her of spending everything he earned.
‘I felt dreadful after that and assumed that I was the reason we never did anything socially or bought new things,’ Karen said.
‘The thing that really made me realise we were financially struggling was when my sister was getting married interstate and Toby said there was no way we could afford my $200 airfare.’
What Karen didn’t realise that while she was struggling to feed their kids, Toby had thousands of dollars stashed away in a secret account.
She finally found out the truth about her husband’s healthy bank balance after he requested a divorce when their eldest child turned 16.
After her husband asked for a divorce, Karen discovered he had a secret property in the Hunter Valley, where he was part-owner of a winery (stock image)
Although Toby told her not to hire a lawyer because he could handle their ‘financial split’, Karen said she did so upon the request of her friends.
That’s when the ‘bombshell’ hit, she said.
Her lawyer soon discovered Toby had a secret account stashed away with money transfers of $70,000 and some of $100,000.
He also revealed Toby owned a house in the Hunter Valley region, where he was part-owner of a winery and had a significant amount of shares.
Despite the lies, Karen says she’s grateful to her former husband as not only does she now have a ‘substantial fortune’, the marriage taught her how to budget.
While Karen was struggling to feed their kids, Toby had thousands of dollars stashed away in a secret account which he was saving for a property in the Hunter Valley region in NSW (pictured)