A single mother who is showered with gifts and given a £2,000 monthly allowance by toyboys has opened up about her life as a sugar baby after ditching conventional romance.
Mother-of-two Stella Smith, 44, was furloughed in March from her job as an events planner and decided to find some companionship on Seeking Arrangement, a network that connects ambitious women with wealthy suitors.
Within a few days of having joined Stella, who lives in Brent, north-west London, was flooded with more than 100 messages.
She has since arranged 58 dates and been on 20, saying she was surprised by how young some of the sugar daddies have been.
Within a few days of having signed up to the dating site seekingarrangement.com, Stella Smith, 44, from London received more than 100 messages from potential suitors
After thinking about where past relationships went wrong, Stella realised she wanted to try dating men who were more established and successful
Stella said: ‘Previously, if I thought of a sugar daddy, I’d picture a rich old man surrounded by beautiful young girls.
‘But it’s surprised me that most of the men I’ve met through the site have been younger than me – some by up to 10 years.
‘They are established, handsome guys, who want a drama-free life and are willing to pay any money for that. They don’t want demands or pressures, but they are willing to support me and share what they have.’
Stella was originally born in Hungary and split from her husband when her children were younger.
Despite being given cash gifts by some of her dates, she wants to make it clear that she is not being paid in exchange for sex and that she makes her boundaries very clear with her dates
Mother-of-two Stella Smith, 44, (pictured) has opened up about her life as a sugar baby after ditching conventional romance
She has lived all across the globe in places such as New York before settling in London six years ago.
Her busy lifestyle meant that Stella, who doesn’t have a ‘type’, didn’t have much time to seriously date people.
She said: ‘I only ever had relationships lasting around a year or so and I’ve never had a one night stand in my life.
‘I didn’t have a type, either. Whenever I had a break-up, I’d want to go for somebody totally different the next time. I kept trying to find that perfect match.
Stella also said that she’s always kept her life as a mother separate from her dating life so that her children didn’t think she was trying to replace their father.
The events planner was furloughed in March, giving her plenty of time to think about her love life. This led her to sign up for Seeking Arrangement
Due to the coronavirus lockdown, Stella was forced to meet people on video calls to begin with, but when measures were eased by the Government, she met up with some of her suitors at pubs and restaurants
To date, Stella estimates she has received around £2,000 in cash gifts from her dates, as well as being given a £2,000 monthly allowance from one sugar daddy
She has lived all across the globe in places such as New York before settling in London six years ago.
Her busy lifestyle meant that Stella, who doesn’t have a ‘type’, didn’t have much time to seriously date people.
She said: ‘I only ever had relationships lasting around a year or so and I’ve never had a one night stand in my life.
‘I didn’t have a type, either. Whenever I had a break-up, I’d want to go for somebody totally different the next time. I kept trying to find that perfect match.
Stella also said that she’s always kept her life as a mother separate from her dating life so that her children didn’t think she was trying to replace their father.
After moving to London in 2014 Stella threw herself into her career as well as teaching dance and gymnastics on the side, but after being furloughed she had more time to think about her love life.
Stella, who is originally from Hungary, split with her husband when her two children were small and now tries to keep her life as a mother separate from her dating life so that her children don’t think she is trying to replace their father
‘I thought over my past relationships, what had been missing and how I could have made them better,’ she said.
‘It wasn’t necessarily about money. I realised I wanted to be with someone more successful. I thought a more established man may be more relaxed and fun to be around.’
She realised that there was no harm in trying out Seeking Arrangement and trying a different style of relationship.
In early April, Stella set up a profile explaining who she was and what she was looking for in a man.
She added: ‘I didn’t name an exact amount of money I wanted or anything like that. I just said connection was a must, but that I was also looking for financial support.
Unlike on other dating sites, Stella says that the men she has come across have all been courteous to her, even when rejected
‘It was quite embarrassing to put all my cards on the table like that.’
Having been on other dating sites before, Stella was worried that she would discover horror stories as she searched for love.
Luckily for her, the potential suitors on Seeking Arrangement were all courteous and treated her with respect, even if she rejected their advances.
Due to the coronavirus lockdown, Stella was not immediately able to meet any of her matches in person and so started conducting dates on video calls.
‘Not being able to meet in real life meant we had no choice but to take it slow and get to know one another on a deeper level,’ she said.
‘It was really nice to have that company and connection during lockdown.’
Once lockdown restrictions were eased by the Government, allowing for people from two households to meet, Stella arranged dates with 58 of her matches, though she has only gone through with 20 so far.
The dates started off with socially-distanced walks in the park before moving to restaurant and pub meets when venues re-opened in July.
She said the beauty of Seeking Arrangement is that she was able to make it very clear to potential suitors early on exactly what she was looking for
The men she was dating would both pay for the dinner and offer her cash gifts for her time.
Although not used to receiving cash in exchange for a date, Stella soon realised it came from a place of love.
She said: ‘They would give me £100 as a thank you for dinner or £150 to make sure I got home safe. One man just slipped a bundle of cash into my pocket when I wasn’t looking.
‘Because I wasn’t used to that sort of thing, I had to force myself to take it. It did feel loving, though, not transactional.
‘Just like traditional dating, some men that I met weren’t as tempting in real life and I had no connection with them, but others, I got on great with and continued to see.’
Though a couple of her dates have been in their 60s, the majority of the men she has met with have been her age or younger, with the youngest aged 10 years younger than her.
‘I never considered younger men as an option, but 80 per cent of those I’ve spoken to and met have been younger than me,’ she said.
‘I’m more attracted to them than I thought I’d be. They’re all extremely handsome, but also mature. You’d never know they were younger than me and I find myself asking them for advice.
‘That’s what life is all about though – changes and surprises.’
Although not used to being given money for going on dates, Stella soon realised the men were paying her out of love and that it wasn’t transactional
Although a couple of the men she has dated from the site were aged in their 60s, Stella said that the majority of her dates have been her age or younger – with the youngest being 10 years her junior
To date, Stella believes she has received around £2,000 in cash gifts from dates, with one sugar daddy giving her a £2,000 monthly allowance.
However, she is keen to stress that she is not exchanging sex for money and that what she does is different from being an escort because she is simply looking for companionship.
She said: ‘I’ve never felt pressure to sleep with the men I’ve met. They don’t expect it, either – they don’t even expect a kiss.
‘I’m a very friendly and warm person, but I’ve also been careful to make my boundaries very clear.’
The mother-of-two likes to refer to her potential suitors as ‘arrangements’ rather than ‘relationships’ but stresses that what she does is very different to being an escort
Stella hopes that by sharing her own experience that other people will be less quick to be judgemental about non-conventional dating
Stella describes her new love life as a series of ‘arrangements’ rather than ‘relationships’ and she hopes that by sharing her own experience it will encourage other people not to be so judgemental of non-conventional dating.
She said: ‘I’ve met exceptional men that I wouldn’t otherwise have crossed paths with.
‘The good thing about Seeking Arrangement is that you put all your cards on the table and talk about exactly what you want from a relationship early on. There are couples who’ve been married for years and haven’t had that conversation.
‘I found traditional dating almost like a big shopping mall, with so much on offer that you don’t know where to look. This is much more exclusive.’