A lesbian couple has opened up about the toll the Australian marriage equality campaign has taken on them after speaking out about it ‘every single day’ since it began.
Long term partners Camille, 30, and Tee Marshall, 33, who are mothers to Finley Van, two, have spoken openly about their family life in a bid to break stereotypes and also share their life on their blog, Her and I.
Speaking to FEMAIL, Camille, from Melbourne, said the campaign has brought out both the best and worst in Australians.
‘We smile when we see our neighbours with Vote Yes posters on their windows and our hearts break when we witness café line politics discussing why we shouldn’t have the right to marry,’ she said.
A lesbian couple has opened up about the toll the marriage equality campaign has taken on them after speaking out about it ‘every single day’ since it began
Long term partners Camille (pictured), 30, and Tee Marshall, 33, who are mothers to Finley Van, two, have spoken openly about their family life in a bid to break stereotypes and also share stories on their blog
‘We have never seen so much hate for our community, ever. We are probably only feeling a glimpse of what our elders in the community felt all those years ago however with the prevalence of social media and such you can’t really escape.
‘Tee and I try and focus on the positive. It’s been beautiful to see our community come together.
‘We have planed a picnic with our rainbow families group on the Wednesday when the vote is announced so no mater the outcome we will be surrounded by love and acceptance.
‘My worry is the hate that’s bound to follow if it’s a no – the propaganda fuelled scaredy cats who hide by their religious notions will have a field day. Thank gosh Finley is too young to understand.’
‘We smile when we see our neighbours with Vote Yes posters on their windows and our hearts break when we witness café line politics discussing why we shouldn’t have the right to marry,’ she said
‘My worry is the hate that’s bound to follow if it’s a no – the propaganda fuelled scaredy cats who hide by their religious notions will have a field day. Thank gosh Finley is too young to understand,’ Camille said
For those who are planning to vote ‘no’, Camille said the postal vote is ‘not about children’ or ‘religious freedoms’.
‘The postal survey is not about children. Gay couples can adopt, foster, use IVF or a surrogate to have children now. The postal survey result will not change that,’ she said.
If you believe gay people are your equal, you will vote “Yes”.
‘The postal survey has no effect on religious freedoms. Churches have always been able to determine who they will marry and who they won’t and will continue to do so.
‘The postal survey does not challenge “traditional marriage” as there is no such thing. Marriage has constantly evolved over the years. Until 1957, a man could marry a 12 year old girl in Australia or a woman could marry a 14 year old boy.
‘The postal survey is not about children. Gay couples can adopt, foster, use IVF or a surrogate to have children now. The postal survey result will not change that,’ Camille said
‘The postal survey has no effect on religious freedoms. Churches have always been able to determine who they will marry and who they won’t and will continue to do so,’ Camille said
‘A century ago, people of colour could not marry white people. Same sex marriage is just the latest evolution.’
For Camille, a ‘yes’ vote means ‘more than the right to marry’.
‘It means our country will finally see us as equal. Finley will feel equal when at school, and when we get married we will have the same protections as our heterosexual friends. It means we are all part of history,’ she said.
Speaking out on social media, Camille said the ‘no’ campaign has been used to ‘deliberate lies and unrelated issues to confuse people into thinking the postal survey has far reaching implications’.
‘It does not,’ she said.
Speaking out on social media, Camille said the ‘no’ campaign has been used to ‘deliberate lies and unrelated issues to confuse people into thinking the postal survey has far reaching implications’
‘You are voting to grant the same respect, dignity, legal recognition and next of kin status to same sex couples like myself; the same thing opposite sex couples have now,’ she said
‘You are voting to grant the same respect, dignity, legal recognition and next of kin status to same sex couples like myself; the same thing opposite sex couples have now. Nothing more than that. If you believe gay people are your equal, you will vote “Yes”,’ she wrote.
Every form we filled out we had to cross out father and write mother or parent.
‘If you believe you are better than they are and that they should continue to be discriminated against simply because of the fact that their partner is the same gender as they are, you will vote “No”.’
The doting mother has also penned a post ‘unearthing what you’ve always wanted to know’ about two mum families in a bid to help people understand their home life better.
‘It’s nearly two years into our parenting journey and we have received a lot of emails with questions on how we conceived and what life is like in a two mum family,’ she said.
The doting mother has also penned a post ‘unearthing what you’ve always wanted to know ‘ about two mum families in a bid to help people understand their home life better
‘I can count on one hand any troll comments we have received. They honestly don’t get to me. Most come from religious radicals and their opinions don’t affect my agnostic belief and open minded values,’ she said.
Camille revealed that both she and Tee chose the IVF path to have their son and Tee, who they decided would carry their first baby, fell pregnant on the first try using an unknown donor sperm from the USA.
‘We had photos, full medical and mental history of him and his extended family, a personal story written by the donor, a voice clip, the works,’ she said.
‘They are screened and thoroughly tested and we felt international sperm was the safest and best option for us but it was very expensive. $1000+ a pop.
‘From Tee’s one and only cycle we have had the successful pregnancy and birth of our gorgeous Finley and still have 6 embryos (frozen) for later use. We have tossed around the idea of me carrying those and or me going through the same process that Tee did and using my own eggs.’
‘I can count on one hand any troll comments we have received. They honestly don’t get to me. Most come from religious radicals and their opinions don’t affect my agnostic belief and open minded values,’ she said
‘It’s different but for all the best reasons. Who else gets to say they have experience motherhood from both sides?’ She wrote
She also explained ‘how being in a lesbian relationship with a child is different’.
‘It’s different but for all the best reasons. Who else gets to say they have experience motherhood from both sides?’ She wrote.
I get to love on a baby inside my partner and love on a baby inside my own stomach.
‘As the carrying mother and as the other mother. I get to experience labour from both perspectives, motherhood from both perspectives and I get to watch my wife welcome our children into the world in different ways.
‘I get to love on a baby inside my partner and love on a baby inside my own stomach. I am treated like a queen while carrying and get to spoil my partner when she carries. Not many people in the world get to experience what we do and I feel so truly blessed to be able too.’
When it comes to the ‘what about a male role model?’ question, Camille said she does get a little annoyed when asked.
‘As the carrying mother and as the other mother. I get to experience labour from both perspectives, motherhood from both perspectives and I get to watch my wife welcome our children into the world in different ways,’ Camille said
When it comes to the ‘what about a male role model?’ question, Camille said she does get a little annoyed when asked
‘Do you ask single mothers this? Single fathers? Of course boys need a masculine influence I agree this is important but that can be found in grandfathers, male friends, uncles and when the time comes teachers and coaches,’ she said.
‘We are lucky that Finley sees his uncles many times a week, talks on Skype with his grandfathers and has a slight obsession with our neighbour Matthew who lets Finley wash down his boat on Sundays.
‘As he grows we hope Finley feels comfortable with us to reach out and talk to us about any concerns he has in regards to this matter.
‘Tee and I rough play with him daily (so important for all kids regardless of gender) and I can assure you, Finley is already a very head strong and confident young boy but if he ended up being soft natured and non-confrontational then so be it.’
‘As he grows we hope Finley feels comfortable with us to reach out and talk to us about any concerns he has in regards to this matter,’ Camille said
And when it comes to major challenges as a same-sex couple and parents?
‘The biggest challenge by far is the heterosexual discourse. Male and female, Mum and dad, His and her. The use of language under the assumption and idea that everyone is straight and or has a partner,’ she said.
‘Every form we filled out we had to cross out father and write mother or parent. The language that excludes our family. It’s getting better, but we are still a long way off getting it right that’s for sure.
‘The media is still lagging behind. I have yet to see a lesbian in a film, TV ad etc as just another actor. They are always scripted in as the tattooed lesbian, the trouble maker, the over sexualised roommate.’
‘Social media allows our community to have voice and for others of whom don’t have LGBTI friends of family to have a look into our lives,’ she said
Camille plans to continue sharing her life stories online and hopes that she can offer an insight for those who may be curious or perhaps even change the minds of some.
‘Social media allows our community to have voice and for others of whom don’t have LGBTI friends of family to have a look into our lives,’ she said.
‘It shows that we are just like any other family. We have children that sometimes don’t sleep, washing that needs folding and bills that need paying.’
For more insight and stories, Camille and Tee share info on their blog, Her and I, and Instagram page, 2 Melbourne Mummas.