JANET STREET-PORTER: Tell your friends to stop peddling the Princess Perfect story, Meghan

Pregnant Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, went out with her husband Prince Harry in London on Thursday evening

Tell your friends to stop peddling the Princess Perfect story, Meghan. Reality stars leak stories to gossip mags, NOT Royal ones

A few weeks away from the birth of your first child, what would be your priorities?

Any normal woman would be debating what pain management to choose, whether to opt for a water birth, and finalising names.

Not the Duchess of Sussex. Meghan seems to have one objective as she awaits the arrival of the latest member of the Royal family in April – a determination to correct the rumours and false stories surfacing about everything from her alleged ability to keep key staff, her ‘feud’ with the Duchess of Cambridge to her penchant for 5am emails to Palace underlings.

With hormones going haywire, it’s not surprising that pregnant women can get obsessive. Meghan has the added burden of living a pretty solitary existence – its can’t be easy to be on constant show, to be shacked in a relatively small cottage waiting for your first real home together to be completed. One that will be out of London and afford a greater degree of privacy.

Meghan can’t pop out for a coffee or a jog without being monitored. It’s something she hasn’t found easy, and who can blame her?

Her determination to be ‘normal’- a ‘people’s princess’ if you like, is really just a fantasy which will never be a reality. When the Duchess dared to shut her own car door, security staff weren’t happy – then, we were told the reason why. At every public engagement, if there’s any kind of threat, they have to be ready to throw her swiftly into the back of her vehicle. Armed guards have a pre-determined plan for all her public appearances. Her tactic of wandering into the crowds and getting up close and personal with the public might be great for fans and good for her image, but all it needs is one stray nutter and Meghan could be in serious danger.

That’s just one of the reasons why her security staff have been leaving. As for the 5am emails – why can’t she just keep them as drafts and press send at 8am? It’s less passive-aggressive.

In her latest bid to convince us all that she’s normal, just like the rest of us, Meghan has apparently allowed five of her closest female friends to talk to People magazine.

Britain's Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, (R) and Britain's Meghan, Duchess of Sussex (C) meet guests pre-ceremony reception as they attend the annual Endeavour Fund Awards at Drapers Hall in London

Britain’s Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, (R) and Britain’s Meghan, Duchess of Sussex (C) meet guests pre-ceremony reception as they attend the annual Endeavour Fund Awards at Drapers Hall in London

Britain's Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and his wife the Duchess have been heavily featured in the press since their relationship began - with much of it coming from Meghan's own family

Britain’s Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and his wife the Duchess have been heavily featured in the press since their relationship began – with much of it coming from Meghan’s own family

Unfortunately, this tactic has backfired, because now she sounds like a less-than-credible cross between Mother Theresa, Princess Diana at her most saint-like and Mary Berry.

According to her pals, Meghan (apart from her wedding day) does her own makeup, paints her own nails, chooses her clothes, and styles herself. I almost expected to hear the Duchess is a dab hand with a needle and takes up her own hems! She’s described as ‘very self-service’.

Apparently, this paragon of modern feminism cooks for Harry every day (not too hard if you’re only eating vegetables, drinking mineral water and making vegan smoothies from kale).

The couple do not have a butler or a chef and their cottage is described as ‘cosy’. When a friend came to stay, Meghan lit a candle in her bedroom, provided slippers and a bathrobe. When her dogs get dirty, she wipes them down herself with towels. All of the above is pretty normal behaviour, but the fact that the Duchess wants to share these intimate details of her day to day life with us is charming, but irrelevant.

Fact – she wears thousands of pounds-worth of designer clothes and shoes that cost £500 a pair, teamed with handbags that are equally chic. For all the talk about ‘normality’ she is married to a member of the aristocracy, a multimillionaire, a chap who doesn’t have to get up in the morning and go to an office – and shows no sign of doing so out of choice.

I applaud the couple’s determination to give something back to society, to help the under privileged, but to push their lifestyle as humdrum and normal is rather nauseating. The public are not that gullible!

As for her troubled relationship with her father; letting us know that she wrote him a letter asking him to stop ‘victimising’ her and revealing that he even asked her to pose for pictures with him is far too much detail.

Janet Street-Porter: 'Her determination to be ‘normal’- a ‘people’s princess’ if you like, is really just a fantasy which will never be a reality'

Janet Street-Porter: ‘Her determination to be ‘normal’- a ‘people’s princess’ if you like, is really just a fantasy which will never be a reality’

Even the most hardened republican surely feels sympathy for this poor young woman with such ghastly relatives. Her horrible half-sister and half brother are total idiots. He was in court this week, charged with driving under the influence and snotty half-sister Samantha was telling the press Meghan was a ‘wealthy narcissist’ suffering from ‘lie-abetes’.

The final proof that Megan is determined to follow poor Diana down the path of saintly martyrdom, is the hot news that she’s become close friends with the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby. According to her female pals, she has ‘a huge loving fondness’ for the leader of the Church of England. A friend says ‘we can be modern women…strong moms and strong wives, but understand that (our) relationship with God is so critical’. Pass the sickbag, I don’t think I can stomach any more of this faux-perfection.

All these revelations make me feel inadequate. I just can’t measure up to this perfect example of a modern feminist. At the back of my mind, though, there lurks a big question – clearly, Meghan has dispensed with the services of a Press Officer on this occasion – and that is clear a sign of insecurity.

There’s a good reason why the palace hire highly skilled PR people – it’s to say less, not more. To retain an air of mystique, not a warts and all running commentary on their lives of privilege.

I imagine the Queen is appalled by the twaddle in People magazine, it runs counter to everything she believes in.

Couldn’t Meghan learn to act a little bit more (dare I say it?) REGAL? Keep her mouth shut, rise above common gossip, ignore her ghastly family. Blabbing is what we expect from reality stars, not members of the poshest family in Britain.

 

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