I never wanted kids but my husband said it was a dealbreaker – we had them and now I’m a single mum

A TikTok user has revealed how her husband insisted they have children – before struggling to cope with parenthood and leaving the family.

Mom Update (known on TikTok as @momupdate2021) spoke about her situation in a viral video on the social media platform.

In the clip, she spoke about how she loved being an auntie, but had never felt the drive to become a mother herself.

But her husband said having a family was a dealbreaker,  and that he would be a full time father.

However, once the couple had two children, he struggled with the pressures of parenting, leaving Mom Update as a single mother.

In the video she says: ‘So, okay, I’ve got this is my confession. So before I met my husband, I told him, I don’t want to have children…I love kids. They’re so sweet. They’re cute. They’re fun. 

‘I have 17 nieces and nephews. I was like, that’s enough. I love being an auntie.’

She explains that when she got together with her partner, she felt no maternal drive, but he insisted they have children.

So, the TikTokker explains, she offered a compromise, explaining: ‘I will have the kids, right. But I will never give up my career or my way of life for our kids.

‘I’ll take care of them, and love them obviously. I knew that I wasn’t going to be a stay at home mom. 

‘And I have an expectation of the way I want my kids raised. And I told him, I don’t want them to be raised by other people. You know, I want them to be raised by mom and dad.’

She explained that she would work full time, while he took on full time parenting duties, which would include ‘grocery shopping, cleaning, taking care of the kids, running them back and forth to wherever they need to go, taking them to their appointments’. 

After she returned to work, her husband ‘quickly showed [her] he couldn’t manage it’.

After having children, her husband struggled to cope with the pressures of parenting, and now she is a single mother

She continues: ‘I was like, I told you from the beginning. I didn’t want to have kids because I didn’t want this burden, because it’s a lot… I said I’ll make sure I’ve make enough money that you don’t need to work. 

‘So now, he couldn’t even cope with that. So then I hired a nanny. And I said you can take a couple of days a week, or she’ll just help you around the house with the kids. 

‘He couldn’t cope with a nanny being in the house with him. Okay, he’s basically disappearing.’

Everything came to a head one night when the nanny left, and the husband was upstairs alone, while the couple’s children were outside playing in the street.

According to the TikTok user: ‘I was livid. I was f****** livid when I got home. I was seriously so f****** angry…I was like, you could have f****** killed our kids. Like you’re so f****** lucky that nothing happened to them. 

‘So yeah, very quickly after that, I was like, “you need to get the f**** out like you’re done”. 

Numerous commentators took to the video to share their thoughts, with many sympathising with the content creator

‘So I just find it really unfair that now this man knows all this about me. It was it was made very clear. And somehow I’ve still been left with both of our kids. And he’s not offering any support whatsoever to take care of these kids.’

The video garnered many comments, with lots of commentators sympathising with the creator’s situation.

One wrote: ‘Every one loves the idea of having kids. But some people can’t handle the responsibilities and the demanding lifestyle of actually having children.’

Another agreed, adding: ‘This is why you should never compromise when it comes to kids, a lot of ppl like the idea of kids not the reality.’

And a third wrote: ‘Same. I wanted ONE kid, he wanted more, so we had 3. He had an affair with a coworker and left. Now I’m a single mother with 3 kids.’