It’s just a crush! Therapist reveals four FALSE indicators of relationship chemistry that trick you into thinking you’re falling for someone – including one MAJOR ‘curveball’
- Jeff Guenther has become a TikTok sensation by sharing his relationship advice
- Most recently, he revealed the four false indications of chemistry
- The Oregon-based therapist said physical attraction wasn’t a sign of chemistry
A therapist has revealed the four things that may seem like amazing chemistry in a relationship, but are the opposite.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, has become a viral sensation on TikTok for regularly sharing his relationship expertise.
Most recently, he posted a video to his 2.6 million followers detailing the what’s commonly confused as attraction.
The love specialist explained that while these instances may feel like you and your partner have a spark, it’s a sign that you aren’t as compatible as you may think.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, is a therapist who revealed the four things that may seem like amazing chemistry in a relationship, but are the opposite
The therapist has become a viral sensation on TikTok for often sharing his expertise in the love and romance departments
Most recently, he posted a video to his 2.6 million followers detailing the common confusions in what attracts you to your crush – beginning with physical attraction
False love! The four things that AREN’T chemistry
- Physical attraction
- The thrill of the forbidden
- Shared trauma
- The barista that remembers your order
He captioned the viral clip, which amassed over 2.6 million views, ‘Four things that seem like relationship chemistry, but are not.’
The first false indication of chemistry he revealed was physical attraction, which he said he knew was a ‘curveball.’
‘You might think that finding someone super hot is real chemistry,’ he said.
He continued: ‘Physical attraction can sometimes be so strong that it feels like there’s more going on beneath the surface when there’s actually not.’
The therapist noted that to have true chemistry you need to be both physically and emotionally connected.
The second sign he detailed was ‘the thrill of the forbidden.’
‘Hooking up with someone you should not be with is so taboo, and it’s so alluring.
‘This might feel like chemistry, but it’s often more about the excitement of doing something outside the norm or going against what’s expected.
‘This kind of “chemistry” can disappear once the forbidden act is removed,’ he explained.
Next, he said the thrill of the forbidden and shared trauma are also false indications and don’t mean love
Lastly, Jeff joked that you and the ‘barista that always remembers your order’ don’t have chemistry, and it’s just ‘good customer service’
Jeff’s third indication it isn’t genuine chemistry is when you and your partner have ‘shared trauma.’
He explained that by being emotionally vulnerable with someone on an intense level and both having dealt with the same things, can cause false attraction.
‘The intense feelings of connection that can develop when two people have experienced similar traumatic experiences can feel a lot like chemistry but it’s important to distinguish between shared empathy and genuine romantic chemistry,’ he explained.
Jeff added that while having gone through the same things can help you better understand each other, it isn’t a sign of love.
Lastly, Jeff joked that you and the ‘barista that always remembers your order’ don’t have chemistry, and it’s just ‘good customer service.’