Louise Thompson has candidly shared she has cried ‘twenty times’ this week as she detailed her progress with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on Instagram on Saturday.
The former Made In Chelsea star, 31, gave birth to her first child Leo Hunter back in November and spent five weeks in hospital suffering from complications after nearly dying during labour.
Louise explained how her ‘road to recovery won’t be linear’ as she noted the highs and lows over the past few days.
Going through it: Louise Thompson, 31, has candidly shared that she has cried ‘twenty times’ this week as she detailed her progress with PTSD on Instagram on Saturday
Louise has been detailing her mental health struggles since then, and has shared that she has been suffering with PTSD.
In her latest post, she admitted that while she is still struggling with fears she is going to die, she has managed some of her daily tasks.
She wrote alongside a photograph with son Leo in a pram as she stood by a flower stall that she has thousands of thoughts each day.
Louise penned: ‘60,000 thoughts passing through my head each day. If I can try and get 30,001 of them to be non anxious thoughts then I am sort of winning. Honestly I’ve never known anxiety like it. It feels inexplicable. But it’s not, and I’m starting to make sense of it.
Candid: After the birth, Louise has been detailing her mental health struggles since then, and has shared that she has been suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
‘I want to say a big thank you to everyone for the outpouring of love, your kind words, your cards, flowers, gifts and your super supportive/constructive messages… most of all I want to thank you for being so patient, sorry if I’m being slow.
‘The days are moving strangely quickly and I can’t seem to get much done. Even thinking about that sends me into a bit of a panic. I don’t know whether I want to speed up the healing, or slow down the precious moments.’
She shared her journey is not ‘linear’ and there will be ups and downs. Louise wrote: ‘Unfortunately this week hasn’t been as easy as last week, but like any ‘transformation’ i know it won’t be linear, instead my road to recovery will take the form of a jagged line… much like my fitness transformation all those years ago.’
Louise then wrote about the positives she experienced this week, including that she had a meal with her son and partner Ryan Libbey.
Strong: Louise penned in the caption: ‘60,000 thoughts passing through my head each day. If I can try and get 30,001 of them to be non anxious thoughts then I am sort of winning’
‘Some positives: Because every day I write down some positives (yes I’ve been journaling like mad), but I think I still find talking helps me more.
‘1. This week I managed to talk myself out of the ‘I’m going to die’ mentality a few times without medical help. Having more awareness of what is going on in my head massively helps to calm me down. I also tell myself that I can review my physical symptoms in 24 hours which is a good habit to practise because by the time the 24 hour period is up I’ll have survived.
‘2. I managed to attend an appointment on my own. Woooo. 3. Ryan and I went out for some food with baby Leo. 4. We went for a long(ish) walk in the park with the dogs. 5. My scar is finally looking healed up enough that I might even consider having a bath. Yikes ! Is that allowed?
‘6. My sickness has subsided and I’ve finally regained a bit of an appetite so I can try and maintain my weight. 7. I’ve stopped googling when I feel triggered (willpower 101) 8. I’ve stopped measuring my temperature and blood pressure and heart rate and anything else that I can track 9. I got 8 hours of sleep last night and even had some dreams (exceptionally weird ones as Ptsd can drudge up strange things from the past)’
Getting there: Louise then wrote about the positives she experienced this week, including that she had a meal with her son and partner Ryan Libbey
As well as the shot of Louise, the reality star shared a photo of Ryan about to tuck into some tasty looking food at the restaurant Bibendum.
Louise spent five weeks in hospital following ‘serious complications’ after labour and has previously spoken about how her ‘rock’ Ryan was by her side throughout.
Louise took to Instagram last week to thank him for everything he has done, including ‘calling ambulances, waiting outside operating theatres and sleeping on hard hospital floors’.
In the post the television personality told how he it had been the ‘hardest year of her life’ but that he helped her recover when they returned home.
Together: Louise spent five weeks in hospital following ‘serious complications’ after labour and has previously spoken about how her ‘rock’ Ryan was by her side throughout
She explained how he ‘showered her, changed sanitary towels, injected her’ and brought her little one to see her in hospital so they could bond.
Louise signed off by saying she ‘commended’ Ryan who had ‘witnessed things no partner should ever have to’, before calling him her ‘rock’.
She previously shared the first picture of her adorable son on her page and admitted ‘it wasn’t easy’ to explain what has happened to her in recent weeks.
Shocking: The reality star had announced that she was taking a break from social media on November 14, ahead of the birth, but concerned fans after remaining silent
The reality star had announced that she was taking a break from social media on November 14, ahead of the birth, but concerned fans after remaining silent in the following weeks.
On December 23, in a lengthy post, Louise admitted that she ‘never imagined that so many bad things could happen to me, but to dance with death twice brings a whole new view of the world – a stark reminder of how short and sacred life really is.’
While she confessed that she was ‘in a bit of a strange place mentally and physically,’ the new mum said that she was finally at a place where she could ‘see a future where I get to live peacefully on this earth with my son.’
If you have been affected by anything in this story please contact Birth Trauma Association at birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
Sad: On December 23, Louise admitted she ‘never imagined that so many bad things could happen to me, but to dance with death twice brings a whole new view of the world’
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