Many long-term relationships and marriages can survive – and even thrive again – after infidelity.
But could learning your partner was unfaithful while you were pregnant be too great a betrayal to ever forgive?
As it’s emerged that new mother Khloe Kardashian has ‘taken back’ her basketball player boyfriend Tristan Thompson after video footage surfaced of him kissing other women, relationship expert Sami Wunder told FEMAIL why the star could be setting a ‘dangerous precedent’ for their future if they do stay together.
The international dating coach – who said such a decision would be motivated by ‘hormones’ and ‘fear’ – explained that not only would it mean effectively communicating to Tristan that such behaviour is acceptable, Khloe could also find herself in a relationship with a similar dynamic to that of her marriage to ex-husband Lamar Odom.
Relationship expert Sami Wunder warned that new mother Khloe Kardashian could be starting a dangerous pattern if she has forgiven Tristan Thompson for his very public indiscretions
‘Khloe shouldn’t even be entertaining the thought of taking Tristan back at this point,’ she said. ‘If Khloe she takes him back right now, she’s sub-consciously and consciously telling him that his behaviour is okay.
Explaining that you should never make decisions based on fear, she continued: ‘It would be a big blow to Khloe´s sense of inner worth to “accept” such behaviour from a man.
‘If she does take him back right now, she’s doing it based on fear of being alone and fear of losing him. Fear isn’t ever a good guide when it comes to having a future healthy relationship.’
Revealing that this could trigger unhealthy habits for their future together, she said: ‘Once this kind of dynamic sets into a relationship, its really hard to turn it around.
Said that taking back basketball player Tristan so soon after videos of him with other women surfaced is subconsciously telling him that his behaviour is acceptable
‘In such cases, you often see a man taking the woman for granted and losing attraction for her at a deep and fundamental level, making the occurrence of repeated events such as this a likelihood. We saw the same dynamic with Lamar.
‘Taking Tristan back at this point would not be good for their their relationship in the long term apart from the fact that what he’s done is morally wrong.’
But Sami acknowledged that ending a relationship when children are involved is not a decision to be taken lightly.
‘Children – especially a newborn baby – will always make thing less cut and dried.
‘With pregnancy hormones still rushing around, any woman will be in a state of euphoria after becoming a mum for the first time. It may take a few weeks for the full impact of the betrayal to hit.’
Warned that she could get caught in the same relationship dynamic as experienced with ex-husband Lamar Odom
The psychologist Robert Rodriguez, author of What’s Your Pregnant Man Thinking? A Roadmap for Expectant New Mothers, claims that as many as 10 per cent of fathers-to-be cheat on their partners during pregnancy.
However, Sami believes there is hope for a successful reunion if the cheating partner expresses regret – and if the couple commit to counselling.
‘If a woman decides to make the choice to give her partner a second chance she should draw solid boundaries with this man.
‘He will need to work on himself and see a counsellor to figure out what prompted him to take such actions without considering the consequences and impact it would have on the family’s future.’
Kardashian fans were left shocked when videos surfaced earlier this week, seemingly showing Tristan Thompson with a number of other women while heavily pregnant Khloe waited to give birth at their home in Cleveland
She stressed the risk involved in giving a relationship another chance in such circumstances.
‘If you quickly forgive your man after he’s cheated on you like in Khloe´s case, you hugely run the risk of repeat behaviour on his part,’ she said.
Sami Wunder is an international relationship and marriage coach
‘This is because at a sub-conscious level you have trained him to believe that what he did was okay and acceptable and you will take him back, no matter what he does.
‘Obviously, you also expose yourself to the risk of repeated heartbreak.
‘You risk losing your sense of worth in the relationship, you find it hard to trust him again and you often find yourself feeling unnecessary jealousy or feelings of insecurity.
‘This in turn further deteriorates the attraction and overall intimacy in the relationship.
‘Both partners should receive coaching and counselling and be willing to work thoroughly on themselves if they’d like to be together after an incident of infidelity, otherwise, by yourself, its a really nebulous road to walk on with a lot of unexpressed emotion, hurt and anger to deal with,’ she concluded.