A wellness pro and social commentator has shared four tactics that she believes will instantly make you seem ‘cooler’ at parties and other group settings.
It is widely agreed upon that being forgotten in the middle of conversations or being subtly put down is a disheartening experience.
Victoria, from the US, explained that genuinely caring about the people around you and making an effort to get to know them will have more of a positive impact than acting aloof and disinterested.
She said asking questions like ‘What were you saying?’ after a story was interrupted or remembering small details about other people’s lives will help to elevate them.
Other tricks include paying attention to the people being excluded and defending those being needlessly criticised.
1) The ‘You were saying?’ or ‘Stay with me’ person
‘Your chance to be this person happens when someone is in the middle of saying something and there’s an interruption,’ Victoria explained.
‘You need to follow up on the original conversation once the interruption is over.’
Similarly, when someone is telling a story and there are lots of different conversations happening at once, people gradually drop off and stop listening to the story.
‘The ‘Stay with me’ person does not drop off,’ she said. ‘They pay attention to the original story throughout.’
2) The ‘To be fair’ person
‘Your chance to do this comes up when there’s sh*t talking happening about someone who is not present in the group,’ she said.
Victoria allowed that there can be some valid criticisms, but you need to step in if you see it turning into a dog-piling situation.
‘All you have to do is interject and have a balanced take. This is so effective at taking the conversation in a compassionate direction, because people do not like an insinuation that they’re being mean.’
3) The ‘What do you mean by that?’ person
‘When someone is being subtly rude to someone else who is present, just ask them to explain themselves when they’re being shady,’ Victoria advised.
This tactic works because the impolite person will not expect to be called out on their subtle jab.
4) The ‘Forget-me-not’ person
‘Snoop on people’s social media and take note of any positive life changes,’ the professional said. ‘If someone has a new job, or they took a cool trip.’
‘You need to be the person to bring it up in a group setting. People love to talk about cool things that are going on in their lives, but they won’t want to bring it up themselves.’
Victoria explained that genuinely caring about the people around you and making an effort to get to know them will have more of a positive impact than acting aloof and disinterested
Many agreed with Victoria’s tactics.
‘I absolutely love how you broke this down. This is truly a confidence boost for me knowing I’m this person and it’s comforting and warming for others,’ one wrote.
‘I love that these are all things that actually create positive interactions and strengthen friendships, not just gimmicky ways to appear ‘cool’,’ another said.
But others claimed she was taking it too far.
‘To be fair, sometimes people do stuff so unhinged you need to vent about this person without having someone trying to justify their unjustifiable actions,’ a woman said.
‘I don’t want to be a people pleaser,’ a second wrote.