Married At First Sight recap: ALEX MICHAEL reveals why the cast can’t talk bout the Poppy incident

There was love, lust and a whiff of fish in the air as Married At First Sight celebrated Fetish Week on Wednesday.

Spare a thought for the Australian Communications and Media Authority, which spent the morning sifting through thousands of complaints from traumatised parents.

And it’s not hard to see why, with the editors serving up the closest thing you can get to bondage porn on free-to-air networks that aren’t called SBS.

Giddy up! There was love, lust and a whiff of fish in the air as Married At First Sight celebrated Fetish Week on Wednesday. Pictured: Cathy Evans

Tash and Amanda

Blame John! After John Aiken encouraged Amanda to do something Tash likes, she was forced to cook a vegan meal that Tash couldn't even eat

Blame John! After John Aiken encouraged Amanda to do something Tash likes, she was forced to cook a vegan meal that Tash couldn’t even eat

Thanks a lot, John Aiken.

On Tuesday night, he told Amanda to ‘try expressing an interest in Tash’s hobbies’.

On Wednesday, she was neck deep in savoury yeast flakes, arguing over dinner plans with a ‘white food’ vegan who lacked the nutrients to fight back. 

Beyond annoying: Cut to Coles, where Tash was going from aisle to aisle pointing out all the things she can't eat. Four hours in and they were still in aisle three

Beyond annoying: Cut to Coles, where Tash was going from aisle to aisle pointing out all the things she can’t eat. Four hours in and they were still in aisle three

Cut to Coles, where Tash was going from aisle to aisle pointing out all the things she can’t eat.

Four hours in and they were still in aisle three. Eventually, they settled on ‘Beyond’ fake meat burgers.

‘Oh, by the way, I just got my teeth whitened so I can only eat white food for 24 hours,’ Tash revealed.

So Tash had a bowl of cauliflower for dinner, while Amanda spent the night spitting chunks of pea protein isolate into a napkin.

Food fight: 'I just got my teeth whitened so I can only eat white food for 24 hours,' Tash said. So Amanda spent the night spitting out chunks of pea protein, while Tash ate a whole cauliflower

Food fight: ‘I just got my teeth whitened so I can only eat white food for 24 hours,’ Tash said. So Amanda spent the night spitting out chunks of pea protein, while Tash ate a whole cauliflower

Michael and Stacey

On the couch again! Michael woke up to the soothing sounds of the 5 Dragons machine at Star Casino, after Stacey kicked him out following yet another boozy fight

On the couch again! Michael woke up to the soothing sounds of the 5 Dragons machine at Star Casino, after Stacey kicked him out following yet another boozy fight

Michael woke up to the soothing sounds of the 5 Dragons machine at Star Casino, after Stacey kicked him out following yet another boozy fight.

‘Intimacy week is now apology week,’ he told producers. ‘I only drank like seven pints of beer and now I’m in the naughty corner!’

He spent the morning walking ‘three hours’ to get Stacey a red velvet cake, which she hated. It turns out her love of all things artificial does not extend to food colouring.

Makeup cake? Michael spent the morning walking 'three hours' to get Stacey a red velvet cake, which she hated

It turns out Stacey's love of all things artificial does not extend to food colouring

Makeup cake? Michael spent the morning walking ‘three hours’ to get Stacey a red velvet cake, which she hated. It turns out her love of all things artificial does not extend to food colouring

Michael tried to salvage the situation by making dinner.

He spent an hour trying to cook a steak in the dishwasher before caving in and paying a professional chef to make him a meal. 

‘I know you think I can’t cook, but I studied it while I was sleeping in the other room,’ he lied to Stacey, who bought it hook, line and sinker. 

Cheater! Michael 'cheated' by getting a professional chef to make dinner and passing it off as his own. It worked, and he's back in Stacey's good books

Cheater! Michael ‘cheated’ by getting a professional chef to make dinner and passing it off as his own. It worked, and he’s back in Stacey’s good books

Cathy and Josh

Chain reaction: Josh set off a chain reaction of sex fetish exploration after coming home from the sex shop with more questionable costumes than a high school play

Chain reaction: Josh set off a chain reaction of sex fetish exploration after coming home from the sex shop with more questionable costumes than a high school play

Josh set off a chain reaction of sex fetish exploration after coming home from the sex shop with more questionable costumes than a public school play.

‘I’m starting to think this is more of a treat for him,’ Cathy complained. ‘Sometimes I don’t even wear underwear, it just ends up on the floor anyway.’ 

Back at the apartment, Josh realised he’d been having sex with Cathy all week and hadn’t thought to tell the cameramen to leave. 

Sex tape alert: Back at the apartment, Josh realised he'd been having sex with Cathy all week and hadn't thought to tell the cameramen to leave

Sex tape alert: Back at the apartment, Josh realised he’d been having sex with Cathy all week and hadn’t thought to tell the cameramen to leave

He had a change of heart and invited them back in for the main course.

It turns out Josh’s idea of fun is lying face down on a bed and getting his brains whipped off by John Wayne.

‘Do you like that? Do you like that?’ Cowboy Cathy asked. 

Josh tried to say ‘no’ but was having trouble spitting the gag ball out of his mouth. 

The main course: He invited them back in for the main course. It turns out Josh's idea of fun is lying face down on a bed and getting his brains whipped off by John Wayne

The main course: He invited them back in for the main course. It turns out Josh’s idea of fun is lying face down on a bed and getting his brains whipped off by John Wayne

Mishel and Steve 

'Put your hand in that!' The cameramen were forced to abandon Cowboy Cathy to respond to a disturbance at Mishel and Steve's room. 'Put your hand in that!' we heard her whispering

‘Put your hand in that!’ The cameramen were forced to abandon Cowboy Cathy to respond to a disturbance at Mishel and Steve’s room. ‘Put your hand in that!’ we heard her whispering

The cameramen were forced to abandon Cowboy Cathy to respond to a disturbance at Mishel and Steve’s room.

‘Put your hand in that, how does that feel? Now smell it!’ Mishel sensually whispered, revealing her past life as one of those ASMR flops on YouTube.

‘Phwoar, it smells like fish!’ We could hear Steve yelling from behind the door. 

Sensory overload: Turns out it was just Mishel's 'sensory experience', which involved Steve putting on a blindfold and sticking his hands in bowls of sloppy food

Sensory overload: Turns out it was just Mishel’s ‘sensory experience’, which involved Steve putting on a blindfold and sticking his hands in bowls of sloppy food

Turns out it was just Mishel’s ‘sensory experience’, which involved Steve putting on a blindfold and sticking his hands in bowls of sloppy food.

Their night ended with a blistering fight after Mishel complained about Steve’s lack of interest in her adrenaline junkie lifestyle.

‘We may as well be at the retirement village,’ she moaned. 

I don’t know Mishel, l visited my nan last week and ‘tonguing bowls of jelly’ was not on the activities roster.

Married At First Sight: Their night ended with a blistering fight after Mishel complained about Steve's lack of interest in her adrenaline junkie lifestyle

Married At First Sight: Their night ended with a blistering fight after Mishel complained about Steve’s lack of interest in her adrenaline junkie lifestyle

‘The Poppy Incident’

But the fake events of Fetish Week were overshadowed by a very real scandal involving Poppy and Luke on Wednesday.

Poppy has hired lawyers after making some very serious allegations about the circumstances of her exit from the show.

‘Why is Luke crying when I left? What really happened that he was crying over? You don’t know because I wasn’t allowed to say! It’s too controversial!’ she wrote in a since-deleted Facebook post.

Real problems: But the fake events of Fetish Week were overshadowed by a very real scandal involving Poppy and Luke on Wednesday

Real problems: But the fake events of Fetish Week were overshadowed by a very real scandal involving Poppy and Luke on Wednesday

‘He’s scared s**tless I will tell the truth. I was afraid to speak up! But f**k this s**t, I’m going to tell everything!’ 

Other cast members have refused to discuss the matter during interviews, citing orders from producers not to speak about it.

But this is no cover-up. It’s instead a legal minefield because the allegations Poppy is levelling at Luke can’t be published without his right of reply.

No comment: Other cast members, including Connie, have refused to discuss the matter during interviews, citing orders from producers not to speak about it

No comment: Other cast members, including Connie, have refused to discuss the matter during interviews, citing orders from producers not to speak about it

Kyle and Jackie O secured an interview with Poppy’s best friend, who proceeded to detail the allegations in full regardless.

It’s up to Luke whether he wants to respond to the claims – but you almost certainly won’t see the cast, or the rest of the media, talking about them until he does.

Married At First Sight continues Wednesday at 7:30pm on Channel Nine 

Will he have his say? But this is no cover-up. It's instead a legal minefield because the allegations Poppy is levelling at Luke can't be published without his right of reply

Will he have his say? But this is no cover-up. It’s instead a legal minefield because the allegations Poppy is levelling at Luke can’t be published without his right of reply

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