A frustrated mum has declared she ‘f**ked up as a parent’ by giving her children everything and making every moment as special as possible.
Taking to Reddit the mum-of-two complained she’s over her kids’ sense of entitlement and admitted it’s completely her fault.
She explained she’s a cycle-breaking parent and wanted to give her children, who are three and seven, the life she never had – but didn’t realise it would make them ungrateful.
‘I’ve given them everything because it made me feel like I was giving myself everything. But I wasn’t. I was just taking more on and not teaching them what real life is,’ she said.
She has decided, and her husband agrees, it is time for her kids to ‘be bored’.
‘No more finding extraordinary fun every day. No more ‘play places are the norm’ or ‘sure you can have that toy from the store on this random Saturday’. Instead, we are going to do chores. We are going to be bored,’ she said.
A frustrated mum has declared she ‘f**ked up as a parent’ by giving her children everything and making every moment as special as possible
Adding that’s the only way she can think of to bring her kids back to reality.
‘I’m tired of the entitlement, the non-gratitude. I’m tired. And we need to deal with the tantrums that come from having to do chores and be bored, because otherwise we are doing these children a disservice,’ she said.
The post ‘blew up’ making the mum clarify a few things.
‘I am not talking about punishing my kids with chores. We are not a punishment-based family,’ she said.
And defended her decision to highlight life as mostly boring.
‘To those of you saying that life is not mostly boring and not mostly not getting what you want… I would argue that life is not like that for you because you have learned how to make your life “not mostly boring” and how to pursue what you want.
‘Life is mostly boring…unless you learn how to make life not boring. Because nobody is going to just come and make your life not boring.’
People congratulated the mum for ‘realising her mistakes early’.
‘And you didn’t f*ck up, by the way…they won’t even remember it. It’s a good reminder for us all…for those of us who cram and overstimulate our kids all the time, and for those of us who feel guilty for not doing enough,’ one person said.
‘Boredom begets imagination and ideas. We are robbing them of this if they don’t have the downtime to stop and think once in a while.’
Others said they had done the same – after being nagged by ‘the grandparents’ to be ever-present for their kids, despite it not being achievable in reality.
‘Grandparents can say that because they are remembering the highlight reel and confusing it with every day. Out of 100 memories if 80 are of trips and vacations and fun outings, that’s because they’ve forgotten the 6494 other days that were just … eat meals play outside do laundry regular days,’ one person said.
Most people had fond memories of playing on their own – while their parents worked or cleaned the house.
‘I would play with my dolls, making towns out of VHS tapes or whatever I could find.’
Even professionals agreed the mum had made a good decision to wind-back her kids’ entertainment.
‘As a nanny one of my pet peeves are the parents who think their kids need to be stimulated every single second of the day. Constant activities, day trips, planning a whole curriculum for their two-year-old every day,’ said one woman.
Others agreed they had very few ‘extraordinary’ moments as children – which made them all-the-more wonderful.