RIP Beauty.
It’s over, kaput, finished, dead.
Today’s announcement that Miss America will no longer be based on actual beauty is the final radical feminist nail in the coffin of the once much beloved practice of admiring a woman for how she looks.
Instead, we are now apparently going to tune in to appreciate the contestants’ INNER beauty – their intelligence, their philosophy on life and their thoughts on charitable work.
‘We will no longer judge our candidates on their outward physical appearance,’ said Miss America’s new ‘chairperson’ Gretchen Carlson (seven of the nine board members are now women). ‘That’s huge.’
Today’s announcement that Miss America will no longer be based on actual beauty is the final radical feminist nail in the coffin of the once much beloved practice of admiring a woman for how she looks. Miss Georgia waves to the crowd during the 2017 pageant
No Ms Carlson, that’s a huge mistake.
Within seconds of her announcement, the Miss America Twitter account tweeted a short video of a white bikini going up in smoke with the hashtag #byebyebikini.
Yes, a garment worn very happily by billions of women since 5600 BC is apparently now so toxic and repellent it must be set on fire.
Or perhaps it should be nuked to smithereens, given the modern two piece swimsuit design created by French car engineer Louis Réard was named after a place named Bikini in the Marshall Islands where testing on the atom bomb took place in 1946?
Either way, contestants being asked to demonstrate to judges their ‘passion, intelligence, and overall understanding of the job’ will replace the swimsuit section of Miss America.
An ironic move given that the organisers themselves don’t seem to have a clue what the job is about.
Ms Carlson, who was herself once crowned Miss America in 1989, says she hopes contestants will ‘now be able to show the world who you are as a person from the inside of your soul.’
This move is being seen as a major victory for the #MeToo campaign against sexual harassment, of which Ms Carlson has been a leading figure since courageously exposing abuse she suffered from former Fox News boss Roger Ailes.
‘We will no longer judge our candidates on their outward physical appearance,’ said Miss America’s new ‘chairperson’ Gretchen Carlson (seven of the nine board members are now women). ‘That’s huge’
‘We are now open, inclusive and transparent,’ she said, ‘and I want to inspire thousands of young people across this country to come and be part of our program. We are not going to judge you on your appearance because we are interested in what makes you you.’
She further clarified: ‘It what comes out of their mouths that we care about.’
Really?
I’ve got some news for you, Gretchen: nobody on the entire planet cares what comes out of the mouths of Miss America contestants unless they say something so dumb it makes us laugh out loud.
They’re not competing to see who is smartest, funniest, or most environmentally concerned.
They’re there because they’re smoking hot.
Let me remind you how Miss America started.
The competition was set up nearly 100 years ago in Atlantic City, New Jersey, as a bathing beauty pageant specifically designed to attract tourists to the area during Labor Day weekend.
The first contest in September 1920 was entitled ‘The Fall Frolic’ and was so successful that by the following year 100,000 people turned out to watch young women compete from all over the country.
Margaret Gorman, Miss District of Columbia, was declared “The Most Beautiful Bathing Girl in America’, and quickly became known as Miss America.
Since then, thousands of beautiful young American women have entered their state contests hoping to win a coveted prize on the Miss America show.
Their dream has been quite simple: to be crowned the most beautiful woman in America.
They’re not trying to be America’s best brain surgeon; if they were, they’d go to college and study neuro-science.
They just want people to look at them on TV and go ‘Phwoar!’
And what’s so wrong with that?
Why is celebrating beauty, for purely beauty’s sake, now deemed so offensive?
The dictionary definition of beauty is: ‘A combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.’
In other words, you look at something beautiful and it makes you feel good.
That’s a good thing, isn’t it?
Have we really come to a place where to appreciate a woman’s physical beauty is a heinous crime?
The competition was set up nearly 100 years ago in Atlantic City, New Jersey, as a bathing beauty pageant specifically designed to attract tourists to the area during Labor Day weekend. Eleven finalists parade across the stage the during the competition in 1935
Within seconds of her announcement, the Miss America Twitter account tweeted a short video of a white bikini going up in smoke with the hashtag #byebyebikini. Yes, a garment worn very happily by billions of women since 5600 BC is apparently now so toxic and repellent it must be set on fire
And if we have, where does this new puritanical nonsense end?
Will cheerleaders at sports venues now have to be banned?
Will People Magazine have to stop its Most Beautiful Woman & Sexiest Man Alive specials?
I’m sure there will be some radical feminists furious it’s still called ‘Miss America’ at all on the basis that ‘Miss’ is a sexist term that sounds a bit like an abbreviated version of ‘misogynist’.
And as a man, I’m obviously outraged that it doesn’t allow men to compete, especially now it’s not about beauty.
Ms Carlson, who was herself once crowned Miss America in 1989, says she hopes contestants will ‘now be able to show the world who you are as a person from the inside of your soul’
After all, I’m intelligent, empowered, do charity work and have deep inner beauty – why the hell shouldn’t I be allowed to take part?
Perhaps I should self-identify as a woman, or gender-fluid, and sneak in that way?
(Or should I wait for Mr Universe to abandon the requirement of big muscles on the basis that it’s unfair to weedy nerds?)
Of course, with all this rampant radical feminism comes equally rampant hypocrisy.
During Sunday’s finale of Britain’s Got Talent, the UK version of America’s Got Talent, a Vegas-based ‘men’s revue’ group called Magic Mike performed.
Overseen by Hollywood beefcake Channing Tatum, who also appeared on stage, they’re basically a bunch of glorified muscle-bound male strippers who gyrate semi-naked for the delectation of women, and I presume, some men.
Of course, if they’d been female strippers doing this act on prime time family television, the radical feminists would have gone nuts.
But, because they’re men, there hasn’t been so a much as a peep of complaint, just whoops of lustful joy from ladies all over Britain.
Women don’t mind sexual objectification, it would seem, so long as it’s men being sexually objectified.
Miss America’s decision today is absolutely ridiculous, and will be an inevitable ratings disaster.
I’m afraid the harsh reality is that nobody’s going to watch a beauty pageant to see an assortment of ugly, 250lb contestants giving their views on world peace. Period.
When my British friends ask me why Donald Trump got elected President, I say because he understands that America is not just New York and Los Angeles.
He speaks in a way that many Americans in the rest of the country relate to and find refreshing.
The howling radical feminist PC mob on both coasts will wildly celebrate today’s absurd decision by the Miss America Organisation.
In Trump country, I suspect most people will frown in utter bemusement and say: ‘A beauty pageant that’s not about beauty? What the hell’s the point in that?’
To which the answer is: there isn’t one.
Bye Bye Miss America.
Kendall Morris, a former Miss Texas who was the preliminary swimsuit winner at the Miss America 2012 pageant (pictured), also expressed some disappointment at the news. Morris, now a local news anchor, credited the ‘fitness competition’ for teaching her ‘lifelong discipline beyond the Miss America stage’