A first-time father has been left infuriated after finding out his wife planned to name their son after her dead ex-husband.
The man said his wife had been sneaky about their son’s name, which was her first husband’s middle name.
He revealed she had asked if she could call the baby James, after the dead man, but he had told her that it didn’t feel right to name the baby after her ex.
So they settled on the name Oliver instead.
But he didn’t realise the significance of the name until her sister spilled the beans over family dinner.
A first-time father has been left infuriated after finding out his wife planned to name their son after her dead ex-husband
I told them (the family) about the name we’ve chosen. Her sister then said ‘oh, so like James?’ and I was confused, so her sister said, ‘well, that was James’ middle name, wasn’t it?,’ he wrote in a post which has now been deleted.
‘After they all left, I told my wife I’ve had it with her trying to push her late husband into our lives like this. She said we already agreed on Oliver. I told her I’m not signing the birth certificate if she names him after her former spouse,’ he wrote.
He added the family was torn over the name and it’s link to the woman’s first love.
‘She says being insensitive, her mother says I should let it go because it was just a middle name. Her sister says it’s weird to name the baby after James in any scenario.’
The Reddit community sided with the soon-to-be dad and said it was wrong for his wife to suggest the name without context.
‘If you are going to move on and build a life with someone new, then you need to commit to that. If you don’t it’s insanely cruel in many ways to your new partner.
‘I’m not saying she needs to erase the memory of her first husband but naming your kid after him is a little too much,’ one person wrote.
Others were more brutal in their approach to the situation
‘Leave, let the dead husband carry the name and the responsibilities if he can rise from his grave,’ one person wrote.
‘If she isn’t ready to let him go then she shouldn’t be in a relationship or having a kid with someone else,’ snapped another.
Others said the conflict was grounds for divorce.
But a few sided with the woman.
‘He died, she still loves him,’ one man said.
‘I mean it ain’t like she got closure for the relationship and it’s not like they broke up he died so it makes sense to me,’ agreed another.
Others called for him to ‘compromise’ and accept James or Oliver as middle names.
The man revealed the woman’s first husband had died suddenly eight years ago.
She was pregnant with their daughter at the time but tragically suffered a miscarriage.
Another man complained his wife had wanted to do the same thing despite losing her husband 15 years earlier.
When he told her he understands wwhy she wants to name the baby after he rfirst love he didn’t feel comfortable she turned on him.
She told him he was jealous and insecure of her feelings for a dead man which he felt was unfair to say.
‘His picture is on the wall of our family pictures, we visit his grave together sometimes, his parents still come over to visit my wife sometimes. She still has her wedding ring from their wedding (she doesn’t wear it though), and wears a necklace he bought her. I am okay with all of it,’ he said.
People sided with him and said his wife needs to look at the big picture.
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